Vineeto: Only you can know if to experience “the very infinitude of the universe itself”, which is “peerless (hence perfect)”, “marked by benevolence and benignity” is what you deeply and passionately care about to the point of ‘near-actual-caring’. This very ‘near-actual-caring’ will allow ‘you’ to gladly and unreservedly agree to ‘your’ irrevocable demise for the benefit of this body and every body.
Claudiu: I’ve managed to answer my own question and actually get a satisfying answer to the thought-out part too.
What I see now is that what I “deeply and passionately care about to the point of ‘near-actual-caring’” is everybody on this planet being able to experience that astounding perfection and purity of the infinitude of actuality. (…)
But yes I see the way it will happen, is via caring as much as I possibly can about this, to the point of not only actually wanting to do something about it, but actually doing something about it!
In other words it is this caring is the key… and now I know for sure what I can put all my energy behind :)))) (link)
Yes, this is exactly what is required – to “deeply and passionately care about to the point of ‘near-actual-caring’”, so much so that ‘you’, at the very core of your ‘being’, are gladly willing to give up what ‘you’ hold most dear – ‘your’ very existence.
This might make it apparent why a mere logically thought-out sequence of events can never provide the passionate energy required for such a radical happening as altruistic self-sacrifice.
Here is how feeling being ‘Vineeto’ experienced this acquiescence three days before ‘her’ final release happened –
Vineeto to Claudiu (22 Feb 25): I never forget that journey or the days which followed prior to ‘Vineeto’s’ final release – it was the best time of ‘her’ life and the whole time it was filled with this utter exuberant surety that ‘her’ end was imminent. This surety even operated during the 2-3 out-of-control days, which served well to elucidate that ‘she’ was ready to give up anything and everything ‘she’ had valued, for ‘her’ ultimate destiny. (Well, in practical terms it wasn’t as radical as imagined). (link)
To expand on ‘Vineeto’s’ experience “that ‘she’ was ready to give up anything and everything ‘she’ had valued” –
‘Vineeto’ had returned to the remote wilderness where the houseboats were moored (still under the frightening impression that Richard had a “split-personality mental disorder” (see Announcement1, #magic, [R]-tooltip, [1]) to pack ‘her’ office paraphernalia and other necessities into the dinghy to take to a temporary location elsewhere until ‘she’ knew what to do next. She met the other two mutineers a few hundred meters upstream, only to then be informed they wanted to disassociate themselves from the whole affair right then and there and would not take ‘her’ in their car. So ‘Vineeto’ found ‘herself’ abandoned at nowhere in that ancient rainforest, her belongings in the dinghy, which at that point had run out of petrol, and stark naked (as everyone was on their holiday).
Strangely enough, this last shocking turn of events, instead of freaking ‘her’ out, brought an unexpected calm, ‘she’ slipped into the warm water of the creek and, floating along, looked at the sky and her only thought was “if this is what it takes to become actually free so be it.” (During the 2-3 out-of-control days, although ‘she’ questioned Richard’s state of mind ‘she’ never doubted his words written on the website, nor the PCEs nor ‘her’ intent to become actually free despite the emotional turmoil).
The last turn of events resulted in a surprising peacefulness after the emotion-filled events of the last two-and-a-half days – no more struggle, only the full permission and endorsement to let the universe run ‘her’ life, as all ‘she’ had tried had come to naught.
‘She’ eventually made it back to the houseboats, towed by two roaming fishermen (there was no room to be self-conscious then) yet it took another few hours to gather the courage to talk to Richard about the whys and wherefores of what happened – by this time not knowing anymore if Richard was insane or ‘she’ ‘herself’ had lost the plot completely. In hindsight it was all utterly hilarious.
As you can see the build-up to self-immolation can be quite dramatic at times.
Outside is a wonderful almost wind-still night, a clear sky with a close-to-full moon, so calm and quiet as if the storm of the last week never happened, only the fish are jumping vivaciously, most likely to rid themselves of flees accumulated at this time of the year. Magnificence all around.
Cheers Vineeto