I see wondrous glimpses now. Like riding my electric motorbike, it is clear the actual universe exists, and also that it all goes perfectly/smoothly… and that this “it” that goes smoothly encompasses this flesh and blood body, and that I (the feeling-being who I feel myself to be) am not needed at all for this! That really I only get in the way of that perfection. Which is a relief! I don’t have to keep going around feeling to be responsible and burdened by it all. This relief is tantalizing and palpable.
This one really got me. So perfectly put, immaculately in what it is conveying. Immense appreciation for her being that one who decided to share her life with me, acknowledgement of the fact that she thrives in the as-close-to-actual intimacy (and on occasion actual intimacy) as I can be, and seeing she is deserving of it given the former – what a wondrously potent motivator 
