Vineeto: There is also Henry’s later addition to his competitor-shattering worldview – (link)
Felipe: That being said, one naturally takes sides in the hopes for the game to be more competitive and hence thrilling. This is where the strong emotional part comes in, as in taking sides, rooting for the underdog, hoping for an even and spectacular game, are all ways to crave conflict and drama as conditional entertainment and cope. (…)
Hi Felipe,
This is exactly the point – it feels natural to take sides. Wanting to become free from the human condition is not natural, hence sincere intent and ongoing affective attentiveness is required if one wants to make progress in freeing oneself from the various aspects of the human condition.
Felipe: Though a reason for anyone to watch any sport or movie, I guess even being actually free, is for it to be more engaging in some way (a conflict or a dramatic structure), I guess the difference being that a feeling being craves way more for these emotional condiments and spices in life, and for an actually free person is just a matter of preference. I think Peter, for instance, liked (likes?) watching cricket. So, assuming he still likes watching it, I bet that if the same team won every time 20-0, he’d lose interest and would prefer spending his time differently. So there’s some to that competitive aspect that makes the hobby worthwhile besides the conventional emotional thrill.
When ‘Peter’ watched cricket, ‘he’ had no longer an investment which side would win because ‘he’ was well aware that this was an aspect of being part, being loyal to a tribal allegiance. This very allegiance gives rise to taking sides, being emotional about the outcome of any game and ultimately of conflict. In the later years of our association ‘Peter’ had given up watching sport altogether.
Personally, ‘Vineeto’ was never interested in watching any competitive games, ‘she’ only watched the opening of the Sydney Olympics for the spectacle of it. Here is what ‘she’ experienced –
‘Vineeto’: Yesterday I watched the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games and found it an excellent example of the psychic web in action. A band of 2000 musicians from all over the world was playing, all nationalities wearing an identical blue-red-beige uniform, everyone marching in exact formations while playing the various national hymns from all over the world. The audience’s spirit was soaring high, cheers and tears, overwhelmed by the feeling of ‘we are all one’, ‘we are the world’, feeling unity, glory, bliss and love. It is amazing how simple methods – heart-stirring music, uniforms and people marching in formations – can cast an effective spell on the collective human psyche.
However, the feeling of ‘unity’ immediately dispersed as soon as the athletes of all the countries started marching into the stadium wearing their national costumes, under individual flags*.* Then the psychic scene changed, the feeling was now of individual national pride. Each nation was now separate from the other and soon each athlete will be competing against the others for the glory of their particular country and for their own personal fame. The feeling of Unity is but a short-lived feeling … the psychic vibe changes readily when the music changes. (Actualism, Vineeto, List D, James, 17.9.2000)
When you say that “there’s some to that competitive aspect that makes the hobby worthwhile” – this very competition, which you engage in by taking sides, is the very core of your “emotional thrill”. The question is, do you want to keep doing and feeling what one feels “naturally”, or do you have the sincere intent to abandon what feels natural, bit by bit, in a pursuit of becoming more happy and harmless.
Vineeto: (…) Or has Henry’s report of success in unconditionally feeling good and “peace and peacefulness” perhaps rekindled your attraction to achieve a similar experience in your own life?
Felipe: It’s been a rocky road for me.
Not a linear progression, but actualism never entirely wanes. It’s always in the background even when I take detours. Last one was that I started psycho-somatizing weirdly when I tried to feel good (I’m guessing because I was misapplying it, making it sudorific or repressing in my last iteration), but I’m returning once again and that’s why I was reading the old messages I missed.
Whenever you notice that you start “psycho-somatizing weirdly” it is a sure sign that some dissociation from an unwanted, uncomfortable feelings is taking place. Dare to pinpoint this feeling and allow it to be there, to feel it – and you will experience how it diminishes the moment you allow it to be there (it’s already there, just stop pushing it away by trying to forcefully feel good). You will see how the psychosomatic symptom will also eventually diminish (depending for how long you had habitually pushed the particular feeling away).
Then you can allow to be the feeling instead of having (and wanting to control) the feeling. Being the feeling you can see how silly it is to feel bad when instead you can enjoy and appreciate being here. Only then you can choose to be a different feeling, for instance being appreciative.
Felipe: As I told you before, some months ago I got to a state that set a rich benchmark that showed me what’s possible, when I had what it seemed like a mini virtual freedom that made me make sense of actualist aspects like never before. I want to reach that again. (link)
You can look up what you did then in your private journal, what it was that brought on the success. Otherwise you can employ the actualism method more methodically (see also what I wrote to Felix recently (link)). There is also a video where Richard describes the actualism method (link).
Cheers Vineeto