Kub933's Journal

[Kub933]

I’ll have a go at this in the meantime

“You have all the time in the universe” is referring specifically to one’s experience as a flesh and blood body only, one exists where time has no duration. It is impossible to ever ‘run out of time’ as time does not move in actuality.

Whereas as an identity ‘I’ am locked out of eternal time and instead ‘I’ exist precariously across the past, present and future. This is where ‘I’ am always managing, anticipating and running out of time.

As it is always this moment, this body does not move through time like the identity moves across the past, present and future. Rather this body exists securely in eternal time.
In eternal time there is no distance to be travelled between ‘then’ and ‘now’ as the immediate is the ultimate, whereas ‘I’ am forever shifting between these thin slivers of ‘real time’, desperately trying to hold, manage and anticipate each one.

I think I have just answered in part my own question - of why is it that where time has no duration there is such safety. Because all this painful psychological/psychic activity which comes from ‘managing time’ (whilst being forever locked out of actual time) ceases when one exists in eternal time. Everything is in it’s place already as one is not actually going anywhere or coming from somewhere.

[scout]

interesting, i’ve had experiences on psychedelics where psychological time ceased to exist as i’d previously known it, as well as the anxiety around it - but there was still change and a direction to change. there was no longer anticipation or anxiety surrounding where that change was leading, just presence

is that the “eternity” @Vineeto and richard discuss? time is not a concern or even really felt because the mind stops creating a past or future. but there is still always the change and there is only so much change i will experience before all experience ends

but maybe that doesn’t matter when i’m not worried about what’s not happening now. the sense of the “clock ticking” is mostly just fear yeah?

[Vineeto]

Kuba: Wow yes I saw this just a few minutes ago, I was getting ready and looking in the mirror. I saw that where this body exists time has no duration, there is such an incredible safety to this. Whereas where ‘I’ exist, across past, present and future it is so precarious. It was so clear experientially that nothing could ever go wrong where time has no duration and yet intellectually ‘I’ cannot quite wrap ‘my’ mind around why.
This is incredible because I could never quite grasp the eternity of time, space was somehow easier to comprehend and I previously glimpsed that the space of this universe is infinite, as in having no edges and no outside.
But to comprehend that this moment is eternal, that time has no duration means finding something that exists outside of the real world time span altogether. It does not fit in with any descriptions revolving around the past, present and future because it exists outside of that construct altogether. It is in itself the actuality ascertained apperceptively and it is beyond wonderful!
It reminds me of Geoffrey writing that ‘he’ saw the ‘known way’ as the dangerous and the unknown way as safe, ‘I’ am the danger, where ‘I’ exist precariously across past, present and future. This body exists so safely where time has no duration.

Hi Kuba,

This is truly wonderful, “beyond wonderful”.

The way feeling being ‘Vineeto’ eventually understood actual time was to compare it to space – an arena, like a large football field, where events happen but the field always remains. Actual time is the arena, events happen and ‘I’, being emotional/instinctually engaged with the events, take them for time itself. Because ‘I’ do know that this body was born and will die one day, and ‘I’ desperately yearn for permanency, for immortality … ‘I’ am too important to ever not be here.

Yet once ‘I’ go in abeyance it is patently obvious that ‘I’ am not the centre around which everything revolves but that there is this wide open actuality, infinite and eternal and utterly still and real-world time has no existence. And utterly safe and still.

Kuba: This is yet another reason why actualism is experiential because all words have been invented by feeling beings and therefore on their own they cannot quite convey actuality, they will simply go around in circles and never reveal the actual nature of this universe.
Eternal will be taken to mean a very long lapse of time or infinite a very long stretch of space and yet the actual experience of infinitude is outside of those descriptions.
All of those real world descriptions still infer some ultimate movement/distance to time/space. Whereas actual time and space exist within the stillness of infinitude.
Even writing the word “within” seems to screw it up As in that stillness is the very infinite and eternal nature of this universe. (Kub933's Journal - #1221 by Kub933)

Yes, I had the same thought when I read it – the word “within” didn’t seem to be quite right and then your last sentence expressed it exactly. Only someone experiencing (or having experienced) actuality can say this with utter confidence. It is indeed experiential.

Scout: May I ask – what does this mean? It feels directly in opposition to the Richard quote you shared in Henry’s thread about moments being finite and constantly running out, which makes them infinitely precious and relays the urgency of not wasting time on suffering.

Kuba: I’ll have a go at this in the meantime
“You have all the time in the universe” is referring specifically to one’s experience as a flesh and blood body only, one exists where time has no duration. It is impossible to ever ‘run out of time’ as time does not move in actuality.
Whereas as an identity ‘I’ am locked out of eternal time and instead ‘I’ exist precariously across the past, present and future. This is where ‘I’ am always managing, anticipating and running out of time.
As it is always this moment, this body does not move through time like the identity moves across the past, present and future. Rather this body exists securely in eternal time.
In eternal time there is no distance to be travelled between ‘then’ and ‘now’ as the immediate is the ultimate, whereas ‘I’ am forever shifting between these thin slivers of ‘real time’, desperately trying to hold, manage and anticipate each one.
I think I have just answered in part my own question – of why is it that where time has no duration there is such safety. Because all this painful psychological/psychic activity which comes from ‘managing time’ (whilst being forever locked out of actual time) ceases when one exists in eternal time. Everything is in its place already as one is not actually going anywhere or coming from somewhere. Kub933's Journal - #1224 by Kub933

Yes, one can never run out of time in actuality, it is always now, and I am always here and the universe being perfect and pure everything is already perfect.

To answer Scout’s question more in detail, here is a quote from Richard’s journal –

Richard: Yet time is as intimate as this body being here now at this moment. It is so intimate that I – as a body only – am not separate from it. Whereas ‘I’, as a human ‘being’, have separated ‘myself’ from eternal time by being an entity. To be an ontological ‘being’ is to mistakenly take this body being here as containing an ‘I’, a psychological or psychic entity. To ‘be’ is to take this moment of being alive personally … as being proof of ‘my’ subjective existence. ‘I’ am an illusion; if ‘I’ think and feel that ‘I’ do exist, then ‘I’ am outside of eternal time. ‘I’ am forever complaining that there is ‘not enough hours in the day’, or ‘I am always running out of time’, or ‘I am always catching up with time’, or ‘I am always behind time’. All this activity is considered ‘normal’, as it is the common experience of humankind. (Richard’s Journal, Chapter Sixteen).

Cheers Vineeto

[Vineeto]

@scout

interesting, i’ve had experiences on psychedelics where psychological time ceased to exist as i’d previously known it, as well as the anxiety around it - but there was still change and a direction to change. there was no longer anticipation or anxiety surrounding where that change was leading, just presence

is that the “eternity” @Vineeto and richard discuss? time is not a concern or even really felt because the mind stops creating a past or future. but there is still always the change and there is only so much change i will experience before all experience ends

but maybe that doesn’t matter when i’m not worried about what’s not happening now. the sense of the “clock ticking” is mostly just fear yeah?

Hi @Scout,
You cannot think your way into this, it is indeed experiential.

Have you ever experienced that when you are feeling good, time seems to fly while when you are sad or worried time seems to go on forever?

This is a perfect example of ‘personal’ time, it’s all coloured by ‘me’, how ‘I’ feel, what ‘I’ want (or don’t want).

Contemplate just this sentence: “To ‘be’ is to take this moment of being alive personally … as being proof of ‘my’ subjective existence” and then, in attentive contemplation become fascinated by the very fact that ‘you’ and 8 billion other people all have their own personal experience of time. It can’t be that time is like this, can it?

There is an alternative how to think about this – apperceptiveness. You can try it out in a quiet moment.

Richard: Being ‘alive’ is to be paying attention – exclusive attention – to this moment in time and this place in space. This attention becomes fascination … and fascination leads to reflective contemplation. Then – and only then – apperception can occur. (Library, Topics, Apperception)

Cheers Vineeto

[scout]

thank you for the thoughtful responses vineeto, i will explore

[Vineeto]

Scout: thank you for the thoughtful responses vineeto, i will explore. (link)

Hi @Scout,

You are very welcome. Seeing you enjoyed the responses, I like to explore your original question a bit further.

Scout: interesting, i’ve had experiences on psychedelics where psychological time ceased to exist as i’d previously known it, as well as the anxiety around it – but there was still change and a direction to change. there was no longer anticipation or anxiety surrounding where that change was leading, just presence.

Yes, events change but when ‘I’ am in abeyance either in a PCE or when actually free, it is evidently obvious that time does not move, no matter which events take place in the arena of time. Here is a stillness that is all around, unimaginable, inconceivable and utterly magical.

To explain, when ‘I’ am in abeyance then ‘I’ am no longer the centre around which ‘my’ perception and ‘my’ world view revolves. When ‘I’ am in abeyance, or extinguished, there is no “presence”, there is no centre, there is only here, this place in space and now, this moment in time.

I am not sure what you mean when you say “just presence”? Could it be that this “presence” was ‘Being’ or ‘Me’? It would be good to explore so you do not take a possible ASC as your loadstone.

is that the “eternity” Vineeto and Richard discuss? time is not a concern or even really felt because the mind stops creating a past or future. but there is still always the change and there is only so much change i will experience before all experience ends.

Given that you are not sure then it is better not to rely on those experiences especially as most experiences with psychedelics turn out to be ASCs. Viz.:

Richard: In regards hallucinogens: I never advise or encourage anyone to use psychotropic substances (for obvious reasons). If, however, someone already has done so, and intends to do so again of their own accord and volition anyway, then I would counsel their very careful and considered use as it is all-too-easy for an altered state of consciousness (ASC) to emerge rather than a pure consciousness experience (PCE) … there are many accounts available on the internet and 4 or 5 years ago I browsed through several web pages and never found any description that resembled a PCE. [emphasis added]. (Richard, List AF, No. 61, 29 Jan 2004)

but maybe that doesn’t matter when i’m not worried about what’s not happening now. the sense of the “clock ticking” is mostly just fear yeah?

It does matter a great deal. You would want a clear experience of the actual world in order to guide you, and when you rely on something that very likely was an ASC then you are getting confused at best. If you were really “not worried about what’s not happening now” then you would be enjoying and appreciating each moment of being alive to the point of continuously feeling excellent – but that is not the case, is it? And you wouldn’t have to ask if “the sense of the “clock ticking” is mostly just fear yeah?”

The “clock ticking” means you live in real-world time of past, present, future, like every other feeling being, and have conveniently convinced yourself of the belief that you are “not worried about what’s not happening now” while the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ instinctual passions are happening unobserved.

Don’t you want to find out how you tick, how your mind really works, how you can genuinely feel felicitous and innocuous 23 hrs 59 min a day? Wouldn’t that be worthy of your fascinated attention?

Here is a short quote from Richard’s correspondence with a spiritualist regarding eternity for your amusement –

RESPONDENT: Or is it that the movement creates time (maybe even different kinds of time), whenever it’s appropriate
RICHARD: Do you allow the possibility that time always was, already is, and always will be?
RESPONDENT: Yes, but I have doubts that that’s all there is to it.
RICHARD: What on earth do you mean by ‘that’s all there is to it’ … eternity (beginningless and endless time) means that it is an all-inclusive everywhen which boggles the mind (intellectual thought) leaving one in a state of wonder and amazement at the sheer magnitude of this marvellous universe. (List B, No. 42b, 7 Dec 2001).

Cheers Vineeto

[Kub933]

@Vineeto

RICHARD: What on earth do you mean by ‘that’s all there is to it’ … eternity (beginningless and endless time) means that it is an all-inclusive everywhen which boggles the mind (intellectual thought) leaving one in a state of wonder and amazement at the sheer magnitude of this marvellous universe

Haha yes this exactly how I experienced it the other day :

Reading my own reply back I realise that the real world time span also only exists in that bubble

Which means that when it happens it will be now, as it is always now, no time has actually passed between the ‘past’ and the ‘present’ and likewise the distance between the ‘present’ and the ‘future’ is ‘my’ concoction, all part of that illusiory world.

How absolutely mind boggling haha.

And this wonder and amazement shortly after led to a PCE :

@Kub933

Wow yes I saw this just a few minutes ago, I was getting ready and looking in the mirror. I saw that where this body exists time has no duration, there is such an incredible safety to this.

So indeed it matters a great deal to find out for oneself, I have been amazed by this since.

[Kub933]

There is so much great content and exploration happening on the forum right now I almost don’t know where to start, which line of enquiry to contemplate for they are all amazing and worthwhile!

I will just write this as I need to start work in 10 minutes. It seems since the PCE the other day the experience of time has changed somewhat. It is weird because ‘I’ cannot experience actual time and yet ‘I’ can no longer believe in ‘real time’.

I can notice a specific difference since waking up this morning in that previously ‘I’ experienced time as a thin 1 dimensional line, the past, present and future, ‘I’ existed on that continuum. Now it is as if time has opened up to become this big dome in which all events happen. Within that dome it is ultimately meaningless to distinguish between past, present, future. ‘I’ could place 2 markers within that dome and then draw a distance between them, then call it ‘present’ and ‘future’, but this is also ultimately meaningless as both happen now.

So I have been contemplating on what @Vineeto wrote about the only question being relevant at this point is when to self immolate. But since experiencing this shift it seems the only answer can be now. I could say this evening to give it more ‘solidity’ and yet this evening will also happen now.

[Kub933]

I can see the difference between whatever this ‘inbetween’ is and actual time. This dome that ‘I’ find myself in although being more open than the previous linear experience it still has edges, that is to say it is not eternal and so it is certainly an improvement but it still lacks that magical element which is intrinsic to the experience of infinitude.

I know this to be so because I keep peeking through the edges of this dome and tasting that magical flavour.

[Kub933]

I remember reading the below from the ASA article:

The clear and clean and pure awareness of apperceptiveness is a total certainty and complete absence of doubt that manifests itself primarily as a constant and unwavering fascination which never flags and never turns away.

I thought how could it be so, a fascination that never flags and never turns away!? Which means I could be sat doing absolutely nothing and be having the time of my life, and that this would/could never cease.

This never ending fascination comes from the experience of infinitude, for how could it all be so? And it is like a gift that keeps on giving, in whichever direction one could possibly look. It’s like the enjoyment and appreciation has no limit both in terms of scope and depth.

The next bit I find hard to put into words but from this ultimate perfection and purity of infinitude arose human kind, and even looking at what human kind is/has been able to achieve I cannot help but experience the same fascination and enjoyment and appreciation.

I often experienced this at little things like the complex traffic system that operates on the UK motorways. That all this concerted activity arose to keep everybody safe and living their life happily. How incredible that humans were able to do this, that this is what we are. But really one could look in any direction and experience amazement at “what has been achieved despite the human folly”.