Vineeto: Where you are going with this is that you can never “be in accord with the fact” until you are actually free. This is called a red herring and stops you from even starting. To be sincere, i.e. “in accord with the fact”, means you don’t deceive yourself when a good or bad feeling interferes with enjoyment and appreciation. Therefore you are as honest as you can regarding the feeling which is happening at this very moment of writing this – for example something like “ahh, I can never be sincere, it’s too difficult, I rather stay as I am”. Sincerely acknowledging what is happening you’ll eventually sort it out with the intent to being happy and harmless – and you have demonstrated many times before that you can do that excellently. If you notice imagination happening like creating future scenarios, you sincerely acknowledge that knowing something imagined is not a fact.
Chrono: Hi Vineeto,
Ah I see now how what I wrote can be construed that way. What I was trying to convey with the phrase “to be in accord with the fact” was “imitate the actual” (by being happy and harmless). That is, from the perspective of the actual, the identity is an illusion and not actually existing. But that doesn’t change the fact that it does “exist” (this reminds me of “drawing the line between feeling and fact” all over again haha) and ‘I’ can align with the way things are in actuality by imitating it (thus being in accord with the fact). So I was communicating improperly by saying “to be in accord with the fact” when “imitating the actual” would have been better. It seems I was using the word sincerity incorrectly.
Hi Chrono,
Thank you for your reply and explaining what you wanted to convey. In the correspondence you linked to, Rick was attempting to cunningly prove that feelings are actual, therefore his whole line of reasoning was polluted.
What I meant by saying ‘sincerely acknowledging what is happening’ was more explicitly explained in this snippet of ‘Vineeto’s’ correspondence –
‘Vineeto’: I discovered various objections to acknowledging that I was an instinctually driven being were due to the moral and ethical values that I had absorbed in my early years at home and in school, administered by parents, teachers, priests and peers. And then I noticed the stumbling blocks of my idealistic dreams – how I wanted to be, how I thought I ought to be, how I dreamed I could be – and they often stood in the way of clearly seeing, feeling and understanding what was emotionally going on. (…)
For me the penny dropped when I realized that whatever I do, think, feel or imagine, ‘I’ can never escape ‘me’ – in other words, whatever reality ‘I’ am trying to create, ‘I’ remain always in situ. This insight also wiped off imagination as an option for improving my life in any way.
The ‘more felicitous reality’ that I experience in Virtual Freedom is not created by ‘me’ but it is the inevitable result of painstakingly removing the building blocks of ‘my’ beliefs, ideas, concepts, morals, principles, ideals, etc., thereby diminishing the grip of my instinctual passions. The ensuing vacuity of emotion-backed thoughts allows the felicitous (and innocuous) feelings to come more and more to the fore – an essential precursor to ensuring that one’s sensuous awareness is fact-based and not imagination-based. (Vineeto, AF List, No. 60f, 1.3.2005).
Perhaps the word ‘honest’ is more unambiguous for you when it comes to acknowledging, and if necessary, investigating, one’s feelings and beliefs in the process of ‘imitating the actual’?
When Richard explains sincerity, he certainly did not indicate that only someone actually free or in a PCE can be sincere –
Richard: And the key to unlocking naiveté is sincerity, pure and simple.
Respondent: Can one ‘try’ to be more sincere? Curious.
Richard: Sincerity, or any expansion thereof, is not a matter of trying: anybody can be sincere (about anything) – all it takes is seeing the fact (of anything) – and in this instance the perspicuous awareness of blind nature’s legacy being the arch-crippler of intelligence ensures one stays true to/ correctly aligned with that (that very factuality/ facticity seen).
And which (being aligned with factuality/ staying true to facticity) is what being sincere is … being authentic/ guileless, genuine/ artless, straightforward/ ingenuous. (Richard, AF List; No. 68d, 18 Oct 2005)
“Seeing the fact (of anything)” requires honesty, intelligence and perspicacity, being authentic, genuine and straightforward, but in general not a ‘self’-less experience. If sincerity was only possible during a ‘self’-less experience then how could sincerity be the key to naiveté?
It would be putting the cart before the horse. It seems you are unnecessarily complicating (sophisticating) the matter.
Vineeto: Of course, if you want to arrive before you start it’s a clear indication you are “jumping the gun” … and sincerely inquiring why you are going on this side-track will inevitably provide the answer and then you sort out what it right in front of you. Remember to get back to feeling good first.
Chrono: Yes I do seem to have that tendency to want to viscerally “jump over” issues. Basically not looking at what’s right in front of me right now but instead trying to jump ahead to know what it is and consequently having the opposite effect. Or the other thing I try to do sometimes is force the seeing and that also has the unintended effect. Very cunning I think. But I’ve been slowly bringing each one into light and these discussions are helping me see what I have been doing. Once again seeing that there are no shortcuts. And I ask myself why I would want to “jump over” and I can feel an angst and agitation continuously operating. Perhaps it will come more to light the more I question it and allow it.
Here is something ‘Vineeto’ discovered at the time –
‘Vineeto’ to Alan: I know at times I was as impatient as you seem to be and I consequently got upset when I still discovered another bit of ‘me’ and then another, until I realized that it was the very expectation that freedom should fall into my lap tomorrow that was preventing me from continuing to sincerely question every little bit that ever keeps me from being happy and harmless 24 hours a day. (Vineeto, AF List, Alan-e, 18.2.2002). [and, of course, enjoying and appreciating when there was no problem!].
It’s fascinating when you discover how “angst and agitation” are nearly continuously operating like a back-ground engine which keeps ‘me’ in existence. Again, it helps to put everything on a ‘it doesn’t really matter’ basis – this will slowly diminish the urgent quality of your instinctual passions and thus the need to control every move of your life. This passionate urgency seduces ‘you’ to fight against ‘yourself’ in the name of actualism, whereas when you recognize this pattern, you can get back to naïvely enjoying and appreciating being here, genuinely ‘imitating the actual’. Don’t look for problems (which in itself can be an addiction) – you only need to investigate when you are not felicitous/ innocuous, which your ongoing attentiveness will inform you of.
Chrono: I recently became more aware of a belief operating under this which goes like “there’s no way that this is possible (actual freedom)”. When I ask myself why, it felt like then that would mean I have been suffering my whole life for no reason. This is like some sunk cost fallacy and I know that’s how it is for everyone but I really believed that to be the truth (that life is supposed to be grim). It occurs to me “life could have been easy this whole time?”. I’m embarrassed because I have been serious my whole life and I didn’t have to be. Now I see that the belief morphed to a “I wish my suffering meant something” along with a strange feeling of running out of time.
Ha, you discover something that could be life-changing – that life is meant to be fun – and what does the identity do, automatically, ‘you’ make it into a problem! It’s a natural ‘self’-protecting reaction, and only informs you how cunning ‘I’ am when feeling in danger of exposure. Recognize the silliness and humour in the situation and voilà, the problem disappears.
Vineeto: What about the “feelings of warmth and belonging” – are you game to boldly go where you haven’t gone before and naïvely explore intimacy between fellow human beings in lieu of “warmth and belonging”?
Chrono: I am indeed, and the adventure part of it is that I turn away from all that I have known and take a step in the direction that I have never gone before. I can feel an automatic reaction then that to turn away means that “it’s a cold and lonely world out there” but I won’t fall for that this time.
Yes, you are getting better and better at this game of finding out how ‘you’ tick and how to distinguish between reactive emotion-backed thought and intelligence in action.
(…)
Chrono: I can see how it can be a balancing act between “holy” and “vulgar” as I have noted on many occasions that libidinal feelings flip into feelings of deep revulsion and disgust. And perhaps that’s all because of how I’ve approached sexuality. I’ve noticed that I actually do have this belief of uninhibited sensuality and sexuality being “vulgar”. Even writing this I am getting doubts whether I should because I am saying something I shouldn’t be saying. I’m being animalistic by considering it. It’s most likely ‘my’ way of interpreting where I have not gone before and intuiting what would happen were I to lift the lid. But I am aware of this now in a way I was not before and as you suggested I will not fall for either and look for the third alternative.
This quote from Richard’s journal (Richard’s Journal, 1997, Article Two) is a real eye-opener, how the dichotomy of all the moral and ethical injunctions one so obediently follows dates back to the qualities of enlightenment (the ‘Self’ or ‘God’) being the only acceptable alternative. And whenever you consider the third alternative of being naïvely and sensately/ sensuously intimate, doing something entirely new, those injunctions will do their utmost to keep you on the straight and narrow path. It all ties back to that life-changing discovery – that life is meant to be fun. Enjoy the thrill and adventure.
Chrono: I related a lot to what you wrote here:
VINEETO: I understand that well. Particularly in the first years of practicing actualism / attentiveness I wanted ‘time out’ from somehow not being here as the very things I noticed when I did apply attentiveness continually rocked ‘my’ world. But then again I had to understand that the method of actualism is to pay attention to being alive and only when I don’t enjoy being here then there is something to look at and to sort out and I came to see that my ambition to speed up the process by looking for problems (and resultant guilt when I didn’t) was only another way of not enjoying being alive. Eventually, the more beliefs/ attitudes/ opinions I questioned and dropped by the wayside, the easier it became to be here instead of retreating into ‘my’ familiar world of dreams and feelings. (Vineeto to Tarin, 21.8.2006)
Also here you wrote:
VINEETO: I remember well the first evening when I looked at Peter and saw him as just another human being – not as a partner, a mate, a member of the other gender, a lover, a sexual object, a valuable addition to my circle of friends, and not as someone who would approve or disapprove of me – simple another fellow human being. Suddenly the separation I felt was gone and there was a delicious intimacy, as ‘I’ was no longer attempting to force him to fit into ‘my’ world. (Vineeto to Tarin, 13.8.2006)
Chrono: As I was thinking on this, I noticed that I have some belief that to see my partner as “just another human being” makes them not special. And I am wondering what makes them special if they are just another human being. I realized that it’s the fact that they want to spend time with me and I want to spend time with them. And I am able to appreciate this fact much more now. Everything else is about ‘me’.
Yes, “just another human being” is more than a “belief” – when ‘I’ am in charge, that is how ‘I’ perceive and assess everyone, including oneself – nothing special, either with grey-coloured glasses – gloomy and hostile to ‘me’ – or rose-coloured glasses – loving and trusting towards ‘me’, and hence extensions of ‘me’ “part of ‘my’ world”, as ‘Vineeto’ said. In the second quote ‘she’ described what happened during a PCE, an apperceptive seeing. It was very startling and entirely new to ‘her’ experience.
Vineeto: The reason the described PCE (now snipped) was such a consequential event for ‘Vineeto’ because ‘she’ realised that every and all authority people assume stems from some god’s authority – god is the ultimate source for what is right and wrong, bad and good (=heaven and hell). All the values by which humans are socialised originate from the ‘Tried and Failed’ legacy of enlightened beings, gods and goddesses. Hence to realise that there is no room for god in an actual infinite, and perfect, universe, and the justification and ultimate origin of right and wrong disappears.
The same applies to your “authority of Humanity” and “the idea of caring”. While being caring and considerate are aspects of being harmless, the word “caring” in the real world is generally synonymous with feeling caring, i.e. giving out affective vibes of caring, sympathy and compassion, together with or even instead of practical caring. This is because humanity’s idea of caring is tightly linked to “putting the other before oneself”, being compassionate and self-less.
Ha, the role of being a ‘victim’ at first appears more virtuous but it is only the other side of aggression inherent to the instinctual passions in each and every feeling being. If you can recognize this and affectively acknowledge it, then neither repressing nor expressing the feeling might allow the third alternative to hove into view.
Also the question ‘why do I need power’ may be interesting to contemplate. Personally, I have no power whatsoever.
Chrono: Yes I did note that God had been the ultimate authority for ‘Vineeto’ and I can see it all come together for me right now. This need for power, authority, and caring seem to be linked and it has clicked for me in the last week. This is because as I’ve noted before that I’ve unwittingly been applying the “putting others before oneself” injunction. It’s actually related to my being a ‘victim’. It does appear that being a ‘victim’ is more virtuous in the real world and gives the false feeling that I am ‘powerless’. I am actually also exerting power by being a ‘victim’ but just not in an overt way. And I noticed that inherent to being a ‘victim’ is the belief that one is then worthy of being saved from harm and suffering. Almost like that by choosing to be a ‘victim’, I am being humble. And an extension of that is the belief that one can be saved by some Higher Authority or Savior. It is odd because I’ve never seen myself as believing in some Higher Power but I am acting and being as if there was. Perhaps there is more to unfold here.
Indeed, it is excellent you start seeing the bigger pattern, and how ultimately all ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, ‘good’ and ‘bad’ injunctions stem from the ‘Tried and Failed’ paradigm Richard described in his Journal, Article Two, you quoted above. When you understand this in its totality, it loses its virtue, attraction and power over you.
Chrono: I can see how pernicious “putting others before oneself” is because it takes all eyes off ‘me’ and ‘I’ can wreak further havoc. I was wondering “why do I need power” and the answer was only in relation to me being a ‘victim’. Where I am not a ‘victim’ (or an aggressor), there is no need for power. I can fully see what it is to be harmless now. And the subsequent discussions on it have clarified a lot. I can see how setting the bar as ‘no malicious feelings present’ does not necessarily mean that I am being harmless. It’s self-centricity itself which is the issue. And in practice I can already see how much more ease and harmony there is. Making harmlessness a top and first priority easily allows happiness to follow because I am considering both myself and the other.
Ah, this is wonderful. Diminishing ‘self’-centricity allows you to be increasingly naïve, liking yourself and others and discovering how much fun being alive really is. Here is a snippet from ‘Vineeto’ you might relate to –
‘Vineeto’: When I stopped supporting both my own feelings of sorrow and those of others I became increasingly aware of the extent to which my relationships were built upon mutual support for common grievances and loyal allegiances against what we perceived as difficult to deal with people, upsetting things and worrying events – in other words, when I sorted my own feelings out for myself I lost interest in other people’s sad stories and subsequently we had less in common to share. Friendships in the real world are by and large emotional allegiances against an adversarial world – where there is neither sorrow nor enemies, there is also no need for loyal and emotionally supportive friends. (Vineeto, AF List, No. 60f, 7.2.2005).
Vineeto: Can it be that you notice indignation more because you discovered how much ‘‘my’ whole point is to survive” ? You may find this familiar –
Richard: Speaking personally, the feeling-being inhabiting this flesh-and-blood body all those years ago instantaneously rid ‘himself’ of the bulk of those school-age hurts and slights—whilst sitting out in the sunshine one fine morning, putting pencil to paper in order to finally record those dastardly events for posterity, as per a long-held and cherished ambition to do so at length—via seeing-in-a-flash that, as it was simply not possible to ever physically be a child again (and thus juvenilely susceptible to not only those bully-boys and feisty-femmes but any enabling teachers and principals as well), there was absolutely no need whatsoever to continue nursing them as a carryover grudge. It soon became increasingly apparent, thereafter, how those childhood hurts had been vital to the maintenance of the righteous indignation which fuelled ‘his’ plaints of injustice (a.k.a. ‘unfairness’) and, thus, ‘his’ mission to bring justice (a.k.a. ‘fairness’) to the world. (Richard, Selected Correspondence, Aggression, 21 Jan 2016).
Chrono: It does make sense now that I think about it. It seems much of my childhood hurts have been held on passionately deep down and are the source of much of my railing against “the system”. I was on a trip with my partner this past week and we finished watching “Mr. Robot” and I related very deeply with the protagonist especially towards the end. I felt his hurts as my own and the indignation and hurt reached fever pitch. This post from Richard is indeed very familiar and timely as it helped backing out of it. I find myself sometimes thinking that I am supposed to hold onto these hurts and slights, otherwise I will let people walk all over me and take advantage of me. But I am an adult now aren’t I? Something further to unfold here which I will come back to.
Ha, here you have the old paradigm’s dichotomy again, being either angry/ indignant or being taken advantage of. It will be such a relief when you finally let go of “childhood hurts” and “railing against “the system””. Instead of looking for/ relying on emotional reactions to what you ought to do or avoid, why not make it a habit to assess each situation intelligently, in line with pure intent in order to work out if you can safely let go of your childhood hurts and resentments.
Richard: When I use the word ‘intelligence’ I mean the same thing as the dictionary definition of intelligence: the cerebral faculty of understanding (as in intellect) and with the quickness or superiority of understanding (as in sagacity) or the action or fact of understanding something (as in knowledge and/or comprehension of something) which means the ability to rationally and thus sensibly reflect, plan and implement considered activity for beneficial reasons … and to be able to convey information to other human beings so that knowledge can accumulate around the world and to the next generations. (…)
And now that intelligence has developed in the human animal the blind survival passions are no longer necessary – in fact they have become a hindrance in today’s world – and it is only by virtue of this intelligence that blind nature’s default software package can be safely deleted (via altruistic ‘self’-immolation in toto).
No other animal can do this. (Richard, AF List, No. 50, 19 Nov 2003).
Vineeto: A reminder before you are getting too deep into thinking about the serious problems of life – (snipped quote re humour)
Chrono: Also a great timely reminder haha.
Richard: (…) the human species has been doing its thing for at least 50,000 years or so – no essential difference has been discerned between the Cro-Magnon human and Modern-Day human – and may very well continue to do its thing for, say, another 50,000 years or so … it matters not, in what has been described as ‘the vast scheme of things’ or ‘the big picture’, and so on, whether none, one or many peoples become actually free from the human condition (this planet, indeed the entire solar system, is going to cease to exist in its current form about 4.5 billion years from now). All these words – yours, mine, and others (all the dictionaries, encyclopaedias, scholarly tomes and so on) – will perish and all the monuments, all the statues, all the tombstones, all the sacred sites, all the carefully conserved/ carefully restored memorabilia, will vanish as if they had never existed … nothing will remain of any human endeavour (including yours truly). Nothing at all … nil, zero, zilch. Which means that nothing really matters in the long run and, as nothing really does matter (in this ultimate sense) it is simply not possible to take life seriously … sincerely, yes, but seriously?
No way … life is much too much fun to be serious! (Richard, AF List, No. 25g, 22 Dec 2004).
Cheers Vineeto
(joking haha). I’m ready to embrace it as an adventure on the next occurrence.