Jesus Carlos Journal

Journals
41

This helps me understand how I am also doing this behaviour. It is as Richard put it

“ One sets them free of ‘my’ graceless demands … ‘my’ endless neediness born out of being alone in the world.”

I do in other ways. Obviously, I chose at some point to single out my mother’s style of demanding recognition as being particularly obnoxious, but I do this very thing in my own way.

The demand for recognition, especially when I am successful at something has always been strong. On the flip side, the demand to be acknowledged when I am doing badly, or failing.

This was a very eye opening theme the past year, learning about so called “cluster C” personality disorders, and that while I am most likely not clinical, I can recognise the pattern. This is when someone demands sympathy, and manipulation is based on playing to others sympathy.

That does give me a “break in the clouds “, being able to recognise that while I do this demanding of acknowledgment in a different way, it is no less obnoxious. I may have found ways to demand it that some people will tolerate, even enjoy giving such acknowledgment, but it’s not going to get me anywhere by ignoring the universality of this demand.

This has stopped the proliferation of my excuses and anger into multiple directions. Having this as the overarching premise, I can remember now that this trigger is essentially believing that I am better than others because I don’t do this demand for acknowledgement in one certain way (like my mother), but I am doing it all the same!

I read a couple of nights ago this;

Vineeto: Aggression – Besides physical attack, aggression has many more subtle nuances: blaming, resentment, verbal abuse, nagging, boredom, being the victim, arrogance, clever-clever, competition, self-destruction and revenge. I made use of this instinct for becoming free as a bloody-mindedness, persistence, not to ‘let the buggers get me down’ and refusal to run with the crowd.“

Vineeto – SC Instinctual Passions.

In other news, I booked an appointment with an Accountant, to sort out the practical things “under the carpet “.

Cheers

Andrew

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42

I wanted to move this here as a reminder. Especially this statement “your intelligence is manipulated and stifled by your affective faculty.” Because it is becoming increasingly clear to me that this is totally the case, and that making decisions dominated by any disturbed emotional state only produces bad results.

And I’d like to take this opportunity to share an update on my progress with the method. If it can be defined as progress, because in my experience it’s kind of a discontinuous progress. When it seems like I’ve already taken ten steps, I take six backwards, so in reality I’ve only taken four. But keep going.

Something I’ve noticed has been essential to this progress is paying special attention to my way of being with my partner. I began to put special emphasis on this after reading the feedback @Vineeto gave both @Kub933 and @claudiu regarding their definition of the primary motive that could drive their total commitment to peace on earth and trigger the process of their irrevocable psychic extinction. In both cases, it coincided with being able to give the closest person what they most longed for: a partner who is truly 100% considerate, attentive, and sincere. And I continue to find much fruit in channeling my emotional energies toward the most complete experience of intimacy possible with my partner. Knowing that if I achieve it there, I can achieve it with any other human being. And I recognize that this is something my psyche resists, as I face an old pattern that consists on the one hand of activating fear in the face of the possibility of rejection (this is where I have made the most progress, this fear is 99% eradicated) and on the other hand of activating boredom or disinterest to encourage a change of direction. In short, a cowardly escape plan to avoid committing 100%. What has happened in these months has been a slow progress in becoming aware of the resistances (often stagnant for several days) and thus, thanks to investigation (always trying to do it while feeling good), I have been able to deactivate them, gradually advancing toward that experience of ever-more fulfilling intimacy.

In short, the carrot that’s getting me to lower my defenses, release my controls, and activate my naiveté is the commitment to getting as close and intimate as possible to my partner. An important aspect I’ve been working on lately is eliminating all emotional dependence on her. Becoming immune, so to speak, to her emotional ups and downs. But with care that this doesn’t translate into a lack of empathy or emotional repression. The only way I detect to achieve this and avoid detours down other paths is to maintain a fine emotional attention (HAIETMOBA) moment by moment, trying to channel my varying states toward a sweet, peaceful, harmless, calm, joyful, and, last but not least, fun state. Because if this becomes serious, my old cowardly pattern of flight and seeking new distractions is reactivated.

I detect a second carrot: given the current global situation, the ongoing wars, the growing violence in Mexico, the possibility of the creation of military artificial intelligences that threaten our lives, and the growing awareness of the thousands of atrocities we humans have inflicted on one another, there is a growing urgency within me, a pressing need to do something radically significant as soon as possible that will contribute to true peace on earth. And I try to channel this kind of emotional pressure toward the only solution I currently detect as effective.

That’s all for my report, Joaquín (a Mexican joke, Joaquín is an old journalist and that’s how the reports given by his reporters on open television were closed).

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43

Vineeto to Pelagash: As I said above, a cognitive, rational decision to “simply do what’s sensible in a given situation” is not enough as your intelligence is manipulated and stifled by your affective faculty. Unless you acknowledge and recognize which feeling and what belief/ principle/ moral code is causing you to be “self-punishing”, this harmful attitude towards yourself will assert its dominance again and again. (7 July)

JesusCarlos: I wanted to move this here as a reminder. Especially this statement “your intelligence is manipulated and stifled by your affective faculty.” Because it is becoming increasingly clear to me that this is totally the case, and that making decisions dominated by any disturbed emotional state only produces bad results.
And I’d like to take this opportunity to share an update on my progress with the method. If it can be defined as progress, because in my experience it’s kind of a discontinuous progress. When it seems like I’ve already taken ten steps, I take six backwards, so in reality I’ve only taken four. But keep going.

Hi JesusCarlos,

Thank you for your progress report and excellent description how you go about it.

While it may look like “ten steps” forward and “six backwards”, from memory of my own experience it seems more likely that actualising one’s insights can sometimes be a gradual process because one is weening oneself off detrimental habits and attitudes by replacing it with propitious ones (for instance either to high expectations and habitually putting oneself down when you instead can enjoy observing yourself slowly but irrevocably changing and appreciate the sincerity, growing naiveté and increasing fun and confidence you gain.

After all, being naïve means liking yourself and liking others.

JesusCarlos: Something I’ve noticed has been essential to this progress is paying special attention to my way of being with my partner. I began to put special emphasis on this after reading the feedback Vineeto gave both Kuba and Claudiu regarding their definition of the primary motive that could drive their total commitment to peace on earth and trigger the process of their irrevocable psychic extinction.

I remember asking both Claudiu and Kuba the same question: “who or what do you want to give all of ‘yourself’ to?” Was this what you were referring to?

JesusCarlos: In both cases, it coincided with being able to give the closest person what they most longed for: a partner who is truly 100% considerate, attentive, and sincere. And I continue to find much fruit in channeling my emotional energies toward the most complete experience of intimacy possible with my partner. Knowing that if I achieve it there, I can achieve it with any other human being.

Whatever the case may be, you chose an excellent and delightful way “channeling my emotional energies toward the most complete experience of intimacy possible with my partner”. And because aiming for actual intimacy is an unendorsed, unsanctioned and unilateral pursuit, there is no demand or pressure on your partner to change in any way, even though an increased ability to be intimate may well entice and encourage her to similarly come out of hiding. It’s a win-win situation.

Richard: Look, the whole point of minimising both the malicious/ sorrowful feelings (the ‘bad’ feelings) and their antidotal loving/ compassionate feelings (the ‘good’ feelings) whilst maximising the felicitous/ innocuous feelings (the ‘congenial’ feelings) is to make for a potent combination when this untrammelled conviviality operates in conjunction with a naïve sensuosity – whereby one is both likeable and liking – such that the benevolence and benignity of pure intent may increasingly become dynamically enabled for one purpose and one purpose alone … to wit: for the already always existing peace-on-earth to become apparent, in this lifetime, as this flesh-and-blood body.
As your proposed making of a conscious effort to not pull back – and to allow yourself “to have a feeling of liking for others and show this feeling” (which is indeed “the same as expressing the feeling” of course) – is on track with “maximising the felicitous/ innocuous feelings (the ‘congenial’ feelings)” then here is an example of what that untrammelled conviviality could look like when translated into action. (Richard, List D, Martin, 6 Mar 2016).

JesusCarlos: And I recognize that this is something my psyche resists, as I face an old pattern that consists on the one hand of activating fear in the face of the possibility of rejection (this is where I have made the most progress, this fear is 99% eradicated) and on the other hand of activating boredom or disinterest to encourage a change of direction. In short, a cowardly escape plan to avoid committing 100%. What has happened in these months has been a slow progress in becoming aware of the resistances (often stagnant for several days) and thus, thanks to investigation (always trying to do it while feeling good), I have been able to deactivate them, gradually advancing toward that experience of ever-more fulfilling intimacy.

It great to hear you have greatly overcome the fear of rejection – naiveté, i.e. liking yourself and therefore liking others, is the best antidote for that. As for the occurrences of “resistances” along the way, this is only natural because intimacy is about having less and less to hide. And all ‘I’ ultimately want to hide is ‘me’, all ‘I’ want to avoid and distract from, is being exposed. Yet the wonderful, naïve, playful and fun experiences of an “ever-more fulfilling intimacy” when ‘I’ dare to be exposed provides the encouragement to dare a little more each time. You could call it catching two ‘carrots’ in one – the intimacy you long for and the vital interest in loss of ‘self’ – and with pure intent operating they are one and the same: the less dominant the ‘self’ the greater the intimacy.

JesusCarlos: In short, the carrot that’s getting me to lower my defenses, release my controls, and activate my naiveté is the commitment to getting as close and intimate as possible to my partner. An important aspect I’ve been working on lately is eliminating all emotional dependence on her. Becoming immune, so to speak, to her emotional ups and downs. But with care that this doesn’t translate into a lack of empathy or emotional repression. The only way I detect to achieve this and avoid detours down other paths is to maintain a fine emotional attention (HAIETMOBA) moment by moment, trying to channel my varying states toward a sweet, peaceful, harmless, calm, joyful, and, last but not least, fun state. Because if this becomes serious, my old cowardly pattern of flight and seeking new distractions is reactivated.

You probably noticed that the way to become more immune to “emotional ups and downs” – both yours and hers – is to be paying particular attention to the seductive lure of affectuous intimacy –

[Richard]: What did not get included in those second and third paragraphs, regarding feeling-being ‘Grace’ and her rigorous gradations, was ‘her’ oft-repeated observation – regarding the onset of the third stage, on that range of naïveness, where ‘her’ gradation of ‘great’ related to sweetness – about a bifurcation manifesting where the instinctual tendency/ temptation was to veer off in the direction of love and its affectuous intimacy (due to a self-centric attractiveness towards feeling affectionate) as contrasted to a conscious choice being required so as to somehow have that sweetness then segue into a naïve intimacy via what ‘she’ described as ‘richness’ and graded as ‘excellent’. (Richard, Abditorium, Intimacy, #Intimacyscale)

Just for fun, regarding your “because if this becomes serious …” here is a list of tools Richard employed to get ‘himself’ out of spiritual enlightenment, a far more serious predicament that nobody ever will need to get into –

Richard: Just so that there is no misunderstanding: what really worked, when the identity was that ‘Altered State Of Being’, was
(1) a continuation of the totally dedicated and/or devoted pure intent to evince what the PCE’s evidenced … and
(2) a furtherance of the irreversible momentum, or inevitability, already set in place on day one as the process is, essentially, that of escaping from one’s fate and attaining to one’s destiny … and
(3) a prolongation of the attentiveness as to how the only moment of being alive was experienced … and
(4) an utter lack of dignity in being so far up oneself (narcissistic) as to render the term ‘egotistical’ a mere bagatelle in comparison … and
(5) a sense of humour which, if nothing else, made possible
(6) a delightful resurgence of the earlier felicity/ innocuity which again brought about, in combination with sensuousness, an outstandingly ingenuous sense of amazement, marvel and wonder.
And it was that last-named – the wide-eyed wonder of naiveté – which resulted in apperceptiveness (unmediated perception). (Richard, AF List, No. 60f, 29 Sep 2005).

JesusCarlos: I detect a second carrot: given the current global situation, the ongoing wars, the growing violence in Mexico, the possibility of the creation of military artificial intelligences that threaten our lives, and the growing awareness of the thousands of atrocities we humans have inflicted on one another, there is a growing urgency within me, a pressing need to do something radically significant as soon as possible that will contribute to true peace on earth. And I try to channel this kind of emotional pressure toward the only solution I currently detect as effective. (link)

Isn’t it wonderful that when you dare to care to be naïvely open and intimate with one fellow human being (your partner) you can’t help but be also more caring about the plight of others and “the global situation”. As you said in your second paragraph – “knowing that if I achieve it there [with my partner], I can achieve it with any other human being.”

Cheers Vineeto

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Yes! Exactly, and I remember that it wasn´t very obvious or clear for them at the beggining, but thanks to your retro they were able to acknowledge it. If I’m not wrong, their answers also included my “second carrot” (humanity), wich, in my perspective, first comes in a more intelectual way until you experience it visceraly after touching naivete thanks to intimacy with some specific being in your life. But well, this can be different with each one.

True :slight_smile:

Yes! And I’m having a little trouble here, understanding more clearly the distinction between that sweetness and the “direction of love and its affectuos intimacy (due to a self-centric attractiveness towards feeling affectionate)”. Maybe a good paramether is to detect that sweetness doesn’t requiere a retribution, it’s all in itself, and love always require payment in back. Am I correct?

Lol! Don’t know if I get this one right (sometimes I have difficulties in the translation to spanish, my mother tongue), but it means something like lossing all fear or shame of being as one is and letting others see that, despite the risk of being classified as what in modern psychiatric terms means total narcissism? Of course I understand it doesn’t mean let passionate impulses run free across the meadow. It refers rather to allowing oneself to think about one’s own well-being in absolute terms, regardless of the desires or whims of others.

Thank you so much for the full quote. I didn’t know it before. It’s wonderful, especially considering how difficult it was for Richard to emerge from enlightenment.

And as always, thank you so much for your retro and support V. It is invaluable.

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Vineeto: I remember asking both Claudiu and Kuba the same question: “who or what do you want to give all of ‘yourself’ to?” Was this what you were referring to?

JesusCarlos: Yes! Exactly, and I remember that it wasn´t very obvious or clear for them at the beginning, but thanks to your retro they were able to acknowledge it. If I’m not wrong, their answers also included my “second carrot” (humanity), which, in my perspective, first comes in a more intellectual way until you experience it viscerally after touching naivete thanks to intimacy with some specific being in your life. But well, this can be different with each one.

Hi JesusCarlos,

I find it curious that your term “carrot” (as in carrot and stick) designates you more as a donkey responding to reward and punishment rather than a sensate, sensitive, intelligent human being motivated by pure intent – that which is outside the human condition – and as such outside the dichotomy of desire and fear and all of the instinctual survival passions.

My question to Claudiu and Kuba and to all who want to be actually free from the human condition was aimed at discovering for themselves what is outside of ‘me’, more precious[1] than what ‘I’ hold most dear – ‘my’ self, ‘my’ presence, ‘my’ self-centric importance, something for which ‘I’ am willing to agree to ‘my’ extinction.

[1] There is something precious in living itself. Something beyond compare. (Richard, Selected Writing, Universe, #precious)

Regarding your question to what you call your “second carrot” I already replied when I said “you can’t help but be also more caring about the plight of others and “the global situation””. Sincerely and emphatically caring about all the wars and murders and suicides and domestic violence gives you plenty of reason to dare going all the way, for the benefit of this flesh-and-blood body JesusCarlos and that body, your partner’s flesh-and-blood body, and everybody.

Vineeto: You probably noticed that the way to become more immune to “emotional ups and downs” – both yours and hers – is to be paying particular attention to the seductive lure of affectuous intimacy –

JesusCarlos: Yes! And I’m having a little trouble here, understanding more clearly the distinction between that sweetness and the “direction of love and its affectuous intimacy (due to a self-centric attractiveness towards feeling affectionate)”. Maybe a good parameter is to detect that sweetness doesn’t require a retribution, it’s all in itself, and love always require payment in back. Am I correct?

You probably meant reciprocity because “retribution” means punishment, justice, revenge and tit-for-tat. I agree that love, unless it’s the delusional state of Love Agape, requires mutualness and possessiveness to maintain itself because being a feeling it requires affirmation and confirmation. Whereas when you experience the felicitous advent of naïve intimacy and delight in the pervasive proximity, or immanence, of the other, this very experience is fulfilling in itself and this intimacy is autonomous and unilateral.

Richard: (4) an utter lack of dignity in being so far up oneself (narcissistic) as to render the term ‘egotistical’ a mere bagatelle in comparison … and

JesusCarlos: Lol! Don’t know if I get this one right (sometimes I have difficulties in the translation to spanish, my mother tongue), but it means something like losing all fear or shame of being as one is and letting others see that, despite the risk of being classified as what in modern psychiatric terms means total narcissism? Of course I understand it doesn’t mean let passionate impulses run free across the meadow. It refers rather to allowing oneself to think about one’s own well-being in absolute terms, regardless of the desires or whims of others.

You have to remember that Richard in the above quote was referring to a fully deluded enlightened ‘being’. Hence what he described was that ‘he’ then gradually recognized the utter ridiculousness of upholding ‘his’ dignity in the light of the narcissistic nature of his passionate feelings of grandeur – being the Absolute and thus the latest saviour of humankind.

It does not mean “losing all fear or shame of being as one is and letting others see that, despite the risk of being classified as what in modern psychiatric terms means total narcissism” [Narcissism: self-love, extreme vanity; narcissist: an excessively self-admiring person]. (Oxford Dictionary).

A sincere actualist will not be a narcissist.

What it can mean for you, practically, is to recognize that whatever your egocentric good and bad feelings – such as feelings of pride/ humility, self-importance, feeling hurt/ insulted – want you to believe, acknowledge that they are just feelings and not facts – and when you are back to feeling good you can verify this fact for yourself and move in the direction of being less ‘self’-centric. For instance –

egocentricity: ‘Holding the view that the ego is the norm of all experience; viewed or perceived from one’s own mind as a centre; assessing people via the filter of one’s own ego (also ‘ethnocentric’: judging people through a belief in the superiority and rightness of one’s own ethnic group; racism; nationalism). Oxford Dictionary
I am using the word egocentric – ‘viewed or perceived from one’s own mind as a centre’ (The American Heritage® Dictionary) – in the same way as ‘ethnocentric’ is used:
• ethnocentric: centred on one’s own race or ethnic group; based on or characterised by a tendency to evaluate other races or groups by criteria specific to one’s own; having assumptions or preconceptions originating in the standards, customs, etc., of one’s own race or group. (Oxford Dictionary). (Richard, Abditorium, e, #Egocentricity)

It is rather the last two points (5) and (6) which are applicable for everyone – a sense of humour and “a delightful resurgence of the earlier felicity/ innocuity which again brought about, in combination with sensuousness, an outstandingly ingenuous sense of amazement, marvel and wonder”.

JesusCarlos: Thank you so much for the full quote. I didn’t know it before. It’s wonderful, especially considering how difficult it was for Richard to emerge from enlightenment.
And as always, thank you so much for your retro and support V. It is invaluable. (link)

You are very welcome. I posted the quote more for fun and historic reference. It was indeed extremely difficult to emerge from enlightenment but now a precedent has been set so that nobody needs to follow in Richard’s footsteps, and the danger of becoming fully deluded could well have disappeared from the horizon.

Cheers Vineeto

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Okay! That was a bad metaphor. Maybe I used it because in my local context, we use it more simply to refer to what motivates us. It also made sense to me because it also refers to something that isn’t me, but comes from outside and pulls me, calls me, attracts me, etc.

Yes, that is my experience, I think that the confusion arises when there is a loss of connection with pure intent and I search in the wrong direction.

Got it. I understand better now. Thanks!

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Vineeto: I find it curious that your term “carrot” (as in carrot and stick) designates you more as a donkey responding to reward and punishment rather than a sensate, sensitive, intelligent human being motivated by pure intent – that which is outside the human condition – and as such outside the dichotomy of desire and fear and all of the instinctual survival passions

JesusCarlos: Okay! That was a bad metaphor. Maybe I used it because in my local context, we use it more simply to refer to what motivates us. It also made sense to me because it also refers to something that isn’t me, but comes from outside and pulls me, calls me, attracts me, etc.

Hi Jesus Carlos,

I am pleased to hear that the “carrot” you are referring to is clearly “something that isn’t me”.

Vineeto: Whereas when you experience the felicitous advent of naïve intimacy and delight in the pervasive proximity, or immanence, of the other, this very experience is fulfilling in itself and this intimacy is autonomous and unilateral.

JesusCarlos: Yes, that is my experience, I think that the confusion arises when there is a loss of connection with pure intent and I search in the wrong direction.

Ha, that is the habitual reaction to the feeling regarding the “loss of connection” – now that you are aware of searching in the wrong direction you can easily rectify it.

Vineeto: A sincere actualist will not be a narcissist.

The reason I said that “a sincere actualist will not be a narcissist” and not “a sincere actualist will never be a narcissist” is because Richard in is enlightened state was both. That is because for ‘him’, being the first, going through enlightenment was the only way, and no-one needs to follow ‘his’ footsteps in that regard.

Vineeto: What it can mean for you, practically, is to recognize that whatever your egocentric good and bad feelings – such as feelings of pride/ humility, self-importance, feeling hurt/ insulted – want you to believe, acknowledge that they are just feelings and not facts – and when you are back to feeling good you can verify this fact for yourself and move in the direction of being less ‘self’-centric.

JesusCarlos: Got it. I understand better now. Thanks! (link)

Excellent. You are very welcome. All seems to go swimmingly.

Cheers Vineeto

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48

Well, in general terms, I could say yes. Even two months ago, I was thinking I might have reached a stage of virtual freedom, since my feeling good was constant or very easily recovered after some episode. Let’s say that feeling good was becoming my baseline. But after a while, I began to notice that I was returning to a neutral feeling as a baseline. Trying to detect what caused this regression, I find that there are aspects of my identity that haven’t been fully resolved (I know there’s no total solution until the final extinction occurs). And some of them have narcissistic characteristics, such as an inflated sense of self-importance or the need for recognition (an aspect we’ve already discussed here). For example, certain (work-related) events occur in which if I’m not taken into account as I consider I should be taken into account for a decision, then I got upset or very upset, sometimes for some couple of hours (and had a recent event that lasted almost a day). The good news is that it takes me less and less time to detect it, recognize it, and turn it around. But I still see a need for more investigation to root out these reaction patterns and achieve a more stable baseline.

And something I keep in mind and try to achieve is the ability to experience a PCE without the need for certain conditions (the two PCEs I have recorded as such have been after taking psychotropic substances). For this I notice that I have a particularly difficulty going from feeling good to feeling excellent. And where I find right now the most effective way to get close to this is through the naivete that gets activated after the more intimacy is allowed with my partner. In those moments, several EIs or even EEs have emerged, but not yet PCEs.

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Vineeto: All seems to go swimmingly.

JesusCarlos: Well, in general terms, I could say yes. Even two months ago, I was thinking I might have reached a stage of virtual freedom, since my feeling good was constant or very easily recovered after some episode. Let’s say that feeling good was becoming my baseline. But after a while, I began to notice that I was returning to a neutral feeling as a baseline. Trying to detect what caused this regression, I find that there are aspects of my identity that haven’t been fully resolved (I know there’s no total solution until the final extinction occurs). And some of them have narcissistic characteristics, such as an inflated sense of self-importance or the need for recognition (an aspect we’ve already discussed here). For example, certain (work-related) events occur in which if I’m not taken into account as I consider I should be taken into account for a decision, then I got upset or very upset, sometimes for some couple of hours (and had a recent event that lasted almost a day). The good news is that it takes me less and less time to detect it, recognize it, and turn it around. But I still see a need for more investigation to root out these reaction patterns and achieve a more stable baseline.

Hi JesusCarlos,

This is certainly good news (that it takes less time to detect it) – it means your affective attentiveness is more and more continuously operating. I wondered if putting everything on a ‘it doesn’t matter basis’ might solve most of the problem of ‘self’-importance?

Richard: ‘There is no worry, no, but I am not too sure that this is because there is no ‘I’ … it is simply silly to worry as worrying does nothing whatsoever to get an event changed.
I correct – and thus improve – what can be corrected … according to a preference for creature comforts and ease of life-style. For example: if I can sit upon a cushion instead of the brick pavers of the patio I will … that is a preference. But if a cushion is not available it does not matter … I thoroughly enjoy being alive at this moment in eternal time and this place in infinite space irregardless of what is happening. I could be just as happy and harmless on bread and water in solitary confinement in some insalubrious penitentiary … but I would be pretty silly to act or behave in such a way as to occasion that outcome!
The ‘I’ that used to inhabit this body did everything possible that ‘I’ could do to blatantly imitate the actual in that ‘I’ endeavoured to be happy and harmless for as much as is humanly possible. This was achieved by putting everything on a ‘it doesn’t really matter’ basis. That is, ‘I’ would prefer people, things and events to be a particular way, but if it did not turn out like that … it did not really matter for it was only a preference. ‘I’ chose to no longer give other people – or the weather – the power to make ‘me’ angry … or irritated … or even peeved, if that was possible. (Richard, AF List, No. 7, 27 Jan 1999).

JesusCarlos: And something I keep in mind and try to achieve is the ability to experience a PCE without the need for certain conditions (the two PCEs I have recorded as such have been after taking psychotropic substances). For this I notice that I have a particularly difficulty going from feeling good to feeling excellent. And where I find right now the most effective way to get close to this is through the naivete that gets activated after the more intimacy is allowed with my partner. In those moments, several EIs or even EEs have emerged, but not yet PCEs. (link)

The answer in Frequent Questions (link) is to allow it to happen. When you feel good and want to feel excellent, just loosen the control a bit, then another bit, not letting yourself get distracted by worrying and allow a bit of naïveté to happen. From there marvelment and wonderment happen easily and appreciation for all this amazing happening will do the rest.

Richard: What I can say is this: as the many and various emotions/ passions are the same affective energy, at root, then directing all of that affective energy into being the felicitous/ innocuous feelings (that is, ‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being, which is ‘being’ itself), via minimisation of the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings and maximisation of the happy and harmless feelings, will have the effect of involuntarily radiating felicitous/ innocuous vibes and currents as a matter of course. [Emphasis added]. (Richard, List D, No. 25c, 29 Oct 2013)

Cheers Vineeto

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It’s Friday afternoon, and my partner is encouraged to give me feedback on my way of being and acting over the past week. Above all, she emphasizes that I’m like “absent.” Absorbed in my worries, too busy with my phone, not here and now. She rightly resents this. I receive it with discomfort but at the same time with openness, sticking to the facts: she’s right.

It’s Saturday, and since the day before, I’ve tried to abandon my worries and be here, with attentiveness. We hike through the forest until we reach a waterfall at the far end. We’re alone. After a period of relaxation, a moment of pure awareness occurs. I marvel at the stillness of the rock while the majestic curtain of water falls steadily. I mention this to her, and she makes a humorous comment that makes us laugh for a while. "Yes, it’s very still, but the water is also damaging it slowly.” We called her thought the “anti-zen” thought of doom. All this reminds me that perfection comes with a high dose of humor.

It’s Sunday and we’re at the cinema. We went to see the new “Dracula.” Two-thirds of the way through the film, I realize I’m feeling fear. But it has nothing to do with the film. Upon closer inspection, I realize it’s almost a panic attack. I think that if this feeling increases, I’ll either vomit, or run, or throw myself on the floor. But as best I can, I keep my hands in my pockets. I observe. Thoughts come and go, all of them doubts, fears, regarding actual freedom. What if this is just another manipulation? What if it’s an algorithm to program humans to no longer question anything and conform to the current regime? What if I become an inert robot by taking that step? What if @Vineeto is actually an agent of the Matrix? (that film had a deep impact on me in my youth), etc.

I clearly realize that these thoughts arise from an emotional reaction to the realization that my defense mechanisms cause suffering and aren’t truly necessary (saturday’s EE/PCE realization). And I can clearly see that they are a core part of my identity, but that eliminating them means eliminating all of me; just one part can’t go.

This insight increases my fear, almost to the point of terror. “My feelings are me, and I am my feelings”; “becoming my own best friend in this, isn’t something imposed on me, it’s something I choose for myself”; “This is for the good of humanity, it’s for its good, and for all the others I affect with my interactions, my absences”; “what is known is uncertain, uncertainty is the necessary step toward finding a solution”; “stick to the facts. What do the facts say? Don’t my interactions, my decisions, my will to fully be here improve when I really enjoy and appreciate this moment of being alive?” This last thought is the one that has the greatest impact on overcoming fear (because is not only a thought, is a connection with pure intent). I begin to experience a reduction of fear, recognizing that through facts, and not through my beliefs or daydreams, there is a clear and evident truth (paraphrasing René Descartes). The concrete experience of what is truly beneficial is the guide on this wide and wonderful path. Little by little, terror is replaced by the sweetness of this realization, which also awakens memories of my life in which I have always been searching for the final solution to my suffering.

At this point, the film’s plot (spoiler alert) connects with the emotional thread of my feelings and thoughts, and the acceptance of the main character’s death as an altruistic decision that frees others from his own burden makes even more sense. I’m amazed by this synchronicity.

The film ends. I’m not in a PCE, but in a kind of IE/EE, experiencing a lot of sweetness and intimacy. And I tell my partner what happened. Tears run. And I’m incredibly grateful with her for having the courage to tell me what she’d been noticing these past few days about my way of withdrawing from being here, as a defense mechanism. And that reminded me that what is the most important for me is to truly give all of myself to her, and to the rest of living human bodies.

I see what happened as a positive sign of progress, a kind of preparation for facing/understanding that wall of fear behind which freedom could lie. At least a virtual one.

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This is interesting. I see myself doing this quite often and I attribute it to meditation where one would look at things coming up only to see them go away and after that you were done. The idea of continuing into enjoyment and appreciation of being here seems counterintuitive from that perspective sometimes.

I’ve found over the years that quite often feeling bad will lead me to feeling good again because the feeling bad sucks so bad and is uncomfortable that not doing it just makes sense after a while and pushes you in the direction of feeling good again.

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JesusCarlos: It’s Friday afternoon, and my partner is encouraged to give me feedback on my way of being and acting over the past week. Above all, she emphasizes that I’m like “absent.” Absorbed in my worries, too busy with my phone, not here and now. She rightly resents this. I receive it with discomfort but at the same time with openness, sticking to the facts: she’s right.
It’s Saturday, and since the day before, I’ve tried to abandon my worries and be here, with attentiveness. We hike through the forest until we reach a waterfall at the far end. We’re alone. After a period of relaxation, a moment of pure awareness occurs. I marvel at the stillness of the rock while the majestic curtain of water falls steadily. I mention this to her, and she makes a humorous comment that makes us laugh for a while. "Yes, it’s very still, but the water is also damaging it slowly.” We called her thought the “anti-zen” thought of doom. All this reminds me that perfection comes with a high dose of humor.
It’s Sunday and we’re at the cinema. We went to see the new “Dracula.” Two-thirds of the way through the film, I realize I’m feeling fear. But it has nothing to do with the film. Upon closer inspection, I realize it’s almost a panic attack. I think that if this feeling increases, I’ll either vomit, or run, or throw myself on the floor. But as best I can, I keep my hands in my pockets. I observe. Thoughts come and go, all of them doubts, fears, regarding actual freedom. What if this is just another manipulation? What if it’s an algorithm to program humans to no longer question anything and conform to the current regime? What if I become an inert robot by taking that step? What if Vineeto is actually an agent of the Matrix? (that film had a deep impact on me in my youth), etc.

Hi Jesus Carlos,

I understand your fear but you are misled by your feelings. About three years before becoming free ‘Vineeto’ expressed a similar sentiment when ‘she’ said to Richard, “to me you represent death”. Richard laughed and then said “I’m just a bloke”. Today I can say the same thing to you – I am just an old woman. As you said above – “perfection comes with a high dose of humour”.

JesusCarlos: I clearly realize that these thoughts arise from an emotional reaction to the realization that my defence mechanisms cause suffering and aren’t truly necessary (Saturday’s EE/PCE realization). And I can clearly see that they are a core part of my identity, but that eliminating them means eliminating all of me; just one part can’t go.
This insight increases my fear, almost to the point of terror. “My feelings are me, and I am my feelings”; “becoming my own best friend in this, isn’t something imposed on me, it’s something I choose for myself”; “This is for the good of humanity, it’s for its good, and for all the others I affect with my interactions, my absences”; “what is known is uncertain, uncertainty is the necessary step toward finding a solution”; “stick to the facts. What do the facts say? Don’t my interactions, my decisions, my will to fully be here improve when I really enjoy and appreciate this moment of being alive?” This last thought is the one that has the greatest impact on overcoming fear (because is not only a thought, is a connection with pure intent). I begin to experience a reduction of fear, recognizing that through facts, and not through my beliefs or daydreams, there is a clear and evident truth (paraphrasing René Descartes). The concrete experience of what is truly beneficial is the guide on this wide and wonderful path. Little by little, terror is replaced by the sweetness of this realization, which also awakens memories of my life in which I have always been searching for the final solution to my suffering.

Have you ever thought that it might be the other way round, that your fear is created by ‘me’ wanting to force ‘me’ to do something ‘I’ am not ready to voluntarily do? In this case this is not pure intent informing you but passions pitched against each other in order to keep ‘me’ in existence.

JesusCarlos: At this point, the film’s plot (spoiler alert) connects with the emotional thread of my feelings and thoughts, and the acceptance of the main character’s death as an altruistic decision that frees others from his own burden makes even more sense. I’m amazed by this synchronicity.

I don’t know the film but this is not synchronicity but real-world sentimental fantasy for bitter-sweet feel-good effect.

JesusCarlos: The film ends. I’m not in a PCE, but in a kind of IE/EE, experiencing a lot of sweetness and intimacy. And I tell my partner what happened. Tears run. And I’m incredibly grateful with her for having the courage to tell me what she’d been noticing these past few days about my way of withdrawing from being here, as a defence mechanism. And that reminded me that what is the most important for me is to truly give all of myself to her, and to the rest of living human bodies.

As you describe well, the effect of this fantasy is that you feel grateful, not appreciative, towards your partner – which is a ‘good’ feeling not a felicitous/ innocuous feeling. You would be misleading yourself to compare that to pure intent and your aim to altruistically ‘self’-immolate for the benefit of this body (which does not die when ‘I’ become extinct), that body and every body.

JesusCarlos: I see what happened as a positive sign of progress, a kind of preparation for facing/ understanding that wall of fear behind which freedom could lie. At least a virtual one. (link)

Now to the main reason I am replying to your post – “understanding that wall of fear”. While one does experience fear in the process of becoming free, for instance, when there is resistance to admit to this or that aspect of the identity, and one certainly needs daring to persist, it is nevertheless important to understand that it is always a self-induced suffering. ‘I’ am feeding the fear, either by fighting against it or by wanting to have something immediately which needs a gentler more friendly approach, especially when it comes to ‘my’ extinction. Stand back and have a chuckle about the antics ‘I’ get up to and get back to feeling good.

Perhaps the following quote will make things clearer regarding “that wall of fear” –

RESPONDENT: I find it particularly interesting that with more recent experiences of becoming free, for example Peter, Vineeto, and others you’ve related – there was no wall of fear or dread. The process was ‘matter of fact,’ ‘simple,’ ‘easy.’
RICHARD: That is because they all became (newly) free via the well-publicised epoch-changing opening in human consciousness designated as the ‘direct route’ on the ‘A Long-Awaited Public Announcement’ web page on The Actual Freedom Trust website.
Here are the very first words on that web page:
• ‘The directors of The Actual Freedom Trust take great pleasure in making public knowledge of a direct route at the end of the wide and wondrous path (now both gentrified and rendered secure) to an actual freedom from the human condition – a down-to-earth manumission [from Latin manumittere, lit. ‘send out from one’s hand’, and meaning release from slavery; release from bondage or servitude; set free] hitherto only available dangerously via spiritual enlightenment/ mystical awakenment …’. (Long Awaited Announcement).
RESPONDENT: How can current actualists bypass such acute experiences of dread on the ‘path’ to freedom?
RICHARD: By tapping into pure intent – nowadays also personified in its feminine aspect (its masculine aspect became personified 30+ months after 1992) – hitherto only accessible via a PCE.
RESPONDENT: Are they [such acute experiences] merely an idiosyncrasy of different personalities, or are they tied to an approach or attitude?
RICHARD: Neither … they came about because (a) nobody had gone beyond spiritual enlightenment/ mystical awakenment before … and (b) the direct route (opened by Peter and Richard on the 29th of December, 2009) was yet to be forged back then.
RESPONDENT: Is there a strategy that can be utilized to bypass or minimize such experiences?
RICHARD: Yep … tapping into pure intent should do the trick nicely.
For instance:

#10876
From: richard.actualfreedom
Date: Sat Feb 4, 2012 12:16 am
Subject: Re: […] about two types of Actual Freedom
• [James] […] Is the pce necessary? ps: Is the pce necessary for pure intent to come out of this vast stillness?
• [Richard]: G’day James, Prior to 11.25 AM (AEDST) on Saturday, the 14th of November, 2009, a pure consciousness experience (PCE) was indeed necessary for pure intent – that benevolence and benignity of the vast and utter stillness of the universe itself – and the reason why a PCE was essential is reported/ described/ explained both on The Actual Freedom Trust website and in ‘Richard’s Journal’.
[…] what the feeling-being inhabiting this flesh-and-blood body all those years ago experienced as an ‘over-arching benevolence and benignity’ was experienced by the feeling-being ‘Peter’, on the 29th of December 2009, as [quote] ‘a sweetness that was palpable’ [endquote] and that ‘he’ was [quote] ‘literally being bathed in this sweetness’ [endquote]. […].
Other people have reported experiencing that over-arching benevolence and benignity as a palpable sweetness as well.
Pamela, for instance, spoke of it in those terms during the ten minutes or so immediately prior to the pivotal event/ the definitive moment when she became actually free of the instinctual passions/ the feeling-being formed thereof on the 27th of January 2010.
(On another occasion, about three weeks later, she reported experiencing it as being an ‘infinite tenderness’ of such a magnitude as to render her incoherent upon endeavouring to describe it to Vineeto).
Vineeto […snip…] has written of it, in a private email, as being ‘an overwhelming sweetness, so overwhelmingly sweet that tears were running down my face. At another time I experienced a tenderness so vast that I was speechless for a good time afterwards’.
I mention these reports so as to demonstrate that what the feeling-being inhabiting this flesh-and-blood body all those years ago experienced as an ‘over-arching benevolence and benignity’ may not necessarily be exactly the way others experience it. […]. (Message 10876, Richard, List D, James, 4 Feb 2012).

(Richard, List D, No. 25a, 25 May 2015)

The whole correspondence from 25 May 2015 is well-worth reading from the beginning because it drives the point home even more.

As you might have gathered by now, when you are a friend to yourself and look at/ sort out the various obstacles to being happy and harmless, enjoying and appreciating each moment of being alive, when you become more and more naïve, like yourself and others, then you can follow the wide and wondrous path of felicitous discoveries and appreciative amazement, then there is no need to get lost in the scary thicket of self-created fear, sorrow and bitter-sweet fantasy.

Then, following pure intent, one day the choice is so crystal-clear and irresistibly attractive, then the facts speak for themselves and inevitably trigger ‘my’ permission to the only obvious action which is not of ‘my’ doing.

Cheers Vineeto

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Hi Jesus Carlos and Vineeto,

I thought I would chime in on this one as I consider myself a bit of an expert on what is being discussed… Namely making the endeavour of becoming free a serious and sudorific business lol. It was quite amazing reading through Vineeto’s reply and essentially seeing myself over the past year, I think I ticked off all the boxes mentioned :laughing:

But I can wholly agree now, that there is no need for anything serious or sudorific in all of this. Perhaps I had to run head first at that wall enough times for this to click though.

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Actually this reminds me of when I received my BJJ black belt, which is considered quite a big thing in these circles. The tradition is that when one receives their black belt they give some kind of a speech, imparting wisdom on the students who one day wish to stand on that same pedestal.

So the other black belts at the ceremony gave all sorts of speeches, mostly centred around quite serious tenets, such as honour, loyalty, hard work etc.

When it was my turn all I could sincerely say was a very quick tip - “That the trick is to have fun”. And indeed this is what I did, those 10 years I spent training were not something like “sweat, blood and tears”. It was always great fun to engage with the challenge of mastering a craft.
I just could not agree that getting a BJJ black belt was a serious thing, or that any suffering was required.

So I wonder is this just another aspect of the “straight and narrow path”, a tenet which holds that suffering is required to succeed, that one’s success is predicated on how much pain they are willing to endure in the process etc. It certainly did not apply with regards to achieving the black belt, why should it be any different with actual freedom? Especially when the wide and wondrous path is one of enjoyment and appreciation.

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Thanks for your kind and detailed reply @Vineeto

This makes a lot of sense. And now I can see that in the last 2-3 weeks I’ve pushing myself to feel good when not. Or I have been reproaching myself for not being able to feel good in the midst of the sea of ​​difficulties I am facing now. So it makes sense to me to think that I caused that fear myself by trying despite everything to feel good, excellent, perfect and to become extinct.

Got it!

I didn’t realize it until I read it, and now I can see it clearly. It makes sense to me, especially because at that moment I felt very different than I did after the PCE a year ago. This time there was no lightness, but rather a kind of feeling of shock after the trauma, and with that feeling I fell into the trap of seeking shelter in good feelings…

Thanks to this feedback, I see that I need to further refine my differentiation between good feelings and happy, harmless feelings.

Of course! I can see that this way of wanting something immediately is an old, tantrum-like pattern of my personality. The other side of the coin, or the other extreme, is believing that achieving something will take forever, which turns me into a passive entity waiting for salvation.

:laughing:

Thanks for the “wall of fear” quote! I’ll read all the correspondence you mention. And I really appreciate this last summary of the method you’ve given me. I see that where I’m failing the most is in being a friend to myself. Especially this weekend, I was noticing that I don’t like myself, or that I’ve returned to that point I thought I’d overcome.

Thank you so much, @Vineeto . Your feedback helps me a lot to correct my course and avoid getting lost in more mazes.

Thanks, Kuba! It’s encouraging to read that something similar has happened to you and that you’ve been able to turn it around. Needless to say, I read your diary with great enthusiasm, because I often find details I had overlooked and I never cease to admire your increasing clarity. Keep going!

An ancient belief, both Christian and Buddhist! Perhaps older than religions themselves. And a mantra of today’s world, of meritocracy that justifies inequality between human beings.

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I laughed so hard reading this comment :slight_smile:

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JesusCarlos: Thanks for your kind and detailed reply Vineeto.

Vineeto: Have you ever thought that it might be the other way round, that your fear is created by ‘me’ wanting to force ‘me’ to do something ‘I’ am not ready to voluntarily do?

JesusCarlos: This makes a lot of sense. And now I can see that in the last 2-3 weeks I’ve pushing myself to feel good when not. Or I have been reproaching myself for not being able to feel good in the midst of the sea of ​​difficulties I am facing now. So it makes sense to me to think that I caused that fear myself by trying despite everything to feel good, excellent, perfect and to become extinct. (…)

Hi JesusCarlos,

You are welcome.

When you notice not feeling good, instead of “pushing myself to feel good”, stand still and let the feelings ebb away, perhaps go back before the trigger event until you get back to feeling good again. Then you can look at the cause which triggered the diminishment of feeling good. Here is what Chrono reported –

Chrono: Something I re-read a few days ago that helped immensely as well was tracing back to feeling good before the trigger which caused a diminishment in feeling good. That itself automatically restores feeling good and when look at the trigger after that, it amounts to almost nothing and easily seen as habitual. [Emphasis added]. (link)

Vineeto: I don’t know the film but this is not synchronicity but real-world sentimental fantasy for bitter-sweet feel-good effect.

JesusCarlos: I didn’t realize it until I read it, and now I can see it clearly. It makes sense to me, especially because at that moment I felt very different than I did after the PCE a year ago. This time there was no lightness, but rather a kind of feeling of shock after the trauma, and with that feeling I fell into the trap of seeking shelter in good feelings…
Thanks to this feedback, I see that I need to further refine my differentiation between good feelings and happy, harmless feelings.

I am pleased you can see that. Of course, one notices the bad feelings first, and now you can refine your attentiveness to distinguish “between good feelings and happy, harmless feelings”, which in normal-day parlance are lumped together in one category.

Vineeto: ‘I’ am feeding the fear, either by fighting against it or by wanting to have something immediately which needs a gentler more friendly approach, especially when it comes to ‘my’ extinction.

JesusCarlos: Of course! I can see that this way of wanting something immediately is an old, tantrum-like pattern of my personality. The other side of the coin, or the other extreme, is believing that achieving something will take forever, which turns me into a passive entity waiting for salvation.

Indeed. Here is how feeling-being ‘Vineeto’ put it –

‘Vineeto’: Expectation is certainly not the full description of my attitude towards extinction, obsession is a more appropriate word to use. It is one of the widespread spiritual requirements that one should not aspire, desire, expect but wait for the grace of Existence to grant fulfillment of one’s dreams. But as actualism is about the actual and not about some spurious feeling-state granted by some even more spurious Energy, I can be straight forward with wanting Actual Freedom, desiring it, expecting it to happen and doing everything I can to achieve it, just like people in the normal world aspire tangible, non-spiritual values like riches, a car, a position or a woman. What I mean is that I am the only person who can bring about my freedom from malice and sorrow and I am the only one who can rewire my brain to facilitate self-immolation. (Actualism, Vineeto, AF-List, Gary-b, 19.8.2000).

This recent exchange may also help –

Kuba: Which is to say that at the core of it there is no pre-set list of conditions which ‘I’ have to tick off as the ‘doer’ before felicity and innocuity is granted to ‘me’ – this is completely the wrong paradigm. It pre-supposes that felicity and innocuity is something that is granted as an end result of some kind of deterministic domino effect, all the while ‘I’ remain passive, waiting.
Vineeto: You put it well – this is the difference between actively taken life into your hands and changing yourself fundamentally, rather than following the reward/ punishment template and therefore passively wait for an authority, ‘mother nature’, karma or some supernatural force/ entity to capriciously dish out the rewards. In fact, this is one big difference between the straight and narrow path and the wide and wondrous path. (link)

It is useful to recognize the typical real-world affective paradigm of swinging from one side to its affective opposite while in actualism, when you get back to feeling good, you look for the third alternative using pure intent as your guide.

Vineeto: As you might have gathered by now, when you are a friend to yourself and look at/ sort out the various obstacles to being happy and harmless, enjoying and appreciating each moment of being alive, when you become more and more naïve, like yourself and others, then you can follow the wide and wondrous path of felicitous discoveries and appreciative amazement, then there is no need to get lost in the scary thicket of self-created fear, sorrow and bitter-sweet fantasy.
Then, following pure intent, one day the choice is so crystal-clear and irresistibly attractive, then the facts speak for themselves and inevitably trigger ‘my’ permission to the only obvious action which is not of ‘my’ doing.

JesusCarlos: Thanks for the “wall of fear” quote! I’ll read all the correspondence you mention.

It’s good to be up to date with the descriptions, reports and explanations about self-immolation because before the direct route was opened in January 2010 Richard had only his own path to an actual freedom to describe what happened for the first pioneer. It is a lot easier now to become actually free.

JesusCarlos: And I really appreciate this last summary of the method you’ve given me. I see that where I’m failing the most is in being a friend to myself. Especially this weekend, I was noticing that I don’t like myself, or that I’ve returned to that point I thought I’d overcome.
Thank you so much, Vineeto. Your feedback helps me a lot to correct my course and avoid getting lost in more mazes.

Indeed, being a friend to yourself is vital and helps you to uproot the detrimental habits of blaming and berating oneself, or others, being resentful, angry, lost or sad as reaction to unexpected events. Then naively enjoying and appreciating each moment of being alive comes more naturally, and you recognize you live in a friendly world, all the while imitating actuality as much as possible.

Kuba: So I wonder is this just another aspect of the “straight and narrow path”, a tenet which holds that suffering is required to succeed, that one’s success is predicated on how much pain they are willing to endure in the process etc. (link)

JesusCarlos: An ancient belief, both Christian and Buddhist! Perhaps older than religions themselves. And a mantra of today’s world, of meritocracy that justifies inequality between human beings. (link)

Here is a question for you – if meritocracy is the cause which “justifies inequality between human beings”, then why do you value the expertise, reports and explanations how to become actually free from those fellow human beings who have succeeded?

When you choose expertise and competence over ineptitude and incompetence then you choose merit over inadequacy (in a particular field). Whereas the “mantra of today’s world” is equality – ‘all are born equal’ – now cunningly renamed equity, which detrimental results of implementing this belief in law and regulations can be seen in many areas of human endeavour.

Note, Richard talked about “equity[1] and parity[2]”, for peace and harmony to flourish amongst human beings. (see The Formation and Persistence of the Social Identity, #04).

[1] Equity: the state, action or quality of even-handed dealing, even-handedness; fairness, justness; impartiality; unbiased;
[2] Parity: the state, action or quality of being on a par; an equivalence of status, level or value; correspondence, similarity;
(Adapted from Oxford Dictionary, see Neoteric Online Dictionary).

Richard: ‘It is important to remember, that when one questions a principle (such as equality) and its opposite (inequality) becomes obvious as a result of the question, that nothing has changed except that a belief has disappeared … inequality was always happening anyway. (Richard, List B, No. 37, 20 Mar 2000).

Cheers Vineeto

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This is a gem

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Some clarifications:

I didn’t say that meritocracy was the cause that “justifies inequality among human beings.” I think I needed to provide more context. Meritocracy is a rationale that seeks to allocate resources based on effort and merit. I have no problem with that. I was rather talking about meritocracy as an ideology used by some people in the real world here in Mexico, to justify why some have more than others. They attribute everything to individual effort and erase the true reasons why many people obtained certain resources: social status, class, inheritance, corruption, theft, plunder, violence, etc.

Of course, I value the testimonies of those who have succeeded in achieving actual freedom through their own merits, because it has nothing to do with anything other than their own merit and effort. In this case, the purpose suggested by meritocracy truly applies. That’s why, before writing that final statement, I was thanking @Kub933 for all his success and progress reports, which are very helpful to me.

My apologies, I wrote a problematic final sentence without being clear and without providing context. And I think there are aspects I need to analyze more closely, as to why I came to link one thing with another.

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JesusCarlos: An ancient belief, both Christian and Buddhist! Perhaps older than religions themselves. And a mantra of today’s world, of meritocracy that justifies inequality between human beings.

Vineeto: Here is a question for you – if meritocracy is the cause which “justifies inequality between human beings”, then why do you value the expertise, reports and explanations how to become actually free from those fellow human beings who have succeeded? (link)

JesusCarlos: I didn’t say that meritocracy was the cause that “justifies inequality among human beings.” I think I needed to provide more context. Meritocracy is a rationale that seeks to allocate resources based on effort and merit. I have no problem with that. I was rather talking about meritocracy as an ideology used by some people in the real world here in Mexico, to justify why some have more than others. They attribute everything to individual effort and erase the true reasons why many people obtained certain resources: social status, class, inheritance, corruption, theft, plunder, violence, etc.
Of course, I value the testimonies of those who have succeeded in achieving actual freedom through their own merits, because it has nothing to do with anything other than their own merit and effort. In this case, the purpose suggested by meritocracy truly applies. That’s why, before writing that final statement, I was thanking Kuba for all his success and progress reports, which are very helpful to me.
My apologies, I wrote a problematic final sentence without being clear and without providing context. And I think there are aspects I need to analyze more closely, as to why I came to link one thing with another. (link)

Hi JesusCarlos,

Thank you for your clarification.

Now that you provided the context, the ideological usage of the word, I do understand better what you meant. As you said, “meritocracy as an ideology used by some people in the real world” then you would be aware that other people would use ‘equality’ as an ideology to counteract the ideology of meritocracy and similarly make a hash of it. It is standard practice in the real world to cure one unpopular/ upsetting situation with its very opposite.

For actualism it may be more useful to make a distinction between expertise (based on knowledge, skill and/or lived experience) and an authority connected with power, including psychic power for you to come to your own conclusions. What other human beings do is their own business.

Richard: There are two meanings to the word ‘authority’ and the one that causes all the troubles is the one connected with power. (The power of the authority to enforce obedience; the power of the authority to enforce moral or legal judgements; the power of the authority to command or give the final decision; the power of the authority to control; the power of the authority of a governing body; the power of an authoritative holy book; the power of the authority to inspire belief and so on). The second – less used – meaning is: an expert on a particular subject. (Richard, Selected Correspondence, Authority and Expertise)

For equity and parity to flourish, one looks at and eventually abandons all principles, ideologies, beliefs, convictions, attitudes and concepts. (see The Formation and Persistence of the Social Identity, #04)

Cheers Vineeto

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