Sonya: Hi Vineeto,
Your explanation of the different layers of the identity is really helpful for me to understand. I’m quite a visual learner so the description of the different layers of instinctual passions and social identity made me immediately think of an ‘identity onion’ made of those different layers.
Hi Sonya,
This is a good equivalent. I have other actualists seen describe their process as peeling the onion to get to the core. It’s all about becoming aware, each moment again, how you experience being alive. When there is a dip in feeling good, you can look at what caused it (the top layer of the onion) and then consciously recognize that’s it’s silly to let such an event interfere with feeling good.
Sometimes a ‘problem’ can be a sticky, so to speak, and that is generally because of a certain belief or principle or attitude you have adopted as ‘right’ or ‘just’ or ‘true’ – you can then discuss this with yourself, or with another actualist, if it really makes sense to keep this belief/ attitude/ principle and thus allow it to interfere with your intent of enjoying being here.
However, before you start ‘peeling’ away the societal/ cultural conditioning it is imperative that at minimum a sincere intent to be happy and harmless be dedicatorily in place because this social conditioning is otherwise essential to keep the instinctual passions in check (link). Kuba might be able to help whenever you are not sure.
Vineeto: I do suspect you have a very vague memory of one or more PCEs …
Sonya: That would be cool to remember! I think for now what I’ve been grasping to is small glimmers of peaceful/ content moments I find myself experiencing that tend to make me pause for a moment to take it in. Usually when I’m eating something nice or cuddling with Kuba. Those are great for now.
This link may be helpful (link) for getting closer to a PCE. Perhaps it’s a good idea, as Kuba suggested (link), to look for a resistance or hesitation regarding a PCE because the implications can seem too much. But you seem to be a woman of courage and determination, and you have already succeeded in overcoming some of your fears by facing them. As you said, “it’s funny cause once I’m actually doing ‘it’, it’s never as scary”. (link)
Vineeto: You can read Richard’s article on This Moment of Being Alive (link) for detailed instructions and ask me if anything is not clear to you.
Sonya: I’m going to give it a go. Thanks for offering to clarify! (link)
Here is an interesting correspondence you may relate to –
Respondent: I don’t understand the AF method instructions.
Richard: The actualism method is remarkably simple in practice:
• [Richard]: ‘It is really very, very simple (which is possibly why it has never been discovered before this): one felt good previously; one is not feeling good now; something happened to one to end that felicitous feeling; one finds out what happened; one sees how silly that is (no matter what it was); one is once more feeling good’. (Richard, AF List, No. 71, 9 July 2004b).
Respondent: I can’t remember a PCE either …
Richard: As your [quote] ‘either’ [endquote] links the lack of remembrance of a pure consciousness experience (PCE) with not understanding the essence of the way I have previously described the workings of the actualism method it is pertinent to point out that such is not initially necessary in order to feel as felicitous/ innocuous as is possible whilst one goes about one’s everyday life. [Emphasis added]. (Richard, List AF, No. 79, 21 June 2005)
Kuba: It seems to me that you are right at that point where – “one can stay quiescent no longer”. You just need to locate what it is exactly that you are aiming for (where you have been proceeding anyways).
Sonya to Kuba: I had to google what quiescent meant but yes, that’s exactly how I feel. It just really hit me when doing our wedding stuff yesterday that what I want most in this world is to be happy and harmless with you 24 hours a day 7 days a week. That’s a really really big motivator for me. We are legally making a commitment to ‘join’ our lives together so why am I not making the commitment to live life with you in the most fun, exciting, wholesome, fulfilling way? I can really see now that that is what I want, more than anything. For now, without the memory of a PCE that desire is what I’m holding on to. (link)
Ah, Sonya, this is wonderful to read. It so reminds me how, when feeling being ‘Vineeto’ met ‘Peter’ the first time, ‘he’ proposed to want to live together in peace and harmony and with honesty look at everything which got in the way of this aim. ‘Vineeto’ thought ‘she’ never heard a more attractive proposal and agreed. ‘We’ had great fun together, to put it mildly. Peter described it in his journal (link).
Besides, with a commitment to be “happy and harmless with you [Kuba] 24 hours a day 7 days a week” you cannot fail having a PCE sooner or later.
Cheers Vineeto