Keeping Nick honest

Hi all,

Long time listener.

It’s been a couple of months since I started an actualist practice. I’ve made a lot of headway in the area of beliefs. Dismantling so very many insidious ones that have established over the years.

Goodness has it been eye opening simply doing exactly as Richard instructs. Life is 100x better as a result.

I am posting this to perhaps act as a catalyst to spur me on further, though my motivation to take it to its end has snowballed as of late as I keep enjoying this moment of being alive and unraveling anything that stands in the way of that. And it works. It works so very well I shake my head and ask myself why I didn’t take it to this degree of dedication earlier in my journey.

Some may remember me from the old DhO days. So many years ago. 2 months ago I had a realisation that everything I was saying in my head and elsewhere was complete bullshit. And from there , I jumped back into that Actual Freedom trust website and Simple Actualism, and suddenly a motivation to do the exact same thing others had done arose like never before. That pure intent to be happy and harmless was a breath of fresh air along with my early memories of PCE’s in childhood now no longer easy to not think about and ignore.

This is me keeping myself honest and perhaps I may ask questions. It is indeed a wonderous path and 180 degeees opposite to everything I had done previously. The first beliefs I unravelled (and goodness has it been an adventure unraveling the beliefs I have had) were related to “my path”. So much bullshit I laugh now thinking about it .I seem to have uprooted so very many as I now take long walks everyday for my daily excercise routine and make quite a bit of progress dismantling them during it.

Anyways , life is good.


Wow! Awesome to hear from you Nick!

It was @Nikolai_Halay that encouraged me to choose between the DhO practices and actualism, which stopped me trolling (back and forth from being “on board” and then the very next day, objecting with vitriolic posts on the DhO). That was 2013 I think?.

Hi Andrew,

Nice to hear from you. To tell you the truth, my memory is a tad foggy about the things that happened back then. I do know that a seed was planted about actualism that never left me. A thorn in my side so to speak. Or rather the memory of my PCEs.

I had to finally admit to myself that all the perceptual changes I’d had, though helpful for many things, did NOT lead me where I’ve always wanted to go; an end to that deep dissatisfaction with life. The experience of those PCE’s in childhood just made it impossible to plant a flag on any changes I had previously. And it took 10 years of forgetting about any “practice” to lead me to realise how many bullshit beliefs + feelings run the show.

Plus I fell into a sort of slumber when it came to changing my outlook as had kids, wifey and jobs taking a lot of my attention. 2 months of motivated enjoyment of being alive and investigation into anything that seemed to present as a barrier has led me to actually not experience that mentioned dissatisfaction at all in the past 2 months. Unbelievable! From experience, I know the brain can be changed. So I am now fully on board with this direction, 180 degrees from all those silly belief structures keeping “me” here.

I think I untangled a belief recently which seemed to give off a sense of “I can’t share any of this”. But I’m feeling very motivated to take this to the end, thus this spontaneous sharing.

Strange how quickly it works.


Welcome aboard @Nikolai_Halay !

Hi Nick,

Welcome to the forum!

You wrote (emphasis mine):

In the interest of “Keeping Nick honest” and regarding the topic of doing the “exact same thing others had done”, I write just a brief note to say that it appears you may be making the same mistake Tarin made, which is equating ‘your’ motivation – which is of course something sourced in and arising out of a rotten-to-the-core feeling-being (which all of us feeling-beings are at our core) – with pure intent – which is an actually occurring stream of benevolence and benignity that is outside of the human condition.

I highly recommend a re-read (if it’s not a first reading) of the entire Addendum 7 on the “Latest Public Announcement” page on the AFT site: Latest Public Announcement .

For a recent demonstration of the difference between ‘my’ intent/motivation, and pure intent, I refer you to the following.

First read this exchange from ~August 2022:

Now compare the above exchange along with all the details of it and what was being described, to the following which happened in ~April 2023 (just a few days ago):

Note particularly John’s sincere and accurate self-appraisal – “I don’t have pure intent […]” – as compared to August 2022, as this sincerity must have been a key part of what followed.

Also if Buddhism continues to provide any interest or appeal to you whatsoever I highly recommend reading this entire page of the latest correspondence on Buddhism (from ~2015): Selected Correspondence: Buddhism .

Cheers and best regards,

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Hi Claudiu,

Thanks for that. Definitely taking it on board.

It no longer does.

Thanks for this. This is very helpful.

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And yes, please do pick apart anything I say. I’m noticing more and more how insidious the ongoing feeling being can be. So it is very helpful to get these pointers.

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