Didn’t realise how long it has been since I last wrote on here. Lately, I’ve been kinda stuck I guess. These are the things I’ve been really struggling with:
- Feeling like there’s something intrinsicly ‘wrong’ with me.
- Being scared of failing.
Both of these things means that I am a person that struggles to do things on my own. I never really think that I can do anything on my own. I usually rely on someone else encouraging me or holding my hand through it. For example, I’ve always wanted to start going to heels dance classes. But I couldn’t go on my own, I had to go with a friend. Or learning how to drive a manual car, I needed encouragement from Kuba. I struggle with the initial leap into doing something ‘scary’. It’s funny cause once im actually doing ‘it’, it’s never as scary. Now I go to classes on my own (even new ones, I also made new friends!) and I passed my driving test the first time as well as driving to London on my own multiple times. I know logically I have the capacity to do things, I guess I just always seem to want to make sure it’s ‘safe’ to do so first.
So, regarding putting in the work in being happy and harmless. I’m really struggling lately to take it a step further. So here is my little tiny step im doing on my own so I can go further into this adventure into living what I really want deep down.