OK i have been contemplating the awful side of the human condition, allowing myself to delve into videos of human conflict and war and payign attention to politics, always with one eye on how it begins in my own being. A great read called The Greatest Evil is War by Chris Hedges was a strong eye opener, and a documentary called The Act of Killing directed by Joshua Openheimer really brought things to light, then also had a recent experience of a conflict situation arising at work involving several groups with opposing perspectives to which i was initially neutral but then threats were made to who i felt to be my people which sparked the same defense anger as i could see in the other parties, fortunately I was aware enough to be fascinated by the whole thing instead of getting caught up in it…and made a request to disarm the situation from escalating further… and the experience of this urban battleground taught me a few things/led me to finally understand experientially some key elements:
- Conflict shows that anger/defense/identity/morality is the same in everyone no matter what the conflict is about.
- Morality is felt the same in everyone and is enculturated
- As an instinctual feeling being I was born anonymous
- My name was imposed, maybe one of the first personal identities enculturated into this mind
- There is no difference between me and my fellow human beings
- I am now genuinely contemplating what it means to care for another / all individuals, given that the one is the many
So I get the difference now between me as the anonymous instinctual being, and me as the social identity.
Also me as a social identity is obviously illusory - has no basis in actuality at all.
also it kind of feeds me more understanding of how me as anonymous instinctual being needs to be triggered into the altruistic sacrifice.
The main thing that surprised me was understanding the anonymous nature of me as the instinctual being.
There’s something in all this which is bit by bit clicking into place.