Vineeto: Given that you still have an affective faculty in situ, and without the previously strict guidance of inculcated morals and ethics, a structure with fixed rules no matter the circumstance, you instead rely on pure intent.
Kuba: Yes so this is precisely what I was contemplating whilst I was driving yesterday, before I saw the guardian. I wanted to find something that is impeccable and the answer is pure intent. But I can see now that this conscience which I saw is absolutely necessary as long as ‘I’ am a feeling being. It is a fail-safe in that way because as long as ‘I’ am in existence as a passionate being then there is always a chance for malice to be activated.
Hi Kuba,
Conscience is never “fail-safe” as you can see by the amount of the mayhem and suffering which continues despite the rules of the social identity.
Living within the human condition is never “fail-safe” until/ unless pure intent is operating uninterrupted.
Kuba: So when I arrived at the party yesterday after the guardian was as if lifted off a little and there was the experience of pure intent being readily accessible, there was this sense that nothing could go wrong, that as long as pure intent is active then it is certain that I will behave in a manner that is safe for all.
So what I understand now is that it is this connection to pure intent which needs to be maintained, and that when that connection is severed for whatever reason that this is as if a red flashing light. That the goal is then to resume allowing pure intent, because only then am ‘I’ able to live in a way which is safe whilst being amoral.
Essentially that is to say that there is no other way to safely operate outside of the morals and ethics than via pure intent. Pure intent is the anchor to that which is safe and impeccable.
And linking this back to my previous post, it is this connection to pure intent that will answer my question of how/ whether to proceed with competitive training and what it will look like in practice. (link)
Presently you place your confidence of being able “to safely operate outside of the morals and ethics” on an ongoing active pure intent, which at least during the two incidents wasn’t active or ongoing – else those incidents would not have had the impact on you that they did.
Kuba: I sat for about 20min just now and I don’t know if I can provide an accurate answer here. I have certainly observed how competitiveness can segue into aggression during hard sparring. It’s a little like when one plays with a dog and as the intensity builds there can be this ‘switch’ that happens when all of a sudden it’s no longer play. But it get’s pretty difficult to distinguish these shifts during competitive sparring rounds. What I can say that there was certainly a sense of intense competitiveness which means it is likely there was aggression underlying it, although I don’t even know if at this level competitiveness can be distinguished from aggression. As in as soon as I enter that competitive mindset – of winning at all cost – then likely I am already ‘being’ aggression. (link)
Kuba: Also this was a very long winded and cunning way of saying that there was aggression there. I was feeling aggression, and in fact this competitiveness is driven by aggression. So of course when an incident happens there is the guilt, shame etc.
The other thing is that I don’t enjoy those kinds of rounds, of course not because that competitiveness is driven by aggression and it can have all those ugly outcomes as well.
The reason I could be cunning about it is because it is like a “sanctioned aggression”, it can be explained away “due to the nature of the sport” etc. But it is aggression nevertheless, it is far from clean.
And seeing first hand what my aggression is capable of causing (no matter if sanctioned or not) swung all the rest of the drama and the avoidance tactics in. And now the above posts are basically demonstrations of that cunning and the avoidance tactics.
But yes, to answer the question which unravels this whole sorry mess is that it was aggression, and it was coming face to face with the outcomes of my aggression that caused such a shock.
And the same with situation no. 2, it was coming face to face with the outcomes of my pursuit of the good feelings that caused such a shock. (link)
This is a sincere appraisal – affective aggression is just that, no matter if it is happening during “sanctioned” activity such as competitive sport or not. And you have perspicaciously identified situation No. 2 as “my pursuit of the good feelings” – those ‘good’ feelings, which so often get overlooked in one’s pursuit of being happy and harmless.
A month ago you quoted part of Claudiu’s report of his meeting with Geoffrey (link) –
Claudiu: Another interesting thing he imparted to me was just how much social identity can remain even for the basically free people. In other words, the ‘bar’ to basic actual freedom is really not that high. You don’t have to clean up all or even nearly all of your social identity issues… that being said, simultaneously it is still absolutely everything for me to self-immolate, as I (the feeling-being) am indeed fully going extinct, make no mistake about it. But you don’t have to clean up every last thing. It’s more a matter of seeing the way to oblivion and going there, full-on. (link)
Now here is a thought – what about becoming actually free first before making further assessments and potentially life-changing decisions on how much you can rely on being actively and continuously connected to pure intent?
Wouldn’t this be a worthwhile cause to sacrifice ‘yourself’ for the benefit of all the people who might potentially be hurt or harmed by ‘you’ when/if your own pure intent occasionally slips? If anything, these two incidents, which rocked you to the core, have experientially demonstrated to ‘you’ the imperative that remaining an instinctually driven identity is inherently unsafe for everyone concerned.
Geoffrey: I (…) realised in a flash that the unknown path is the safe path. That the known is the unsafe. That ‘I’ am the unsafe. (Geoffrey, Becoming Free Report)
Cheers Vineeto