Hi Felix,
I’m not sure I will write A Report™, as in “Claudiu’s Report™ of Visiting Geoffrey”
I was prompted to write #1592 to attempt to assist Kuba and also writing down what I found beneficial for myself with regards to getting closer to self-immolation (also see the follow-ups in #1599 and #1600).
Maybe what would be beneficial is to highlight just how appealing actual freedom is, how clearly and obviously appealing it is to be that way, which interacting with an actually free person demonstrates readily.
There’s an effortless and remarkable ease of existence that I witnessed with Geoffrey. For me I was able to be completely un-self-conscious and I had a wonderful time conversing with him about whatever it is. It was delightful because no matter where the conversation turned, there was never any ‘friction’, no seriousness came up… I knew that we could go into any topic to any depth and it would be the same, regardless whether I disagreed or not. Whereas already soon after I got back home I saw how different it was with other feeling-beings, at a certain point something ‘turns’, there’s some rubbing or friction (even little stuff, not even anywhere near to the point of becoming annoyed let alone angry), it’s not… clean. I was able to be clean with Geoffrey as there was nothing from his side.
At one point I realized that he must be like that with everyone, that effortless way of interacting, and he confirmed this is the case. It was evident anyways: the people we met out and about like waiters and waitresses always interacted favorably with him, with many smiles and laughter.
My visit prompted a conversation between him and his wife where his wife shared what it was like for her living with him. Two things stood out: one is that she came to see their home as a refuge, a safe space that she could basically come back to from the chaos of the ‘real world’ (my words). The second was that she knew that no matter what, when she got home to Geoffrey, he would be good. As in, there would not be an issue or something he was having. This is distinct with normal people where no matter how generally happy someone is, they will have bad days or emotional issues or whatnot, and they will not be ‘good’ when you get home to them, and it’ll be something to deal with. But coming home to Geoffrey, he is always good. I thought this was remarkable and shows that there is no conflict with an actually free person living with feeling-beings, even with those closest to them, even when they have nothing to do with actualism.
This was after some years of living with him. Geoffrey also said something along the lines of, when you become actually free, to other people you will be basically the same, like they won’t even necessarily notice you being any different from one day to the next, even though for you the experience will be totally different.
As more of an anecdote, I found his eyes remarkably striking. There was a certain… clarity to them, an intensity whilst simultaneously an ease of existing. I didn’t quite know how to put my finger on it or how to describe it, but there was something special about it. When I got back home to my partner, and looked into her eyes, I immediately saw why: with my partner, there is something “in the way” – her identity (this is on top of my identity which is already in the way). With Geoffrey there was nothing “in the way” at all from his side. I am not sure this is something other feeling-beings would notice per se but it was something I noticed.
With regards to how he was as compared to Richard and Vineeto, I experienced him to be essentially the same way of being conscious as them. Sitting on a bench in a nearby forest-park, there was no difference at all between Geoffrey and the trees themselves. The trees are the universe and he is the universe experiencing itself as a flesh and blood body. The palpable stillness of the universe is the same as the stillness that he experiences himself as, I experienced both as inviting me in just the same way.
Another interesting thing he imparted to me was just how much social identity can remain even for the basically free people. In other words, the ‘bar’ to basic actual freedom is really not that high. You don’t have to clean up all or even nearly all of your social identity issues… that being said, simultaneously it is still absolutely everything for me to self-immolate, as I (the feeling-being) am indeed fully going extinct, make no mistake about it. But you don’t have to clean up every last thing. It’s more a matter of seeing the way to oblivion and going there, full-on.
Essentially the take-away I want to impart is that it is clearly a beneficial and better way to be alive, and there’s no downsides at all to it, nothing of ultimate value that one has to give up such that it would affect one’s association with other feeling-beings, even those that have nothing to do with actualism. I only have to give up myself, in my entirety, to allow this body to be free and for everyone around to palpably and tangibly benefit (immensely so) as a result of this worthy sacrifice which is fully and completely the end of me. I want to emphasize that last part: from how I understand it now (as not having done it yet this is not a report): it is not that I become free… it is that I go extinct, and allow this body to continue being conscious without me, which body being conscious is what will benefit those other bodies being conscious, but for me the feeling-being it is the same as if the body were to physically die, i.e. the end of everything, in totality.
Cheers,
Claudiu