Continuing the theme from @Kub933 and @claudiu ’s journals, I have been investigating my own motivations while continuing to allow pure intent ever-greater influence, with wonderful results.
It has recently become clear to me that my primary obstacle has been a lack of courage in the face of humanity, a fundamental fear of ‘what would happen to me’ if my true views were exposed. It’s now clear that that fear is of ‘me’ being exposed rather than doubt about the PCE or the actually free state, meaning that it is ultimately circular in nature (I am afraid because I am afraid). Because of the nonsensical nature of this position, as well as the apparent ubiquity of same position amongst my fellow humans, I have experienced a surge in motivation to free myself and everyone from this condition, consequences be damned. This audacity is experiential and obvious in its contrast to my habitually flinching character. It isn’t only me that has been holding back and putting on airs; it is also my friends, my lovers, my family, and all those that I have looked up to, pursued, or imitated throughout my life.
I appreciate especially @Vineeto ’s recent post describing the events of the ‘mutiny’ from ‘her’ perspective, as it gave me a healthy dose of naïveté and a reminder of the simplicity and clarity of freedom as contrasted with my complex and confused nature.
I can no longer ignore the man behind the curtain.