Claudiu: I see wondrous glimpses now. Like riding my electric motorbike, it is clear the actual universe exists, and also that it all goes perfectly/ smoothly… and that this “it” that goes smoothly encompasses this flesh and blood body, and that I (the feeling-being who I feel myself to be) am not needed at all for this! That really I only get in the way of that perfection. Which is a relief! I don’t have to keep going around feeling to be responsible and burdened by it all. This relief is tantalizing and palpable.
Hi Claudiu,
This is great – ‘you’ are realizing that ‘you’ are no longer needed and it “is a relief!” This means that ‘you’ welcome ‘your’ impending resignation, ‘your’ redundancy and the way is open for the fulfilment of ‘your’ deepest desire – oblivion.
Respondent: … and it was the identity that dreamed up its avenue of escape …
Richard: Aye, the blessed [blessed: enjoying supreme felicity; fortunate; happily endowed with; pleasurable] release into oblivion is something only an identity, a psychological/ psychic entity, would desire. (Richard, AF List, No. 53h, 19 Jan 2005).
Richard: It is indeed possible for ‘me and death’ to meet – ‘tis a blessed release into oblivion – and this is not theory but experiential. (Richard, AF List, No. 44, 13 May 2003).
Now that you have experienced that oblivion is a relief, that retiring from being “responsible and burdened by it all” is a blessing, there seems to be nothing standing in the way of allowing it to happen now – not as a hopeful anticipation or a passionate belief but as an actuality when “one’s superb confidence and over-weening optimism precipitates ‘my’ demise”. (link)
Vineeto: The challenge for you now is – as I had put it to Kuba (link) – Who or what do you want to give all of ‘yourself’ to?
And because you wrote yesterday about having a “bit of a tiff w/ my partner last night” you don’t really have far to look. How wonderful and utterly beneficial will it be when you never ever need to “stop getting upset”, never have to be “decoupling one’s emotional reactions from what is factually happening” (link) and this is exactly what will eventuate once you give your partner all of you, in order to free both yourself and her from the crippling emotional reactions that inevitably happen from time to time as long as you are a feeling being. Giving her all of you will finally enable the actual intimacy she deserves and thrives in as the very fellow human being who decided to share her life with you. [emphasis added]
Claudiu: This one really got me. So perfectly put, immaculately in what it is conveying. Immense appreciation for her being that one who decided to share her life with me, acknowledgement of the fact that she thrives in the as-close-to-actual intimacy (and on occasion actual intimacy) as I can be, and seeing she is deserving of it given the former – what a wondrously potent motivator. (link)
I am pleased that “this one really got me.” It is so close to home and so often overlooked because one takes one’s partner for granted. And yet “as-close-to-actual intimacy” is vitally important for man and woman to live together in peace and harmony because man-woman sexuality and intimacy is the genesis of family and thus the very core of civilisation itself.
Plus, the very recognition and appreciation of the fellow human being who decided to share her life with you will not only give both of you the delight and wonderment of an actual or “as-close-to-actual intimacy” but can also be the key to ‘your’ yearned-for oblivion and Claudiu’s actual freedom for everyone’s benefit.
Cheers Vineeto
PS: Just so there is no confusion, when one is actually free, an actual intimacy (= no separation) is operant 24/7, an intimacy with every body and every thing and every event, and does not differentiate between more deserving or less deserving people – it cannot be switched off.