Ian's Journal

This quote of Richard is what I have experientially learned recently…

Anger and forbearance, for instance, is anger and forbearance wherever it lives. There is no difference at root between English anger and forbearance and American anger and forbearance and African anger and forbearance and so on.

https://actualfreedom.com.au/richard/selectedcorrespondence/sc-denial.htm

On top of which I would say that feeling like and English person is no different to feeling like an American or an African…the feeling of being a national identity is the same and it wouldnt matter if there was three or three thousand different nations…

It’s all so fascinating

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Ian: OK I have been contemplating the awful side of the human condition, allowing myself to delve into videos of human conflict and war and paying attention to politics, always with one eye on how it begins in my own being. A great read called The Greatest Evil is War by Chris Hedges was a strong eye opener, and a documentary called The Act of Killing really brought things to light, then also had a recent experience of a conflict situation arising at work involving several groups with opposing perspectives to which I was initially neutral but then threats were made to who I felt to be my people which sparked the same defense anger as I could see in the other parties, fortunately I was aware enough to be fascinated by the whole thing instead of getting caught up in it… and made a request to disarm the situation from escalating further…

Hi Ian,

Welcome back to writing here.

This is a great report of your exploration in “the awful side of the human condition” which permeates almost every aspect of human society, including ‘entertainment’. It is fascinating how you could observe the dynamic of the particular conflict and then observe how you were emotionally drawn into it, not for personal interest but because of loyalty to ‘your’ people. It is very useful to have this experiential understanding.

Ian: and the experience of this urban battleground taught me a few things/ led me to finally understand experientially some key elements:

  1. Conflict shows that anger/ defense/ identity/ morality is the same in everyone no matter what the conflict is about.
  2. Morality is felt the same in everyone and is enculturated
  3. As an instinctual feeling being I was born anonymous
  4. My name was imposed, maybe one of the first personal identities enculturated into this mind
  5. There is no difference between me and my fellow human beings

I am now genuinely contemplating what it means to care for another / all individuals, given that the one is the many

Yes, knowing experientially “what it means (…) that the one is the many” is the end of conflict – just contemplate how wonderful this is! The end of conflict …

Ian: So I get the difference now between me as the anonymous instinctual being, and me as the social identity.
Also me as a social identity is obviously illusory – has no basis in actuality at all.

Even though the “social identity is obviously illusory” it still has its tentacles in every aspect of life, and each becomes apparent while you discover what in a specific situation prevents you from fully enjoying and appreciating.

Ian: Also it kind of feeds me more understanding of how me as anonymous instinctual being needs to be triggered into the altruistic sacrifice. (link)

Well said.

Cheers Vineeto

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Artifice might be a better term for the ‘me’ as social identity—in the sense that I didn’t exist in that form until after birth, and this identity was constructed and woven into the anonymous being over time through language, experience, fear, and nurture. It functions as a governance mechanism: managing, interpreting and codifying the instinctual passions.

Thank you Vineeto.

Yes now I can see the two parts working together and it is much clearer now how to stop believing.

Thank you for this also.

I am certainly contemplating and keen to be out in the world of work again today to see the difference.

Hi Vineeto

Could you please go into more detail on this wall of fear and traversing it. How did you come across it, were you aware of it while you were traversing, did anything in particular bring you there, or was it the inevitable result of increasing naivete? Would love to get a better picture of this as I get the sense that something like that is lurking at the edges of my consciousness and possibly what keeps me in the corral. Its hard to say exactly what would be useful to hear but anything that fills in the blanks a little bit more would be great if you could.

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Vineeto to Claudiu: My period of being out-from-control started when I (metaphorically speaking) traversed the ‘wall of fear’, described by Richard as ‘a fear so vast as to best be called dread’ occurring at the ‘utter imminence’ at the gate to an actual freedom. (link)

Ian: Hi Vineeto
Could you please go into more detail on this wall of fear and traversing it. How did you come across it, were you aware of it while you were traversing, did anything in particular bring you there, or was it the inevitable result of increasing naivete? Would love to get a better picture of this as I get the sense that something like that is lurking at the edges of my consciousness and possibly what keeps me in the corral. It’s hard to say exactly what would be useful to hear but anything that fills in the blanks a little bit more would be great if you could. (link)

Hi Ian,

A very timely question. I recently remembered the whole story and I was looking forward to the right opportunity to tell the story.

It happened around end of November/ beginning of December 2009. Richard showed me and Peter a short video where a young woman was filming herself having pleasuring herself with unabashed delight. It was obvious that she was entirely unselfconscious, not acting, not pretending, but simply having a great time. Hers was a genuinely naïve enjoyment and celebration of her sexuality, an unbridled and uninhibited sensuality and sensuosity. ‘Vineeto’ was impressed, and at the end of the video ‘she’ said “if she can do it I can do it”.

You’ll have to remember that two weeks before Richard had impressed up ‘her’ to come out-from-control (link). So ‘Peter’ and ‘Vineeto’ went to the bedroom, and with such naïve demonstration it was indeed easy to imitate and replicate the naïve unbridled enjoyment of sexuality and sensuality. That’s how ‘Vineeto’ lost ‘her’ own inhibitions.

When Respondent No. 4(D) met us on 5th December 2009, ‘Vineeto’ finally noticed the change in ‘herself’ and happily whispered to Richard “psst, I am out-from-control” –

‘Vineeto’: The other observation from this period of being out-from-control worth sharing, I was able to make when ‘No. 4(D)’ came for a visit. I remember clearly one day sitting in a circle of 5 friends, utterly relaxed despite the fact that I had never met one of them in person, and I noticed that I had no personal agenda whatsoever, no plan to stir the conversation into a particular direction, nothing to emphasize or hide, no self-centredness or favouritism, no shame, shyness, embarrassment, no power or drive – I was just being myself as I was. I sat in this group, as one of many, and my sole interest was that everyone present (including me as one of those present) enjoyed themselves/ obtained the maximum benefit from our meeting. I experienced myself as being unreservedly at ease and utterly benign and wasn’t driven to say anything unless it contributed to the overall quality of the conversation. (Direct Route, James, 16 Jan 2010).

Funnily enough, I completely forgot the event which had set it all in motion and allowed me to traverse the ‘wall of fear’ without noticing what ‘I’ had done, so to speak. Obviously, my social-conditioned mind still had come to terms with the newly discovered reality. It was months later when Richard reminded me of the ‘fear-shattering’ event. It’s quite a laugh!

Cheers Vineeto

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That is wonderful story, so much so for doing anything sudorific to traverse that wall of fear… Actually in this case it might have been :

Sudorific - relating to or causing sweating :grin:

So I wonder once ‘Vineeto’ lost ‘her’ inhibitions via naïve unbridled enjoyment of sexuality and sensuality was that the end of feeling like a fraud for ‘her’?

What was it like for ‘Vineeto’ once ‘she’ had stepped out from control to interact with Richard? Did that fear of “what he could discover” disappear?

I wonder if this is the direction of the remaining inhibitions for ‘me’ - that there is this shame or fear of knowing that ‘I’ am a fraud. That somehow ‘I’ am ashamed of ‘being’. ‘I’ am ashamed of ‘my’ fear aggression, nurture and desire.

It’s like as long as this shame is in place ‘I’ cannot ‘be’ naivete, because ‘I’ have something to hide. And it is weird because it is ‘my’ fear, aggression, nurture and desire which ‘I’ am hiding and yet in the process of it ‘I’ blame the body? I can see this with the repression of sexuality, in that ‘I’ am the only dirty thing about sexuality and yet the body with it’s delicious functions was blamed.

This seems important, because how can ‘I’ self-immolate if ‘I’ am still playing some game of pretence, if ‘I’ am dissociating from ‘my’ roots.

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Thank you Vineeto

Wow yes wonderful and surprising and fascinating really, I love how I would never have guessed that.

So that would suggest that the wall of fear is along the lines of exposure; the commitment of one’s full naive self to letting go and immersively delighting in being alive, allowing oneself that freedom.

Have I got the gist of it there?

I really enjoy hearing the stories of those pivotal moments, because they capture and convey something that for me at least is missed in the more matter of fact explanations.

Much like the story that has you floating along the river (snipped here):

It really bundles up the flavour of that moment.

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This seems like a brilliant way of summing it up Ian. And how could ‘I’ allow such exposure without freely and naively exposing that ‘I’ am the passions, without any shame - this is what got this body and that body here in the first place.

It seems the thrust of ‘humanity’ has been to deny this nature, which also kept ‘me’ in place. It makes sense that naivete is a necessary precursor to innocence. ‘I’ must first stop trying to dissociate from ‘my’ roots so that ‘my’ full exposure can occur - then innocence is possible.

But innocence has nothing to do with morality or with supression/repression, it is actually in the other direction, where this flesh and blood body exists. Earthly and organic seem like apt words here. As in innocence is not arrived at by dissociating from what one is or from what got this body here in the first place.

This is actually quite incredible to contemplate, I understand now why I was never able to find a shred of anything remotely resembling shaming in Vineeto’s writings. Because those passions which each and every human being is born with they are simply what got this body and that body here in the first place - how could one possibly shame that? They were a necessity for innocence to come about in the first place.

So now it is like ‘I’ am allowing ‘myself’ to see what it means that ‘I’ am the ‘many’, no matter how diminished ‘I’ may be. To see this without a shred of shame or dissociation it seems a necessary step in order to allow ‘my’ self immolation. This all seems in the correct direction - of recognising that I am a fellow human being.

I wonder now and I am also excited at what will end this shame for good.

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Vineeto to Ian: ‘Vineeto’ was impressed, and at the end of the video ‘she’ said “if she can do it I can do it”. (…)
So ‘Peter’ and ‘Vineeto’ went to the bedroom, and with such naïve demonstration it was indeed easy to imitate and replicate the naïve unbridled enjoyment of sexuality and sensuality. That’s how ‘Vineeto’ lost ‘her’ own inhibitions. (link)

Kuba: That is wonderful story, so much so for doing anything sudorific to traverse that wall of fear… Actually in this case it might have been : Sudorific – relating to or causing sweating.
So I wonder once ‘Vineeto’ lost ‘her’ inhibitions via naïve unbridled enjoyment of sexuality and sensuality was that the end of feeling like a fraud for ‘her’?
What was it like for ‘Vineeto’ once ‘she’ had stepped out from control to interact with Richard? Did that fear of “what he could discover” disappear?

Hi Kuba,

I had to think back and I can’t remember any feeling “like a fraud” after the event described above. I would say it was due to the fact that ‘she’ was already fully committed to ‘her’ demise without any reservations ‘she’ was aware of. ‘She’ was cognisant that as long as ‘she’ was a feeling being ‘she’ was an impostor but that was not a problem as ‘she’ knew ‘she’ was unreservedly heading towards ‘her’ destiny fast. That knowing comes with the experience of being out-from-control.

For instance I remember that day we set off on the journey to our summer holidays in the remote rainforest wilderness, a two-day journey along the main river towards the long and winding tree-framed Bungawalbin Creek, ‘Vineeto’ was sitting on the bow deck while Peter was steering, and her heart was singing all the way because ‘she’ knew with utmost confidence that sometime during those 4-6 weeks of holiday “it” would happen, and every mile travelled brought ‘her’ closer to ‘her’ destiny. It was a glorious day and a wondrous journey, full of joyous anticipation. … And “it” did happen!

Kuba: I wonder if this is the direction of the remaining inhibitions for ‘me’ – that there is this shame or fear of knowing that ‘I’ am a fraud. That somehow ‘I’ am ashamed of ‘being’. ‘I’ am ashamed of ‘my’ fear aggression, nurture and desire.
It’s like as long as this shame is in place ‘I’ cannot ‘be’ naiveté, because ‘I’ have something to hide. And it is weird because it is ‘my’ fear, aggression, nurture and desire which ‘I’ am hiding and yet in the process of it ‘I’ blame the body? I can see this with the repression of sexuality, in that ‘I’ am the only dirty thing about sexuality and yet the body with its delicious functions was blamed.

Look, such existential ‘problems’ are not solved by ruminating about it and dissecting what others have done, only to again busy oneself with ‘my’ shortcomings. You need to live it, do it, and whenever you find a hesitation due to moral and ethical constriction, overcome it instead of habitual hiding or retreating –

Richard: Yes, once altruistically set in motion, a momentum happens of its own accord. One knows, from the perfection of freedom from the human condition as evidenced in the PCE, that it is possible to live the actuality that is already always here. What ‘I’ do is unreservedly allow ‘my’ eventual demise to occur … pure intent, born out of the connection between one’s inherent naiveté and the perfection of the infinitude of this physical universe, will provide one with the necessary intestinal fortitude. And once embarked upon the wide and wondrous path to an actual freedom, you are not on your own: this perfection is with you all the way … but if you waver, you are indeed doing it on your own. It is a matter of having the courage of your convictions and letting nothing stand in your way; determination and perseverance are the essential prerequisites to ensure success … coupled with application and diligence. One finds one must – one needs must actually do it – for no one else will do it for you as no one else can do it for you. And although one may think and feel that it would be a lonely journey to take on one’s own it is not … it is the most joyous escapade one can ever enter into.
It is the jaunt of a lifetime. [Emphases added]. (Richard, AF List, Alan-b, 13 Dec 1999)

Richard: (…) no one has ‘the necessary intestinal fortitude to proceed’ before they proceed: it comes in sufficient quality, and only as required by the circumstances, as one proceeds. [Emphasis added]. (Richard, AF List, Alan-b, 28 Jan 2001)

Kuba: This seems important, because how can ‘I’ self-immolate if ‘I’ am still playing some game of pretence, if ‘I’ am dissociating from ‘my’ roots. (link)

It is naiveté which is the cure for pretence and dissociating. Play as genuinely as you allow yourself to be. :wink:

Kuba: So now it is like ‘I’ am allowing ‘myself’ to see what it means that ‘I’ am the ‘many’, no matter how diminished ‘I’ may be. To see this without a shred of shame or dissociation it seems a necessary step in order to allow ‘my’ self-immolation. This all seems in the correct direction – of recognising that I am a fellow human being.
I wonder now and I am also excited at what will end this shame for good. (link)

Mmh, the opposite of shame is pride – no pride no shame (or humility).

(It’s a general rule of thumb ‘Vineeto’ found in ‘her’ investigations – if ‘she’ couldn’t shake off a bad feeling it was usually that ‘she’ wanted to keep/ defend its opposite good feeling.)

Come out more and more from your habitual safe place and discover … playmates. How close can you get?

Cheers Vineeto

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Thank you Vineeto, yes I can see there is pride (as well as shame), actually all that has happened recently it has made me view ‘myself’ in a new light.

I understand what you are getting at, in that the third alternative to the shame and the pride is naivete. And naivete is not something ‘I’ do but rather something ‘I’ am ‘being’ - therefore it is an existential involvement.

It’s as though ‘my’ naivete so far has been on a “probationary period” or it has been on “training wheels” haha. It has not bloomed into being a childlike persona albeit with adult sensibilities, that is to say ‘I’ am not ‘being’ naivete itself, yet.

Hmm and looking at the words i just used (probationary period and training wheels), it would make sense that the virtual freedom I have been experiencing is more likely to be an in control virtual freedom. What need for probationary periods or training wheels if ‘I’ am out from control.

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Hi @Vineeto - This link is showing up as 404 to me, does it work for you?

I’ve enjoyed the discussion on this topic immensely and it’s brought up a lot of questions, some that I’ve wondered about for some time.

  1. What does out-from-control refer to? Specifically, what is one out-from-control from? My vague understanding is that the feeling-being is no longer under the control of social conditioning. All of those controls have been let go of, however, the feeling-being is still present. But it seems like a touch more than that as there is a shift from the “do-er” to “be-er.” Why are we not the “be-er” right now?

  2. How did Richard impress it upon you? What does one look for / aim for that is different than what you were already doing at the time? Could you even understand what he was asking you to do?

  3. Does being out-from-control guarantee you’ll feel good? My understanding is that during this period the mutiny took place, am I correct? Can you elaborate on the potential for the “bad” & “good” emotions while being out-from-control?

  4. I hate to ask but does this out-from-control state relate to enlightenment in any way, hence the caution to proceed without pure intent fully in place? I notice the “doer” features a lot in their discourse, however the “Absolute” doesn’t feature in being out-from-control.

  5. Similar to the above in regards to caution - I’ve often contemplated the difference between out-of-control and out-from-control. Might you be able to offer a comparison of the two? It almost seems like out-from-control is free liscense to be however you want, but the qualitative difference is the pure intent to make peace on earth apparent - thus one can trust oneself to ‘be’ however one wants. (There seems to be a massive dissociation here, creating an “entity” that controls and another “entity” that needs to be controlled.")

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Hi Ed,
thank you for letting me know.
I have fixed it now in the original post.
The link should be (link)

More later.

Regards
Vineeto

Ed: I’ve enjoyed the discussion on this topic immensely and it’s brought up a lot of questions, some that I’ve wondered about for some time.

  1. What does out-from-control refer to? Specifically, what is one out-from-control from? My vague understanding is that the feeling-being is no longer under the control of social conditioning. All of those controls have been let go of, however, the feeling-being is still present. But it seems like a touch more than that as there is a shift from the “do-er” to “be-er.” Why are we not the “be-er” right now?

Hi Ed,

You are a being with the “controller” in charge to regulate all your thinking and feeling towards remaining exactly as you are, to keep the status quo. To keep your beliefs, your ‘truths’, your natural, i.e. passionate tendency for genetic and socially inculcated feelings and actions intact, as they are, to not change human nature. In order to be able to question these tenets of your social identity, whenever any of them interfere with consistently enjoying and appreciating being alive, you need, of course, actively pure intent operating.

There is plenty of information in the website, for instance reading attentively Richard’s selected correspondence, Richard’s and Vineeto’s out-from-control reports, and of course the latest correspondence on this forum.

  1. How did Richard impress it upon you? What does one look for / aim for that is different than what you were already doing at the time? Could you even understand what he was asking you to do?

He specifically asked me to. Of course, I knew what Richard was asking me. The topic had been discussed and explained for weeks the topic of the Topica mailing list discussion. We were gathered for the ‘First Convivium Gathering’ at the navigable end of the Bungawalbin river to further all participants to be, sooner rather than later, in a different way of being –

RICHARD: No mechanism prompted me; it was my select associates at the time – feeling-beings all of them – who all-of-a-sudden no longer had an impenetrable psychic force-field barring their access or blocking them from getting (existentially) close to me.
Thus the impetus for me being as if lifted forward by a cresting wave (to utilise surfing terminology) came from them; after all, setting into motion plans for intensifying their actualism practice is what we had all gathered together there for, in that remote river wilderness area on that weekend in November, 2009 (in what became known as ‘The First Convivium Gathering’), and it was Vineeto’s existential proximity in particular which was the keenest impetus.
(Hence me impressing upon her, and not another, the necessity of being out-from-control/ in a different-way-of being).

On the following Monday (the 16th of November), the day after being notified of my second wife’s death, shortly after that ‘First Convivium Gathering’ had concluded and my select associates had all gone back to their respective residences thus leaving me once again on my own at the navigable head of that remote river system, this impetus resulted in a profound event occurring – the first of what became known as magical prodigies – whilst I was contemplating the significance of her death; a tremendous surge of calorific energy travelled from the lower solar-plexus, from just above the sex-centre, up through the rib-cage diaphragm, suffusing the entire thoracic region with a sparkling effervescence and generating a golden hue in the visual field; this prodigy, which came to be known as ‘the quickening’, remained operating 24/7 all through both the epoch-changing events of late 2009/early 2010 and those other magical prodigies, already made public knowledge, which enabled/ facilitated those events.
These last few months, beginning in the morning of Friday the 7th of October 2011, a clearer, finer version of ‘the quickening’ has been subtly making itself noticed more and more; by ‘clearer, finer’ I mean the visual field is marked by a distinct crystalline character, rather than a golden hue, and the sparkling effervescence, which is more full-body this time around, has a much finer quality to it such that a fine-champagne-bubbles type of word Devika made-up all those years ago – ‘tintling’ – seems to be most apt.
‘Tis all quite marvellous. (Richard, List D, No. 25, 6 Feb 2012)

The tooltip in that 4th paragraph of the quote (when accessed in the original) explains much of what you asked about pure intent and out-from-control.

  1. Does being out-from-control guarantee you’ll feel good? My understanding is that during this period the mutiny took place, am I correct? Can you elaborate on the potential for the “bad” & “good” emotions while being out-from-control?

Personally, I was consistently being naiveté/ being in an ongoing excellence experience, due to having traversed the wall of fear and having unequivocally agreed to ‘my’ impending demise for 4 and a half weeks, with a disruption of 3 days. You can work out the percentage for yourself.

  1. I hate to ask but does this out-from-control state relate to enlightenment in any way, hence the caution to proceed without pure intent fully in place? I notice the “doer” features a lot in their discourse, however the “Absolute” doesn’t feature in being out-from-control.

If you hate to ask this you probably already know the answer. It does not. Without “pure intent fully in place” you still have to be weary of the temptation but then you need pure intent operating to be in a different way of being. Only Richard, in the absence of a precedent, had to go through enlightenment – this is no longer necessary and it would be very silly to allow oneself to become enlightened due to being seduced by unexamined ‘good’ feelings.

  1. Similar to the above in regards to caution – I’ve often contemplated the difference between out-of-control and out-from-control. Might you be able to offer a comparison of the two? It almost seems like out-from-control is free license to be however you want, but the qualitative difference is the pure intent to make peace on earth apparent – thus one can trust oneself to ‘be’ however one wants. (There seems to be a massive dissociation here, creating an “entity” that controls and another “entity” that needs to be controlled.") (link)

Out-from-control is a different way of being as explained in the above given links.
Out of control is anyone giving way/ expressing excessive feelings.

Yes, “pure intent to make peace on earth apparent” is gained from the intimate connection betwixt the pristine-purity of an actual innocence and the near-purity of the sincerity of naiveté. When you have this connection you apperceptively know.

Neither trust, nor belief, hope or faith is required, in fact they are detrimental. Beware whenever someone tells you, in such typical new-age lingo, to “trust oneself to ‘be’ however one wants”.

As regards creating an “entity” – the entity is not created, you are genetically endowed with the instinctual entity which makes the inculcation of a social identity a life-and-death necessity. Therefore, what you call “massive dissociation” is every feeling being’s way of operating, including your own.

Richard: To begin at the beginning: every new generation – the latest recruits to the human race – have a veritable mish-mash of cultural folkways and social mores (=French moeurs) insistently impressed upon them from the earliest age. And the primary reason for the unremitting instillation of all those beliefs, ideas, theories, concepts, maxims, saws, proverbs, aphorisms, dictums, truths, truisms, factoids, philosophies, axioms, posits, postulates, values, principles, ideals, standards, credos, doctrines, tenets, canons, morals, ethics, customs, traditions, psittacisms, superstitions, myths, legends, folklores, imaginations, divinations, visions, fantasies, chimeras, illusions, delusions, hallucinations – and whatever other schemes and dreams there may be which constitutes human wisdom – is essentially because of each sentient being having been born with connaturally puissant survival instincts, which, when operating and functioning as a group, are potentially a danger to all concerned.
And this is because what is known colloquially as “blind nature” endows each and every human being with the selfish instinct for individual survival and the clannish instinct for group survival – be it the familial group, the tribal group, or the national group – and, as it takes a powerful instinctive impulse (altruism) to overcome a powerful instinctive impulse (selfism), the newest recruits to humankind needs must be socialised and culturalised. Viz.:
• culturalise: to expose or subject to the influence of culture {viz.: culture = the sum total of ways of living built up by a group of human beings and transmitted from one generation to another}; (n.): culturalisation. [curly-bracketed insert added] ~ (Webster’s College Dictionary).
• socialise: to make social {viz.: social = friendly or sociable; agreeable in company; companionable}; make fit for life in companionship with others; (n.): socialisation. [curly-bracketed insert added] ~ (Webster’s College Dictionary).
This ad hoc socialisation and culturalisation, this extempore implantation of socially and culturally approved mores and folkways, increates an incorporeal socio-cultural inwit or conscience – (an in situ affective-psychic guardian inculcated as a preventative measure to restrain and/or contain the wayward self which lurks deep within the human breast per favour blind nature’s inherent survival passions and preclude gaols from being filled to over-flowing by inhibiting offences from occurring in the first place) – which invariably forms itself into a socio-cultural identity.
This increated socio-cultural inwit a.k.a. conscience a.k.a. guardian – colligated under the rubric “social identity” for convenience – encompasses various bodiless personae as well. (Richard, the Formation and Persistence of Social Identity)

You can read the rest of this excellent article including explanatory tool-tips at the above link.

Cheers Vineeto

Ok exciting now…stoked to see these conversations happening…now I can add to this that now I finally experientially understand what the part that is the social identity is…so now I can understand what a belief is and that underneath all the malleable and in a way semantically different surface identities is the same feeling being doing my thing…and I really feel like that part of me is not only anonymous but also blind…

It was great to explore the conflict, but also what nailed it was this bit from Henry about competitor [quote=“henryyyyyyyyyy, post:1029, topic:234”]
That means that you and I fall somewhere within that 50,000 pecking order, with thousands above and below us
[/quote]

And I could see in the same way all national pride is the same feeling, and all national anger is the same anger…so is the feeling of winning or losing… whether you are a winner at music or polevaulting or nosepicking or a loser at being a lawyer or scientific research or tennis or cards…

I’m not worried at all about being the best basketball player because I have no identity as a basketball player, but I do want to feel like I’m winning at my job and winning at creating music… the feeling is the same…

But also if I did play a game of basketball, I would most likely be playing to win… but I have no big belief that for example basketball is the be all and end all… meaning that I don’t have a strong sense of importance and therefore survival imbued into the activity or anything related to it…

And in the cases where I do have a strong belief system I do feel strongly about those things.

But now I can see what is social identity and belief layered like icing on top of the real player…the instinctual being…

Ok great this is great…moving forward!

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Ian: Realised that I am the instinctual passions… as a fact not a concept.
Ok exciting now… stoked to see these conversations happening… now I can add to this that now I finally experientially understand what the part that is the social identity is… so now I can understand what a belief is and that underneath all the malleable and in a way semantically different surface identities is the same feeling being doing my thing… and I really feel like that part of me is not only anonymous but also blind…

Hi Ian,

This is a great description of knowing something as a concept versus knowing it from your own experience.

I usually take it for granted that people would know (at least partially) what feelings/ instinctual passions mean experientially and what the social identity consists of, but ever so often they tell me that it is not clear. So I do appreciate that you know it experientially and also describe it well.

Ian: It was great to explore the conflict, but also what nailed it was this bit from Henry about competitor –

Henry: That means that you and I fall somewhere within that 50,000 pecking order, with thousands above and below us (link)

Ian: And I could see in the same way all national pride is the same feeling, and all national anger is the same anger… so is the feeling of winning or losing… whether you are a winner at music or pole-vaulting or nose-picking or a loser at being a lawyer or scientific research or tennis or cards…

Yes. Yesterday I posted ‘Vineeto’s’ description how ‘she’ experienced the 2000 Olympic Games’ opening show (on TV) and how ‘she’ then experienced nationalism, including the accompanying vibes. (link)

And you expanded this understanding to anger per se, to competition, to the various identities people adopt and call their own. By the way, this includes being an ‘actualist’ as an identity and its accompanying pride, shame and imagined ranking.

Ian: I’m not worried at all about being the best basketball player because I have no identity as a basketball player, but I do want to feel like I’m winning at my job and winning at creating music… the feeling is the same…
But also if I did play a game of basketball, I would most likely be playing to win… but I have no big belief that for example basketball is the be all and end all… meaning that I don’t have a strong sense of importance and therefore survival imbued into the activity or anything related to it…
And in the cases where I do have a strong belief system I do feel strongly about those things.

Well, now that you discover the various belief- and identification patterns you can identify them and decline them (or investigate them if necessary) and thus have them no longer rule your life and thus prevent you from enjoying life and appreciating this moment of being alive.

Ian: But now I can see what is social identity and belief layered like icing on top of the real player… the instinctual being…
Ok great this is great… moving forward! (link)

Indeed … “moving forward!” – what a joy.

Cheers Vineeto

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I found this quote you included in response to Ian to be very helpful:

Richard: Lastly, because the terms ‘doer’ and ‘beer’ are utilised in religio-spiritual/ mystico-metaphysical literature to refer to ‘ego’ and ‘soul’, respectively, it is apposite to point out here that those terms are not being used thataway when referring to the doer being abeyant, and the beer ascendant, in either a near-PCE – else IE’s and EE’s would instead be ASC’s (i.e., egoless) and thus not near-PCE’s – or when in an out-from-control virtual freedom. (Richard, List D, Srinath2, #out-from-control)

Ed: 4. I hate to ask but does this out-from-control state relate to enlightenment in any way, hence the caution to proceed without pure intent fully in place? I notice the “doer” features a lot in their discourse, however the “Absolute” doesn’t feature in being out-from-control.

Vineeto: If you hate to ask this you probably already know the answer. It does not. Without “pure intent fully in place” you still have to be weary of the temptation but then you need pure intent operating to be in a different way of being. Only Richard, in the absence of a precedent, had to go through enlightenment – this is no longer necessary and it would be very silly to allow oneself to become enlightened due to being seduced by unexamined ‘good’ feelings.

Ed: I found this quote you included in response to Ian to be very helpful:

Richard: Lastly, because the terms ‘doer’ and ‘beer’ are utilised in religio-spiritual/ mystico-metaphysical literature to refer to ‘ego’ and ‘soul’, respectively, it is apposite to point out here that those terms are not being used thataway when referring to the doer being abeyant, and the beer ascendant, in either a near-PCE – else IE’s and EE’s would instead be ASC’s (i.e., egoless) and thus not near-PCE’s – or when in an out-from-control virtual freedom. (Richard, List D, Srinath2, #out-from-control)

(link)

I thought of your question when I found and posted the above quote to Alexander. (link)

At any time you read what actualists write, especially Richard, Geoffrey and myself, keep in mind that actualism is the third alternative to materialism and spiritualism and has nothing at all to do with the concepts of either materialism and spiritualism. They both operate within the human condition.

The sooner you grasp that actualism is something entirely new to human consciousness, the sooner you will understand more of what is written and be able to clear the workbench and start afresh, i.e. unlearn/decline what you have been taught as “the Truth”.

Cheers Vineeto

Whoops - I meant to say Alexander, not Ian.

I can remember one of our earliest exchanges where you gave me the advice that it’s more helpful to look for the differences between spirituality and actualism than the similarities. That advice went a long way in clearing things up but I’ve never looked closely at the literature surrounding out-from-control as I consider that to be beyond me at this point. The recent discussions have been causing me to take a closer look.

I think there’s a temptation to try to understand where the two “schools” overlap as they both deal with matters of consciousness. But the end results are so drastically different that it makes no sense to take advice from a path that leads to undesired results. I often wonder about the spiritualist’s use of naivety & innocence, as they often emphasize these qualities. But this seems to gets translated to a ‘sexual innocence’ where abstinence is recommended. It was always odd to me they never addressed the desire and objectification driving the behavior. (As well as it still seemingly present in them). I guess in the end it doesn’t conflict with their Truth, and thus there’s no reason to fundamentally change.

There’s more I’d like to say but it’s a challenge to put it together coherently.

Were you no longer out-from-control for those 3 days? I guess I wonder if being out-from-control played a part in you getting swept into the emotions of the event - with no boundaries or limitations to control how you should feel. No loyalty to Richard or the image of yourself that had been a practicing actualist.

Or alternatively, with the diminishment of naivety & presence of fearful feelings, did the out-from-control different way of being cease only to be restarted at the end of the 3 days?

Or a 3rd option? :slight_smile: