Sincerity

Actualism
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In actualism, the word “sincerity” has a specific meaning distinct from its commonplace usage. I found this exchange[1] capture the essense of it. It is also inextricably connected to naivete as an ongoing state of being. So here’s an attempt at verbalizing my understanding. Let me know what you think.

  1. The normal state is one of mild dissociation.
    • “I” have feelings; and “I” want to control the ‘inner world’ of dissociated feelings (like moving chess pieces around)
    • When “I” have feelings, “I” am not responsible for them. It is usually somebody else’s or some event’s fault. This leads to wanting to control the ‘outside world’.
    • If that control (of inner or outer world) fails, this can cause further feelings, reinforcing that control in more pathological ways. For example, “I” take on the fault, and try to control my ‘inner world’ (sometimes in the name of ‘actualism’)
    • Overall, we end up being unwittingly busy either expressing or repressing emotions.
  2. The only way to stop this dissociation is to “do” the opposite[2]: put the emotion into a bind[3] or not move psychologically[4].
    • Not trying to hide who “I” am by, for example,
      • … controlling my affect display (posture, facial expression, etc.)
      • … adopting compensatory attitudes, behaviours, feelings (being a ‘nice guy’; being extra-polite; faking interest; being ‘open’)
    • Not getting ‘carried away’ by thoughts in the head or feelings in heart. Freeze them. Literally.
    • Get down to the instinctual passions (in the belly area) and ‘stay’ with them (put into a bind).
    • Stay as long as until something beneficial happens (the “choice” which respondent talks about), and you get maximal information out of them (and the supposedly ‘frozen’ cognition/affections atop)
  3. Acknowledge and appreciate being naive as a result because that’s what sincerity enables effortlessly (again, the “choice”).
    • I’m angry … so, I’m angry; simple as; this is who “I” am. No need to mask or modulate one’s aggression (or libido, fear or nurture) or try to change others; let the adult sophisticates play that sweaty game for their brownie points.
    • Just have fun with one’s own feelings! “Oh, it changed. Umm, what was that? Oh yea, Mr. Blind Nature in action once again …”. We literally don’t have to change the world of people, things and events just because “feelings”; rather we only need to become a scientist. Isn’t this great freedom enjoyed by sincere actualists? Plus, the obsession feels excellent.[5]

  1. In case your browser doesn’t automatically scroll to and highlight the relevant exchange, use the “Find” functionality to locate the text Richard, you are right. I am wrong.. ↩︎

  2. “Not doing” would be more accurate in some sense! ↩︎

  3. RICHARD: By neither expressing nor repressing emotions, something new can happen. The emotion is put into a bind, it has nowhere to go. Next time anger, say, comes up in a situation, simply decline to have it happen. Observe it as it gets up to all kinds of tricks to have its way. Do not express it – but do not repress it either. Watch what happens … you will be surprised. Personally, I rid myself of anger in about three weeks when I started on this all those years ago. The more subtle variations like getting peeved, getting irritated and getting annoyed took a little longer, but losing my temper in an angry outburst ended after about three weeks. I kid you not. It all has to do with the determination to succeed, with patience and diligence born out of the pure intent garnered from a peak experience. You just know that it is possible to be peaceful because you have seen it for yourself. One will do whatever is required to be that experience, twenty-four-hours of the day.

    Here we can start afresh. Here we can have success. Be Totally Rid Of Emotions And Passions ↩︎

  4. Q(1): … and I realised that I couldn’t go into hope again.

    R: … couldn’t go into hope again … and you sat there and realised that you were to simply sit in this starkness, this barrenness, and not move in any direction whatever. Not move psychologically, I mean. That is; emotionally or mentally. That is very, very important – not to move. Something Has Definitely Changed In Me ↩︎

  5. I’ve always been obssessed & passionate & singled-minded with computers (for better and worse); now I get to be that way with actualism too. ↩︎

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Hi Srid,

I would put #2 more as – accepting that ‘I’ am ‘my’ feelings and ‘my’ feelings are ‘me’ – rather than “not doing anything”.

Accepting meaning in an “emotionally accept that it is the case” kind of way

In other words, decline to dissociate, just really accept that ‘I’ am that feeling. Stay with it, there will likely be lot of resistance, particularly for something ‘I’ really don’t want to accept about ‘myself’.

Once I do this, it is remarkably freeing – I can then acknowledge that I actually am that way! It takes the ‘sting’ out of it. This is being sincere, actually – being sincere doesn’t mean not feeling any feelings I label that “I don’t want to feel that”, it’s rather acknowledging and accepting when I am feeling(/being) those feelings.

You don’t have to get down to the instinctual passions or stay with it, the way you phrase it here it sounds more like a meditative-type thing that won’t be too fruitful

I would say what the “something beneficial happens” is, is this “accepting ‘I’ am ‘that’ (sic!) feeling”. Because once I see I am that feeling, that is when I am then able to freely make the choice, if I want to feel that way or another way.

From there it is a matter of perhaps rememorating how pleasant it is to feel felicitous, as opposed to feeling ‘bad’ or feeling ‘good’ feelings – and since it’s just a matter of choice and nothing else, then it becomes easy to make that choice.

In terms of when this segues into naivete, I’m not sure I can draw a clear demarcation. Everything I describe above really is a naive approach. Maybe the naive part really shines when I see that “oh it is just me!” with no moral judgement (‘good’ or ‘bad’), and then “oh I can make the choice!”, in that simple way.

All of this really makes for being of a much sunnier disposition! :grin:

In terms of Step 3 then it would be just to enjoy and appreciate this felicitous way of being, which will make it easier to get back to it when it will inevitably dip due to some trigger or other – but no matter, as now you can get back to it more easily :slight_smile:

Cheers,
Claudiu

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I should clarify a bit here — being naïveté is clearly a distinct thing (an EE really), while being naive has a distinctive flavor as well. It is a feeling and a way of being that is certainly its own thing, distinct from just a general sense of well being. But I don’t know if I can say clearly ‘when’ it starts to happen while doing the above. I’d certainly say taking the sincere approach outlined here engenders naïveté , but not sure if that is so satisfying a way to put it

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Claudiu: In terms of when this segues into naiveté, I’m not sure I can draw a clear demarcation. Everything I describe above really is a naïve approach. Maybe the naïve part really shines when I see that “oh it is just me!” with no moral judgement (‘good’ or ‘bad’), and then “oh I can make the choice!”, in that simple way.
I should clarify a bit here – being naïveté is clearly a distinct thing (an EE really), while being naive has a distinctive flavor as well. It is a feeling and a way of being that is certainly its own thing, distinct from just a general sense of well being. But I don’t know if I can say clearly ‘when’ it starts to happen while doing the above. I’d certainly say taking the sincere approach outlined here engenders naïveté, but not sure if that is so satisfying a way to put it (link)

Hi Claudiu,

It’s a great topic and I would add that being naïve (eventually) includes an affective felicity and appreciation such as a gay abandon into marvel and wonderment of being alive, allowing a growing magnanimity and increasing self-lessness to flourish. Remember, it is the affective energy of the ‘good’ and bad feelings which is channelled into the affective felicitous and innocuous feelings. Or as Richard described appreciation more eloquently –

Richard: Upon reading or hearing Richard’s oft-repeated “enjoying and appreciating being alive” catchphrase (as in, ‘being here at this propitious place in space at this dynamic moment in time’, for instance) it can, on mirificent occasion, serve as a prompt for marvelling at how well-equipped human beings are – when emerging as suckling babes on this verdant and azure planet which begat the human race and whereat humankind flourishes – inasmuch there is not only an innate awareness of being sentient (which awareness of being conscious no other creatures come equipped with) there is also an inbuilt affective monitor, in the form of hedonic-tone, of the pleasurable-displeasureable status of any and all of the affections which arise out of the rough-n-ready survival package of genetically-inherited instinctual passions. (…) (Richard, Marvelling At How Well-Equipped Human Beings Are)

Richard: To be naive is to be virginal, unaffected, unselfconsciously artless, ingenuous, simple and unsophisticated … and pure intent manifests in the connection between the intimate aspect of oneself (that one usually keeps hidden away for fear of seeming foolish) and the purity of the perfection of the peak experience.

Perhaps this is also an appropriate opportunity for everyone’s benefit to re-introduce Richard’s suggestion how to be the key to being naiveté – from the “distinctive flavor” of being naïve to the “distinct thing (an EE really)” of being naiveté –

Richard: Given that it is, plainly and simply, always ‘my’ choice as to how ‘I’ experience this moment then the optimum manner in which to do so is, of course, sincerely/ naïvely.
Thus the part-sentence in that previous post of mine [quote] ‘and to be sincere is to be the key which unlocks naiveté’ [endquote] is worth expanding upon.
The operative words in that part-sentence are [quote] ‘… to be the key …’ [endquote] and with particular emphasis on the word ‘be’ (rather than ‘have’ for instance).
In other words, to be sincerity (not only have sincerity) is to be the key (not merely have the key) to be naiveté (not just have naiveté).
(Bear in mind that, at root, ‘I’ am ‘my’ feelings and ‘my’ feelings are ‘me’ and it will all become clear).
As there is something I have oft-times encouraged a fellow human being to try, in face-to-face interactions, which usually has the desired effect it is well worth detailing here:
Reach down inside of yourself intuitively (aka feeling it out) and go past the rather superficial emotions/ feelings (generally in the chest area) into the deeper, more profound passions/ feelings (generally in the solar plexus area) until you come to a place (generally about four-finger widths below the navel) where you intuitively feel you elementarily have existence as a feeling being (as in ‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being … which is ‘being’ itself).
Now, having located ‘being’ itself, gently and tenderly sense out the area immediately below that (just above/ just before and almost touching on the sex centre).
Here you will find yourself both likeable and liking (for here lies sincerity/ naiveté).
Here is where you can, finally, like yourself (very important) no matter what.
Here is the nearest a ‘self’ can get to innocence whilst remaining a ‘self’.
Here lies tenderness/ sweetness and togetherness/ closeness.
Here is where it is possible to be the key. (Richard, List D, Srid, 26 May 2009).

Cheers Vineeto

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