Unlocking the power of being empowered to be you

Hi,

It is a strange title, and I am inebriated.

What I want to share is the excitement that I feel, and the momentum that is intrinsic to meeting others who share this journey.

I grew up in church. First, the Uniting Church, but then my father dragged my mother to a Pentecostal church called “New Day”.

It was the most radical church in my city. Not that I knew that at 9 years old.

Who knows anything at 9 year old! :joy:

What I am, is something quite unique. Unique in that I will keep posting and writing beyond any achievement.

Do not fear, I am just as astounded by my arrogance as you are!

What an absolutely justifiable object of derision.

(I am not posting for sympathy or such like)

What I am posting about is the empowerment that is intrinsic to who I am.

As unbearable as it is, that such an unqualified person should continue to post on this forum, can you imagine the empowerment with which it happens?

That is the empowerment I wish for all of you. I wish it for myself.

I had a wonderful walk today. It was vibrant. I was perky and energetic. Great times!

If ever you feel that you are unqualified, or should keep quiet, or that you have nothing worthwhile to share, just remember this completely unqualified Pentecostal nobody has the second most posts on this forum, and previously, the second most posts on Vippasona Forum. No joke!

I was empowered at an early point to be this guy. I am still here because of that, and genetics I suppose.

I wake and cringe “what did I post?” every day.

If you knew me in person, you would know that what I post is a small fraction of what some may consider “cringe “. I am however, well liked.

I like all of you here. I really do!

People who explored and found this obscure”cult” where feeling good is the ultimate entry point!

Cheers

Andrew

PS yes, I will cringe tomorrow, and am already cringing. However, since when was it good practice to follow feelings?

1 Like

Andrew: (…) People who explored and found this obscure “cult” where feeling good is the ultimate entry point!

Hi Andrew,

As you enjoy writing on this forum and, besides “cringing”, consider it an achievement that you are doing it, perhaps it is beneficial to look closer at the above statement.

Recently I had long discussions with Syd because I discovered that for him ‘feeling good’ initially included all the feelings which hedonically feel good, i.e. the ‘good feelings’ (link). He even tried to make out that actually free people said so (link) – and before others are infected with the same misunderstanding I want to make sure that this short-cut representation of “this obscure “cult” where feeling good is the ultimate entry point” is not misunderstood in the same way.

I also had a detailed discussion with you about the nature of ‘good’ feelings (link) and how they, being ‘self’-enhancing, have nothing to do with the term feeling good as explicated in This Moment of Being Alive. I am putting in this note of caution because after you expressed interest in information for putting “everything on an ‘it-doesn’t-really-matter’ basis” (link), and you now titled your new thread “Unlocking the power of being empowered to be you”, which somehow seems to contradict your previous intent. Viz.:

Richard: A general rule of thumb is: if it is a preference it is a self-less inclination; if it is an urge it is a self-centred desire. [Emphases added]. (Richard, AF List, 25d, 14 Jan 2004)

As this title sounds more self-aggrandising or at least ‘self’-enhancing, in contrast to putting everything on an ‘it-doesn’t-really-matter’ basis, I am rather baffled as to your intentions and your understanding of the term ‘feeling good’.

Perhaps all is well and you are throwing off old cobwebs of the past because you also say, in the middle of it all –

Andrew: “I had a wonderful walk today. It was vibrant. I was perky and energetic. Great times!”

Just checking.

Cheers Vineeto

2 Likes

Hi Vineeto,

Thanks for the reply. I was drunk, however, the inclination to post and cringe has been there in any state of mind.

Underneath it all, there is loneliness. However, practically, there was also the thought that this “post then cringe “ pattern, which predates Actualism, indeed predates the internet itself.

I indeed woke up, after a long and sound sleep, and remembered that I had indeed “done it again “. The thoughts were less about the cringe this time, and more about the dynamic.

I don’t submit to the “socially reserved “ ‘self’ protection that would express itself as not posting, but I do what the title of the thread says, I empower myself.

From one extreme to the other, with the same rebellious ideas powering the dynamic.

But, I saw that loneliness as the main driving factor. The desire for connection, the desire for conversation with actualists. The knowledge that despite the “cringe” it’s going to take a village for me to change.

That sounds just as pathetic to me as it surely does to others. However, is it not a fact that as of now, very few have had the individual fortitude the make it solo?

Cheers

Andrew

3 Likes

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t seeking to connect in a ‘village’ part of that ‘self’-enhancement?

On the other hand, feeling felicitous & innocuous can be ‘contagious’ … so in that sense this ‘village’ can be beneficial (in a non-affectional sense).

Yet, that would require each and every one of us (have the ‘individual fortitude’) to put being happy and harmless (rather than lonely, for instance, thereon seek to connect with others to assuage it) as a no. 1 priority.

I’m just another guy who is not yet free (like every other feeling-being here), so I’m happy to be wrong and corrected, but I thought this is worth writing about.

1 Like

I used the situation to work out, to some degree, why I am like this. Why do I post so much when I will, very quickly, cringe at that fact?

I said that this isn’t the first time. I first discovered online forums around 2010. A guitar tube amp forum! I became obsessed with posting. I then had the thought to use this addiction to revive my (by then) flat spiritual journey. So I found a forum call vipassana forum . It was actually a Tibetan train meditation forum, which was very useful to me. Anyway, I digress.

Discussing the single most important thing to me is locked behind a screen.

I have read sci-fi novels which had a similar premise. Haha

Then there are the facts.

When I talk to a friend on the phone, it could be a couple of hours. I have these conversations only every few months, but the conversation will be into many thousands of words. The equivalent of a short story if typed out.

The fact is a spoken conversation goes into thousands of words over a modest length of time.

ChatGPt tells me that a careful and considered conversation has between 100-120 words per minute. 6000 to 7200 per hour.

This is challenging why I “cringe” , examining the facts.

If we look at a spoken conversation, which I have had with many here, many of which were an hour or more, then a normal conversation is at least 6000 words long.

That’s two university assignments.

Haha

Andrew: Hi Vineeto,
Thanks for the reply. I was drunk, however, the inclination to post and cringe has been there in any state of mind.
Underneath it all, there is loneliness. However, practically, there was also the thought that this “post then cringe” pattern, which predates Actualism, indeed predates the internet itself.
I indeed woke up, after a long and sound sleep, and remembered that I had indeed “done it again”. The thoughts were less about the cringe this time, and more about the dynamic.
I don’t submit to the “socially reserved” ‘self’ protection that would express itself as not posting, but I do what the title of the thread says, I empower myself.
From one extreme to the other, with the same rebellious ideas powering the dynamic.
But, I saw that loneliness as the main driving factor. The desire for connection, the desire for conversation with actualists. The knowledge that despite the “cringe” it’s going to take a village for me to change.
That sounds just as pathetic to me as it surely does to others. However, is it not a fact that as of now, very few have had the individual fortitude the make it solo? (link)

Hi Andrew,

Thank you for your sincere reply.

Perhaps the prospect of “put everything on an ‘it-doesn’t-really-matter’ basis” was a bit too daunting for now. So for now, you return to the other of the two most potent techniques – i.e. being kind to yourself, being a friend to yourself.

Vineeto: I think the two most potent techniques at any stage in the process are

  1. being kind to yourself and
  2. put everything on an ‘it-doesn’t-really-matter’ basis. (Actualvineeto, Kuba 12, 21 Feb 2026).

Being a friend to yourself really needs to take foot in your psyche and become a constant habit, not only that you won’t put yourself down but also that you don’t doubt your own “individual fortitude the make it solo”. Some did “make it solo” and if they can, so can you.

Being a friend to yourself there is no need to feel lonely – you have been on your own and taken care of yourself almost all of your life. Sometimes there was/is enjoyable company, but the majority of your life you took care of yourself quite well on your own. And remember, loneliness is a feeling and a feeling is not a fact. So when you stop pushing it away or endorsing it (i.e. giving it affective energy), the feeling will change and make way for feeling good again.

Adam recently said it quite well –

Adam-H: It’s also clear to me how being my own best friend was missing.
It’s interesting that being your own best friend sort of has two meanings:

  1. don’t be hard on yourself for your mistakes
  2. actually want what’s best for yourself, meaning you won’t let yourself ruin your own day (link).

He also reported another great insight –

Adam-H: I’ve been thinking of actualism in terms of two ‘modes of failure’. One is “can’t get back to feeling good” the other is “won’t get back to feeling good”. When it feels more like a “can’t” that’s the sign I’m deceiving myself and I need to dial up the ‘being my own best friend’ energy and get to a place where I can clearly recognize what feeling I am ‘being’. (link).

Andrew: Discussing the single most important thing to me is locked behind a screen. (link)

It takes time – being a genuine friend to yourself will eventually unlock your mysteries to yourself, and that’s when you can communicate it best.

Cheers Vineeto

PS: Don’t put too much stock in what your co-respondent says – he is presently on ‘Cloud Nine’ (link), an altered state of profound detachment, due to his extended Vipassana training. He presently does not reside where mere mortals live (link).

5 Likes

Thanks Vineeto,

I appreciate the time you take to read and respond so insightfully to this forum! It was a contemplation today that it is a privilege to have you responding to us here.

I often remind myself that actual freedom is what it says on the box! There is actual freedom! There is no responsibility or obligation to be a part of this forum, or anything like it.

I patted myself on the back for being sincere enough that you could read and comment on it. I was pushing into the ‘cringe’ to find out more about it. Turns out loneliness will indeed create all sorts of ‘cringe’, and it’s pleasant to simply have it out in the open. It helps me gather back my resolve to change.

On that note, I came across a fear when really wondering why I hadn’t just “pushed the button “. Considering that every actually free person who has written anything about their freedom has expressed “surprise “ that others haven’t also “stepped out of the real world “, I was also looking into it.

All the excuses. Well over a decade of reasons/excuses, it seemed that if I didn’t find a way to “cut to the chase” this will be the way it goes for me.

However, back to the fear. I felt that there was an aspect of fear around success in this ultimate quest. The fear was around what happened to Jesus.

Though I am no longer young man, I felt the hesitation to do anything which would put me in the crosshairs of the types which nailed him up (and the many like him, not only in his time, but in all times).

I saw this while thinking about the efforts made to stay anonymous by actually free people. I knew it was sensible, but the perspective involving the type of hatred those in power have for radical people, had not fully occurred to me. Further to that, was how I am afraid of them, of that hatred and blind murderous intent so often played out in the world towards new, and radical people looking to improve the world.

2 Likes

Andrew: Thanks Vineeto,
I appreciate the time you take to read and respond so insightfully to this forum! It was a contemplation today that it is a privilege to have you responding to us here.

Hi Andrew,

You are very welcome and it speaks for your perspicacity of your contemplation.

Andrew: I often remind myself that actual freedom is what it says on the box! There is actual freedom! There is no responsibility or obligation to be a part of this forum, or anything like it.

Here is the context where I used the term “no responsibility” –

Vineeto to Andrew: Here is a radical suggestion if you will – how about a legacy of becoming anonymous – being nobody in particular and living in delight and wonder, doing nothing really well. First you learn the skills of ‘being’ less, diminishing the demands of ‘me’ and of society at large.
Instead, you allow yourself to appreciate what is already here when ‘you’ are quiet, cherish what you see, the birds and the colours in the sky and the picturesque river, savour the sounds you hear, smell the scents in the air, feel the friendly balmy air of a summer evening.
Then, when you mastered the skills and joys of being nobody in particular, and it happens more and more of its own accord, it becomes an art of living and you let life live you. No demands, no responsibility, just sensibly taking care of necessities. Wouldn’t that be a legacy worth passing on for the benefit of everyone who cares to emulate it? (23 Feb 2026)

I was talking about the ‘self’-diminishing art of living, of being nobody in particular, where there are no demands and no responsibility in order to ‘be’ somebody. Of course, this also implies that you obey the legal laws and social protocols of the country you are living in.

Therefore, remember Richard’s warning, before you dismantle the social identity, and drop any responsibility or obligation which ‘you’ the feeling being perceives, that “it is an utterly fundamental proviso that pure intent be dedicatorily in place”. I am saying this because I know from experience how very cunning ‘I’ could be, possibly interpreting it as licentiousness, for instance.

Andrew: I patted myself on the back for being sincere enough that you could read and comment on it. I was pushing into the ‘cringe’ to find out more about it. Turns out loneliness will indeed create all sorts of ‘cringe’, and it’s pleasant to simply have it out in the open. It helps me gather back my resolve to change.

That is great – and that is also one aspect of what you later mentioned as “cut to the chase”. Now you know how to share without having to ‘cringe’ afterwards. Find out what happens when you acknowledge, that loneliness is merely a feeling and there is no obligation to fulfill this feeling’s demands.

Andrew: On that note, I came across a fear when really wondering why I hadn’t just “pushed the button”. Considering that every actually free person who has written anything about their freedom has expressed “surprise” that others haven’t also “stepped out of the real world”, I was also looking into it.

Whenever there is great fear when you contemplate ‘self-immolation, it means ‘I’, or dominant aspects of ‘me’, do at present not agree to ‘my’ demise. ‘I’ am dominating and don’t want to relinquish ‘my’ affective power. That’s why intent and affective attentiveness is so important to allow yourself to be drawn to the clarity and joy of being here and remove the various obstacles to enjoy being here. Being happy and harmless is the actualist’s tool to minimize ‘my’ strength and ‘my’ influence bit by bit, habits, beliefs and attitudes.

And being a friend to yourself is a significant technique to utilise to replace the habit of chastising yourself.

Andrew: All the excuses. Well over a decade of reasons/ excuses, it seemed that if I didn’t find a way to “cut to the chase” this will be the way it goes for me.

Aren’t you putting the bar to high and then demand yourself to jump? That’s not very friendly to yourself … and makes no sense either.

Andrew: However, back to the fear. I felt that there was an aspect of fear around success in this ultimate quest. The fear was around what happened to Jesus.

If you remember the prophecies in the bible, Jesus was predicted to be the Messiah, who was destined to deliver the Jews from the yoke of Roman domination. Of course, if you have a similar imagination about an actual freedom, you are in trouble!

Whenever you want to push for self-immolation before you are ready to joyfully acquiesce, you will possibly encounter immense fear and possibly altered states as the “doomsday straws” to prevent that. It may well mean you have not yet a solid base of being happy and harmless in an ongoing way, and are allowing your feelings to push you from one side to the other.

Andrew: Though I am no longer young man, I felt the hesitation to do anything which would put me in the crosshairs of the types which nailed him up (and the many like him, not only in his time, but in all times).

Ok, I think I understand you now. ‘Vineeto’ at some point had the atavistic fear of being burnt as a witch if ‘she’ stepped outside the norm.

‘Vineeto’ to Gary: The psychic world of divine and evil, with its atavistic feelings and psychic power structures, is not to be dismissed lightly. It is not a small thing we are doing, stepping out of ancient psychic history and leaving behind at least 3,500 years of recorded superstition and belief, hope for heaven and fear of hell. I encountered fears of being burnt as a witch, expelled from the tribe or starved to death – which in not so recent history were not just psychic imagined fears. These fears all seem to be woven as an ancient memory in our brain cells and are automatically triggered the moment one dares to steps out of the tribal, religious or social group one has belonged to.

Two things always helped me to overcome those fear-attacks – one was the obvious fact that feelings are not actual. Nobody is actually persecuting me or physically threatening me. The other thing is the understanding that I am deliberately and actively dismantling my very ‘self’, all of ‘who I think and feel I am’ and of course that will rock the boat, it wouldn’t be an actual change if it didn’t! Then, the journey becomes really thrilling … [Emphasis added]. (Vineeto, AF List, Gary, 3.8.2000)

Andrew: I saw this while thinking about the efforts made to stay anonymous by actually free people. (link)

You are mainly talking about Richard, I think, how he did not want his last name used publicly. It was mainly to protect those with the same last name from being drawn into any malicious acts of those ‘feeling beings’ threatened by the actual freedom Richard wrote about – as the ‘Mother of all Kerfuffles’ demonstrated – and people did indeed get quite malicious.

Andrew: I knew it was sensible, but the perspective involving the type of hatred those in power have for radical people, had not fully occurred to me. Further to that, was how I am afraid of them, of that hatred and blind murderous intent so often played out in the world towards new, and radical people looking to improve the world.

You are mixing two different topics – Richard talks about changing yourself, not society.

Richard: Astonishingly, I find that social change is unnecessary; I can live freely in the community as-it-is. (Richard’s Journal, Article 20).

‘Vineeto’ or ‘Peter’ never ever got into trouble with “those in power”, nor did Richard. Actual freedom is not a revolution in the sense of overthrowing “those in power” (as much as any rebel-rouser wants that to happen*)* – it is all about changing oneself; the happy and harmless vibes you will then automatically emanate may or may not entice people to do the same for themselves.

Richard: The only way societies will radically alter is by radical change on an individual level as it is individuals collectively who make society what it is.
And this is where actualism is pivotal as it must be borne in mind that the way children are raised is in accord with the prevailing wisdom of the time (currently in the form of values/ principles and morals/ ethics per favour the trickle-down effect of spiritual enlightenment/ mystical awakenment).
Thus it is the flow-on effect of the words and writings of an actual freedom from the human condition – as in practically anyone now being able to be as happy and as harmless (virtually free of both malice and sorrow and their antidotal pacifiers love and compassion) as is humanly possible – which is the most probable and realistic prospect, in the foreseeable future, for all of humankind … and which is why I stress the importance of a virtual freedom. (Richard, List D, No. 12, 27 Nov 2009).

Cheers Vineeto

1 Like

This really struck a chord with me! Indeed, I am fortunate that I do not live in a society waiting for a messiah! There are no prophets proclaiming there is a saviour coming!

Wow, I really did believe that fear was a real possibility! How bizarre! That my upbringing would have an entire scenario built around a culture which no long exists, and project that onto the culture I live in.

So I am not linking conversations back to my journal, I will continue there.

Cheers

Andrew

1 Like