I have to say my ongoing experience has improved substantially since putting the actualist approach into action.
Although I have a lack of desire to talk about the practice, I’m somewhat forcing myself to share as the title of this thread entails keeping me honest towards myself.
Since turning more and more attention to tapping into pure intent, the endeavour to enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive has become a much easier and fun approach to living in general, regardless of whether the end result happens or not. I was having a lot of old reoocuing feelings for and thought patterns of not enabling to be here in this earth these past years. So much so that it eventually triggere me to revisit the actual freedom practice but a bit more honest with it compared to past “efforts”.
I have a lengthy history in insight practice within various Buddhist circles with perceptual changes here and there. But a lot of the changes where safe to say now, simply moulding the feeling being into this and that so that it was more “palatable” if that is even possible. I think deep down I’ve always been dissatisfied with the results of that/those paths I was immersed in, not to mention the arguments for it put forth by everyone else participating in a those paths, as well as the constant sense of identity building I was doing with it all.
I’m very wary of doing that on with this practice too as I see the incessant feeling being giving rise to thoughts what “I” will do when actually free. So sneaky and I’m happy to actually be able to see it and question it. It is also fun to pull apart because whenever I keep questioning these mental gymnastic movements to “be someone” they seem to unravel and lead closer to PCE/ EE territory.
Pure intent is a game changer and I’m well aware when I say that there may be some baggage some read into it as my name is on the Actual freedom website for all the wrong reasons haha! Crazy how viewpoints change!
Claudiu pointing out my potential adherence to those past missteps above led me to deep dive into all the writings on pure intent on the main site and here and elsewhere. So misinformed last time I thought I was putting it to use. Anyways, I somehow have the ability to tap into that benevolent and benigity that Richard refers to, that is part and parcel of a PCE. Im not gonna try and describe it in my own words but I’ve really come to a realisation Richard’s words are the best and most accurate description needed. And it works even when I have a not so nice feeling, I remember the PCE I’ve had recently and that inherent purity, and this somehow triggers that tapping into, momentarily leading to a sort of undoing of any emotional knot that is there and then again closer to PCE territory. It leads to an immediate “thinning out” of the feeling being so that enjoying and ppreciating become more naturallly occurring.
I’d like to take this opportunity as well as I am enjoying the process of untangling all the mental and emotional knots this mind body organism seems to have tied over the years, to untangle another for myself. Myself and Claudiu perhaps did not end our back and forth communications well in the distant past, or at least I did not being so attached to the “budddhist” identity I’d carefully formed at the time, maybe 11 years ago nowI think. I apologise to you and hope there are no hard “feelings”, at least I’d like not to dwell on it as it does seem to crop up as I type this post. I hereby u Rangel that knot within myself.
My current actualist practice shifts focus from day to day, I have realisations about the feeling being again andagain pulling apart old beliefs that seem to act as barriers to enjoying this very moment. Richard’s question “how can I psychologically and psychically self-immolate?” is a common thought as is the intention to tap into pure intent at any given moment as well as simply asking “why am I not actually free right now?” These all lead to EE’s and at times momentary PCE’s. It truly is the most enjoyable path to choose it least in my limited experience of “paths”. The results are immediate and fuel the ongoing practice. I’m enjoying and appreciating the results of all this.
I’ve really also enjoyed reading about teh Man from Sydney and Georgey’s account of actual freedom. Their words have also added to the enthusiasm. I’m taking it on board that this IS my destiny and that it WILL happen. I know that brain changes are possible from past experience so that also contributes to knowing this will happen. Anyway, I’m glad I forced myself to type this.
Feel free to pull apart anything I type as for some reason I am thoroughly enjoying the process of pulling everything I communicate apart as well.