I wanted to move this here as a reminder. Especially this statement “your intelligence is manipulated and stifled by your affective faculty.” Because it is becoming increasingly clear to me that this is totally the case, and that making decisions dominated by any disturbed emotional state only produces bad results.
And I’d like to take this opportunity to share an update on my progress with the method. If it can be defined as progress, because in my experience it’s kind of a discontinuous progress. When it seems like I’ve already taken ten steps, I take six backwards, so in reality I’ve only taken four. But keep going.
Something I’ve noticed has been essential to this progress is paying special attention to my way of being with my partner. I began to put special emphasis on this after reading the feedback @Vineeto gave both @Kub933 and @claudiu regarding their definition of the primary motive that could drive their total commitment to peace on earth and trigger the process of their irrevocable psychic extinction. In both cases, it coincided with being able to give the closest person what they most longed for: a partner who is truly 100% considerate, attentive, and sincere. And I continue to find much fruit in channeling my emotional energies toward the most complete experience of intimacy possible with my partner. Knowing that if I achieve it there, I can achieve it with any other human being. And I recognize that this is something my psyche resists, as I face an old pattern that consists on the one hand of activating fear in the face of the possibility of rejection (this is where I have made the most progress, this fear is 99% eradicated) and on the other hand of activating boredom or disinterest to encourage a change of direction. In short, a cowardly escape plan to avoid committing 100%. What has happened in these months has been a slow progress in becoming aware of the resistances (often stagnant for several days) and thus, thanks to investigation (always trying to do it while feeling good), I have been able to deactivate them, gradually advancing toward that experience of ever-more fulfilling intimacy.
In short, the carrot that’s getting me to lower my defenses, release my controls, and activate my naiveté is the commitment to getting as close and intimate as possible to my partner. An important aspect I’ve been working on lately is eliminating all emotional dependence on her. Becoming immune, so to speak, to her emotional ups and downs. But with care that this doesn’t translate into a lack of empathy or emotional repression. The only way I detect to achieve this and avoid detours down other paths is to maintain a fine emotional attention (HAIETMOBA) moment by moment, trying to channel my varying states toward a sweet, peaceful, harmless, calm, joyful, and, last but not least, fun state. Because if this becomes serious, my old cowardly pattern of flight and seeking new distractions is reactivated.
I detect a second carrot: given the current global situation, the ongoing wars, the growing violence in Mexico, the possibility of the creation of military artificial intelligences that threaten our lives, and the growing awareness of the thousands of atrocities we humans have inflicted on one another, there is a growing urgency within me, a pressing need to do something radically significant as soon as possible that will contribute to true peace on earth. And I try to channel this kind of emotional pressure toward the only solution I currently detect as effective.
That’s all for my report, Joaquín (a Mexican joke, Joaquín is an old journalist and that’s how the reports given by his reporters on open television were closed).