Andrew

[Vineeto]

Andrew: Thanks so much Vineeto !
I have not had such a success as far as I can recall (excluding the possibility that I am cunningly not remembering it).
It’s a powerful imagination of mine right now to think of the weather you are probably experiencing right now, and yet such a detailed and thorough message from you has arrived in my journal.
I felt more encouraged by this success yesterday than perhaps ever before (excluding the possibility of me deliberately forgetting for cunning purposes).
I even remembered that the actualism method is the enjoy and appreciate, when the habit arose to become bogged down in some intellectualism about how I felt.
There has been a sense of space in front of my physical eyes. Like I can lean into the future, the world has space. When looking at flowers they are somehow more there. (link)

Hi Andrew,

I am responding to this post again because there has been no input from you or answer to my post to you (you may not even have read it yet) – instead you were busy philosophising and intellectualising on unrelated topics in great length on other threads.

I can only conclude from this that being “encouraged by this success” did not last very long, and you chose to escape into “Classic intellectualisation” which is the more familiar territory.

Do you really want to run away for the rest of your life because you are afraid to find out what you are afraid of, and prefer keep escaping into diversions of endless and fruitless philosophising and intellectualising? You don’t even know yet what it is you are afraid of because investigating your fear requires that you allow yourself to feel the feeling.

Maybe part of James’ conversations with Richard on a very similar topic may give you pause to absorb, contemplate and reflect on, and perhaps become fascinated by, what direction you want to give your life, after your short encouraging success with paying attention as to how you feel?

There is soo much more to life than intellectualising, fruitless rebellion, and ivory tower philosophising. Remember, you said “When looking at flowers they are somehow more there”?

James: … What comes to mind is I keep treading the same path over and over because that is what I know. That is what is familiar.
Richard: Indeed it is … so in order to successfully escape one needs to abandon the known path, the familiar path, the path that does not deliver the goods, so that the energy one is frittering away fruitlessly is available for the unknown path, the unfamiliar path, the path that does deliver the goods. (Richard, List B, James3, 1 Nov 2002)

Richard: In other words: do ‘I’ not continue to temporarily escape from being ‘me’ because permanent escape from being ‘me’ is the last thing ‘I’ am looking for? (Richard, List B, James3, 5 Nov 2002)

James: ‘I’ am stuck with ‘me’ (suffering) now. ‘I’ can’t see how to get past that.
Richard: As there has been a, perhaps predictable, retreat back into suffering (predictable as foreshadowed in ‘‘I’ want to hide from this inquiry’ and ‘‘I’ want to back out’ for example), then one starts with where one is presently at (where one is not yet at will emerge of its own accord as one proceeds): as you say ‘‘I’ am stuck with ‘me’ (suffering) now’ then for ‘me’ that is where ‘I’ am currently at.
Therefore, do ‘I’ feel the feeling of being stuck with ‘me’ (suffering) or not? If yes, then through staying with the feeling, by being the feeling (instead of trying to see how to get past that), one will find out, experientially, what it is really like to not have a path and/or not have a plan … other than the one of ‘looking for a way out’ so that one can stick with the known that is.
It sure beats armchair philosophising any day of the week. [Emphases added]. (Richard, List B, James3, 21 Nov 2002)

A change to more enjoyment and appreciation is in your hands and your hands alone.

Cheers Vineeto

[Andrew]

Thanks for the follow up, Vineeto.

Indeed a quick thankyou or acknowledgement on my part would have been polite. Sorry about that.

To your conclusion that I have retreated into classical intellectualisation, and forgotten the success, I will have to consider that a bit more.

I was definitely becoming engaged in the evolution of consciousness discussion, and struggled to stay in a feeling good mood, and identified that I was pushing an agenda which I offered or decided to end the discussion if it was getting in Claudiu’s way. Perhaps ending it for my own peace of mind would have been more sensible. I was enjoying the “intellectualism” I guess, as it is stimulating to have thought about and even discussed the topic of Jayne’s book. It was this book that put the nail in the coffin , at least intellectually, regarding the existence of God.

The discussion with Scout was actually quite fun today. I was laughing and running around with a bowl of water seeing if I it would boil in the sun light!

On top of that, I was able to continue coding a trading strategy (my ongoing “Improve my lot” goal).

Spoke with my son who is 21 today, had a laugh, planned for some outings.

Went for a long walk, and generally was in a good mood.

All that being said, it’s a sound observation that all that intellectual and philosophical type discussion, or scientific discussion, does lead me to be in my head and not maximising feeling good, it is as you say “familiar territory”.

A sort of conditional feeling good, often flat, or even a bit anxious , as it is very dependant on what others are saying and writing and is easy to be caught up in feeling less than good and “grinding” harder on the intellectual discussion to try and feel good via it, rather than stopping and getting back to feeling good deliberately.

Cheers
Andrew

[Vineeto]

Andrew: Thanks for the follow up, Vineeto.
Indeed a quick thankyou or acknowledgement on my part would have been polite. Sorry about that.

Hi Andrew,

I don’t need an acknowledgement or an apology – the reason I wrote was to remind you that you started something beneficial for yourself and then went back to your age-old habit instead of persisting and following up on your initial success.

Andrew: To your conclusion that I have retreated into classical intellectualisation, and forgotten the success, I will have to consider that a bit more.
I was definitely becoming engaged in the evolution of consciousness discussion, and struggled to stay in a feeling good mood, and identified that I was pushing an agenda which I offered or decided to end the discussion if it was getting in Claudiu’s way. Perhaps ending it for my own peace of mind would have been more sensible. I was enjoying the “intellectualism” I guess, as it is stimulating to have thought about and even discussed the topic of Jayne’s book. It was this book that put the nail in the coffin , at least intellectually, regarding the existence of God.

It’s good to hear that Jayne’s book liberated you from your belief in God but if I remember correctly, that happened already years ago and there is no need to carry this gratitude (a feeling which binds you to the past) for ever and a day. Something you now can unburden yourself from.

Andrew: The discussion with Scout was actually quite fun today. I was laughing and running around with a bowl of water seeing if I it would boil in the sun light! On top of that, I was able to continue coding a trading strategy (my ongoing “Improve my lot” goal).
Spoke with my son who is 21 today, had a laugh, planned for some outings.
Went for a long walk, and generally was in a good mood.
All that being said, it’s a sound observation that all that intellectual and philosophical type discussion, or scientific discussion, does lead me to be in my head and not maximising feeling good, it is as you say “familiar territory”.

You are aware, are you not, that the actualism method is not to maintain feeling good at any price, for instance via pushing away any diminishment in feeling good by ignoration or distraction?

Perhaps a refresher of Richard’s recommendation is useful –

Richard: Before applying the actualism method – the ongoing enjoyment and appreciation of this moment of being alive – it is essential for success to grasp the fact that this very moment which is happening now is your only moment of being alive. The past, although it did happen, is not actual now. The future, though it will happen, is not actual now. Only now is actual. Yesterday’s happiness and harmlessness does not mean a thing if one is miserable and malicious now and a hoped-for happiness and harmlessness tomorrow is to but waste this moment of being alive in waiting. All one gets by waiting is more waiting. Thus any ‘change’ can only happen now. The jumping in point is always here; it is at this moment in time and this place in space. Thus, if one misses it this time around, hey presto, one has another chance immediately. Life is excellent at providing opportunities like this.
What ‘I’ did, all those years ago, was to devise a remarkably effective way to be able to enjoy and appreciate this moment of being alive each moment again (I know that methods are to be actively discouraged, in some people’s eyes, but this one worked). It does take some doing to start off with but, as success after success starts to multiply exponentially, it becomes progressively easier to enjoy and appreciate being here each moment again. One begins by asking, each moment again, ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive’?
Note: asking how one is experiencing this moment of being alive is not the actualism method; consistently enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive is what the actualism method is. And this is because the actualism method is all about consciously and knowingly imitating life in the actual world. Also, by virtue of proceeding in this manner the means to the end – an ongoing enjoyment and appreciation – are no different to the end itself. (…)
As one knows from the pure consciousness experiences (PCE’s), which are moments of perfection everybody has at some stage in their life, that it is possible to experience this moment in time and this place in space as perfection personified, ‘I’ set the minimum standard of experience for myself: feeling good. If ‘I’ am not feeling good then ‘I’ have something to look at to find out why. What has happened, between the last time ‘I’ felt good and now? When did ‘I’ feel good last? Five minutes ago? Five hours ago? What happened to end those felicitous feelings? Ahh … yes: ‘He said that and I …’. Or: ‘She didn’t do this and I …’. Or: ‘What I wanted was …’. Or: ‘I didn’t do …’. And so on and so on … one does not have to trace back into one’s childhood … usually no more than yesterday afternoon at the most (‘feeling good’ is an unambiguous term – it is a general sense of well-being – and if anyone wants to argue about what feeling good means … then do not even bother trying to do this at all).
Once the specific moment of ceasing to feel good is pin-pointed, and the silliness of having such an incident as that (no matter what it is) take away one’s enjoyment and appreciation of this only moment of being alive is seen for what it is – usually some habitual reactive response – one is once more feeling good … but with a pin-pointed cue to watch out for next time so as to not have that trigger off yet another bout of the same-old same-old. This is called nipping it in the bud before it gets out of hand … with application and diligence and patience and perseverance one soon gets the knack of this and more and more time is spent enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive. And, of course, once one does get the knack of this, one up-levels ‘feeling good’, as a bottom line each moment again, to ‘feeling happy and harmless’ … and after that to ‘feeling perfect’.
The more one enjoys and appreciates being just here right now – to the point of excellence being the norm – the greater the likelihood of a PCE happening … a grim and/or glum person has no chance whatsoever of allowing the magical event, which indubitably shows where everyone has being going awry, to occur. Plus any analysing and/or psychologising and/or philosophising whilst one is in the grip of debilitating feelings usually does not achieve much (other than spiralling around and around in varying degrees of despair and despondency or whatever) anyway. (Richard, Articles, This Moment of Being Alive).

Andrew: A sort of conditional feeling good, often flat, or even a bit anxious, as it is very dependent on what others are saying and writing and is easy to be caught up in feeling less than good and “grinding” harder on the intellectual discussion to try and feel good via it, rather than stopping and getting back to feeling good deliberately. (link)

Here you gave a precise description how feeling good diminished and you used your old coping tactics, which you know don’t work in the long run. Why not try something new for a change. Stop and feel out what lies underneath this feeling a bit “flat”, or “anxious”. By allowing to feel it you can get the information what is wrong, what is the cause – be it some ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ you have violated and which validity you can now question, some deeper feeling being covered up or perhaps just a habit which on inspection makes no sense to continue. Here is a perfect way to make your intelligence work for your well-being instead of only abstract discussions (which can be fun). When more persistent feelings happen, then the quote I sent in my last post applies –

Richard: Therefore, do ‘I’ feel the feeling of being stuck with ‘me’ (suffering) or not? If yes, then through staying with the feeling, by being the feeling (instead of trying to see how to get past that), one will find out, experientially, what it is really like to not have a path and/or not have a plan … other than the one of ‘looking for a way out’ so that one can stick with the known that is.
[Emphasis added]. (Richard, List B, James3, 21 Nov 2002)

See how you go and don’t give up before you start.

Cheers Vineeto

[Andrew]

Thanks Vineeto,

Indeed, I was wondering about those moments that I clearly was flat or anxiety about the discussion was there, what was the attraction to continue? Why persist past while it’s clear I did let myself “forget” the recent success?

I can see I need to be far more “ruthless” in catching this habit. I had really only been considering intellectualisation in relation to how I deal with feelings. With the endless complications and theory, and rumination, etc…but the flip side is when the habit is “somewhat” enjoyable, but in a very rollercoaster way. Where I am persuing a point, or trying to convince someone, or teach, or save, or appear smart, or let some mission take over, which has a feeling of obligation to it.

I will keep looking into these feelings that arose over the last 2 days that did turn the “flower being more there” into normal me, intellectualising and basically ignoring the obvious, I was not feeling good anymore, and I was justifying it habitually.

That’s very cool though, that the habit can be worked on all the time! The feelings can be experienced because I am not tempted to intellectualise them, and further not lose contact with the feelings because I am habitually intellectualising about everything else too!

[Vineeto]

Andrew: Thanks Vineeto,
Indeed, I was wondering about those moments that I clearly was flat or anxiety about the discussion was there, what was the attraction to continue? Why persist past while it’s clear I did let myself “forget” the recent success? I can see I need to be far more “ruthless” in catching this habit.

Well, in a recent post you talked about being a friend to oneself – being “ruthless” doesn’t sound very friendly. Why not be interested, attentive, fascinated (as you would be with an interesting person you meet) and discover and explore what within the human condition (for which you are not to blame) is preventing you from freely enjoying and appreciating this very moment of being alive, the only moment you can actually experience.

Andrew: I had really only been considering intellectualisation in relation to how I deal with feelings. With the endless complications and theory, and rumination, etc … but the flip side is when the habit is “somewhat” enjoyable, but in a very rollercoaster way. Where I am pursuing a point, or trying to convince someone, or teach, or save, or appear smart, or let some mission take over, which has a feeling of obligation to it.

Yes, one gets into a groove with some habits, particularly when the new and unknown way of living appears to be somewhat daunting. Richard described his own experience –

Richard: ‘I’ asked myself, each moment again: ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive’?
It was a bit of a chore to start with, but as success after success started to multiply exponentially, it became automatic to have this question running as an on-going thing … because it delivered the goods right here and now … not off into some indeterminate future. [Emphasis added]. (Richard, List B, No. 19, 17 Mar 1998).

Andrew: I will keep looking into these feelings that arose over the last 2 days that did turn the “flower being more there” into normal me, intellectualising and basically ignoring the obvious, I was not feeling good anymore, and I was justifying it habitually.

You’ll be amazed how much you discover and learn about yourself, and thus about the human condition in general, when you stop ignoring (and pat yourself on the back for catching it) and allow the prevalent feeling to inform you what is going on underneath the surface. But get back to feeling good first before you attempt any deeper exploration else an emotionally charged thinking-process will lead you round in circles.

Andrew: That’s very cool though, that the habit can be worked on all the time! The feelings can be experienced because I am not tempted to intellectualise them, and further not lose contact with the feelings because I am habitually intellectualising about everything else too! (link)

Excellent. Have fun in your adventure of uncovering the mystery of ‘you’.

Cheers Vineeto

[Andrew]

Thank Vineeto,

I thought twice about using the word “ruthless”, and decided it was appropriate because it did not feel personal.

Though, now I think in this moment, a feeling of a very young ‘self’ learning this habit to ‘survive’ does need the space to explore without any ruthless over-tones.

I spent many spare moments contemplating how to approach this, without devolving in yet another ‘intellectualism’.

Gentleness, and knowledge that I will fail, and will try again, seems the way forward.

Because of the way this habit squashes feelings, and the way it easily seems to be intelligent to think in certain ways, it’s quite tricky.

I had a reasonable day. This contemplating was continually there.

What is intellectualisation? Am I doing it now?
How does that thing I am looking at seem? Do I seem closer to it? Or am I further away? Is there the feeling of excitement still there? Did I forget already?

Am I lost now, or am I exploring something new?

The trap of ‘intellectualisation’ is just how thorough it is. How completely it takes over.

I am encouraged that it’s going to take more than a casual effort to make headway, because something about it is “all encompassing”.

The very word “intellectualisation” is one of the English words that sounds like what it describes! Like “Splash”, or “Discombobulated”.

I like that in all these years there is a single word I can go back to and say, “this has been so much of ‘my’ existence, most of my waking moments! I wonder what life will be like on the other side of it?”

I appreciate what you said after Richard died, that there was an opening to push through. You didn’t use those words, something to the effect of making the most of an opportunity.

There really is something happening.

I won’t speculate though.

Cheers
Andrew

[Vineeto]

Andrew: Thank Vineeto,
I thought twice about using the word “ruthless”, and decided it was appropriate because it did not feel personal. (…)
Gentleness, and knowledge that I will fail, and will try again, seems the way forward.

Hi Andrew,

What is wrong with “be interested, attentive, fascinated (as you would be with an interesting person you meet)”? – you would be far more involved and thus successful than merely being “gentle”, which has the connotation of being cautious.

Richard: The potent combination of attention, fascination, reflection and contemplation produces apperception, which happens when the mind becomes aware of itself. Apperception is an awareness of consciousness. It is not ‘I’ being aware of ‘me’ being conscious; it is the mind’s awareness of itself. Apperception – a way of seeing that can be arrived at by reflective and fascinating contemplative thought – is when ‘I’ cease thinking and thinking takes place of its own accord … and ‘me’ disappears along with all the feelings. Such a mind, being free of the thinker and the feeler – ‘I’ as ego and ‘me’ as soul – is capable of immense clarity and purity … as a sensate body only, one is automatically benevolent and benign. (Richard, Articles, This Moment of Being Alive)

Andrew: Because of the way this habit squashes feelings, and the way it easily seems to be intelligent to think in certain ways, it’s quite tricky.
I had a reasonable day. This contemplating was continually there.
What is intellectualisation? Am I doing it now?
How does that thing I am looking at seem? Do I seem closer to it? Or am I further away? Is there the feeling of excitement still there? Did I forget already?

The best way to find out if you are intellectualising is to check if you are feeling good or if something has diminished your enjoyment and appreciation.

Andrew: Am I lost now, or am I exploring something new?
The trap of ‘intellectualisation’ is just how thorough it is. How completely it takes over.

The best way to find out if you are intellectualising is to check if you are feeling good or if something has diminished your enjoyment and appreciation.

Andrew: I am encouraged that it’s going to take more than a casual effort to make headway, because something about it is “all encompassing”. The very word “intellectualisation” is one of the English words that sounds like what it describes! Like “Splash”, or “Discombobulated”.

Ha, that’s a good word – etymology: ““Discombobulate” is considered a pseudo-Latinism, meaning it’s a word that sounds like it’s from Latin but is actually a made-up word.” It has indeed a meaningful connection to intellectualisation in that it sounds sophisticated but has no merit in fact.

Andrew: I like that in all these years there is a single word I can go back to and say, “this has been so much of ‘my’ existence, most of my waking moments! I wonder what life will be like on the other side of it?”

You didn’t perchance leave out the ‘n’ in “my waking moments”?

Andrew: I appreciate what you said after Richard died, that there was an opening to push through. You didn’t use those words, something to the effect of making the most of an opportunity.
There really is something happening.
I won’t speculate though. (link)

It is never too late to join the party, it’s in full swing, naiveté reigns supreme.

Here is what I wrote at the time –

Vineeto: This is an eventuous moment – and I deeply appreciate all your responses.
Take the shock and the reminder of mortality and move this affective energy towards even more determination to become actually free now so that Richard’s discovery and evolutionary breakthrough in human consciousness can spread around the globe with each and every one of you being the catalyst for that.
Allow any affective energy of shock or sadness to transform and express itself as a deep and abiding appreciation – for Richard’s discovery and words, for the fact that an actual freedom is available now – and further a deep and abiding appreciation for the purity and perfection that exists everywhere around you, both in the natural world (the Four Affect-Free States of Matter) and in human beings including your own flesh-and-blood body (as a potential, apparent in your and other people’s kindness, brought to the fore by your own deep and ongoing appreciation of each person you come in contact with).
Now is the time, don’t waste the opportunity, there is immense potential in this moment, the energy of appreciation freely available in the pure web of human consciousness (called ‘action potential’) to be tapped into if you only allow it. It may be overwhelming at first but it can melt down any barriers you might still have and … set you free.
It is very strange and quite overwhelming at times – I realized that I am now Richard as well as me because we were so intimate as only two fully actually free people can be, hence I am writing words I would have never written before.
Regards and appreciation. (link, 7 July 2024)

Cheers Vineeto

[Andrew]

My wanking moments! Haha. Intellectual masturbators anonymous!

Hi, my name is Andrew. It has been 1 minute and 23 seconds since my last intellectualism.

[Andrew]

My day began in the usual way, tired, not looking forward to the freeway, but generally wanting to keep making a go at the actualism method and rid myself of this habit of intellectualising and mental culpicity in ‘my’ continued ‘existence’.

Driving in the peak hour traffic, I had an extended amount of time to consider what could work. The instructions are clear enough, have been clear for something like 13 years now, it’s the approach that has been lacking.

After considering that I rarely even know definitely why I am feeling less than good, it seemed sensible that the first thing to do was to listen attentively to myself explain how am am feeling. The goal being to keep talking and keep listening. No jumping in like an obnoxious person who already ‘knows’ what is wrong.

So, I did this. I did this multiple times during the day. Just asked myself how am I experiencing things, and listening to my best efforts to discover what each feeling and thought is. And then , nothing more than that. No hypothesis, no moralistic ‘actualismisms’ no half remembered theory, or psychological pontificating.

Just internal talking, listening, follow up questions. Rinse and repeat at many times during the day and I am genuinely in a good mood.

That’s a win.

[Vineeto]

Andrew: My day began in the usual way, tired, not looking forward to the freeway, but generally wanting to keep making a go at the actualism method and rid myself of this habit of intellectualising and mental culpicity in ‘my’ continued ‘existence’.
Driving in the peak hour traffic, I had an extended amount of time to consider what could work. The instructions are clear enough, have been clear for something like 13 years now, it’s the approach that has been lacking.
After considering that I rarely even know definitely why I am feeling less than good, it seemed sensible that the first thing to do was to listen attentively to myself explain how I am feeling. The goal being to keep talking and keep listening. No jumping in like an obnoxious person who already ‘knows’ what is wrong.
So, I did this. I did this multiple times during the day. Just asked myself how am I experiencing things, and listening to my best efforts to discover what each feeling and thought is. And then, nothing more than that. No hypothesis, no moralistic ‘actualismisms’ no half remembered theory, or psychological pontificating.
Just internal talking, listening, follow up questions. Rinse and repeat at many times during the day and I am genuinely in a good mood.
That’s a win. (link)

Hi Andrew,

An excellent approach – and it worked to put you “genuinely in a good mood”!

Listening to how you feel you will be able to get rid of various habits that managed to get you in a bad mood before and with this way of listening, i.e. paying attention, and awareness to how you feel, they cannot be maintained.

As long as you don’t hold any of your feelings at arm’s length via your previous habits, you will notice that instead of having a feeling, you are the feeling.

Should this feeling be an unpleasant feeling, then, by being the feeling, it is easy to choose being a pleasant, felicitous feeling instead.

Cheers Vineeto

[Felipe]

@Andrew

My wanking moments! Haha. Intellectual masturbators anonymous!

Hi, my name is Andrew. It has been 1 minute and 23 seconds since my last intellectualism.

As a fellow overthinker, recently I was at a cafe thinking about your recent posts, and it occurred to me that there’s a lack of a word to denominate the equivalent of intellectual but for a person that pursues feeling-related affairs, just like an intellectual or a philosopher does so with thought-related affairs. I even asked the Google AI and it suggested new terms like “emotionalist” or “sensualist”, lol.

So, just like an intellectual or a philosopher seeks a particular truth/solution via a logical/rational method, an emotionalist/sensualist does something similarly but with feeling-based methodologies and tools.

If you think about it (and then feel about it), the personal implication of this differentiation is huge. Personally, I usually get stuck when I spend too much time in my head just juggling the symptoms, rather than go to the heart and address and handle the causes directly. Basically, I tend to spend too much time using the incorrect tools to solve the problem at hand.

Now that I think about it more, there’s a reason why it was hard for most here to grasp what actualism was all about, even after decades of the method being public. The method was about feeling all along, and we didn’t quite realize it (to this day even, at least fully, in my case).

Similarly, when you talk about actualism to other people, look how they automatically categorize it as a philosophy or a religion/spiritual pursuit. There seems to be a lack of a word to hit the nail on the head (perhaps a challenge/opportunity to “market” it better? haha).

Speaks volumes of Richard and his discovery, perhaps creating a new category.

[Kub933]

Isn’t the word simply experiential?

[claudiu]

Or actualist

[Andrew]

Hmm, the categories are there, but maybe because 'intelectulism ’ rules the dictionaries, there are not the obvious words for the opposite?

Maybe when “emotional intelligence” was invented as a term, this was the first time the whole category got a name?

Funny though.

I never really was that intelligent when it counted. The shear number of dumb decisions makes the whole thing rather silly.

The feeling I get is that people try to get some sort of edge in the cut throat world of ‘survival’.

It takes a huge amount of intellectualising to make up for a lack of emotional power.

And emotional power is very much driven by reproductive and survival instincts. So, it’s just another game in the same feeling based arena.

Having said that, I am still literally alive and typing. So, whatever temptation there is to condemn 'intelectulism ', falls as flat as condemnation of ‘emotionalism’.

They are both choices young ‘selves’ make, before they even know a choice is being made.

[Vineeto]

Felipe: Now that I think about it more, there’s a reason why it was hard for most here to grasp what actualism was all about, even after decades of the method being public. The method was about feeling all along, and we didn’t quite realize it (to this day even, at least fully, in my case).

Hi Felipe,

Are you really suggesting that not only you but also most people (as in not just I but we all) were unable “to grasp what actualism was all about” because they did not understand that “the method was about feeling all along”?

Here is one quote from the go-to page for the actualism method, in the first paragraph under the second banner (I have highlighted the words ‘feeling’ and ‘affective’ (‘characterised by emotion; affectional, emotive’. (WordNet 2.0).) for your convenience –

Richard: This perpetual enjoyment and appreciation is facilitated by feeling as happy and as harmless as is humanly possible. And this (affective) felicity/ innocuity is potently enabled via minimisation of both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ feelings. An affective awareness is the key to maximising felicity and innocuity over all those alternate feelings inasmuch the slightest diminishment of enjoyment and appreciation automatically activates attentiveness. [Emphases added]. (Richard, Articles, This Moment of Being Alive)

The inserted tooltip in this paragraph makes it even more clear –

[Respondent]: Could you list some examples of what you’d classify as ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings and what you’d classify as felicitous/ innocuous feelings so I could keep an eye out for them.
[Richard]: As a broad generalisation: the ‘good’ feelings are those that are of a loving (ardent feelings of profound affection and endearment) and a compassionate (empathetic feelings of deep sympathy and commiseration) nature; the ‘bad’ feelings are those that are of a malicious (spiteful feelings of intense hatred and resentment) and a sorrowful (melancholy feelings of yawning sadness and grief) nature; the felicitous feelings are those that are of a happy and carefree (blithesome feelings of great delight and enjoyment) nature; the innocuous feelings are those that are of a harmless and congenial (gracious feelings of ingenuous tranquillity and affability) nature.
The following may be of particular interest:

• [Richard]: ‘The felicitous/ innocuous feelings are in no way docile, lack-lustre affections … in conjunction with sensuosity they make for an extremely forceful/ potent combination as, with all of the affective energy channelled into being as happy and harmless as is humanly possible (and no longer being frittered away on love and compassion/ malice and sorrow), the full effect of ‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being – which is ‘being’ itself – is dynamically enabled for one purpose and one purpose alone. (…) The actualism method is not about undermining the passions … on the contrary, it is about directing all of that affective energy into being the felicitous/ innocuous feelings (that is, ‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being, which is ‘being’ itself) in order to effect a deliberate imitation of the actual, as evidenced in a PCE [a pure consciousness experience], so as to feel as happy and as harmless (as free of malice and sorrow) as is humanly possibly whilst remaining a ‘self’.
Such imitative felicity/ innocuity, in conjunction with sensuosity, readily evokes amazement, marvel, and delight – a state of wide-eyed wonder best expressed by the word naiveté (the nearest a ‘self’ can come to innocence whilst being a ‘self’) – and which allows the overarching benignity and benevolence inherent to the infinitude, which this infinite and eternal and perpetual universe actually is, to operate more and more freely. This intrinsic benignity and benevolence, which has nothing to do with the imitative affective happiness and harmlessness, will do the rest.
All that was required was ‘my’ cheerful, and thus willing, concurrence’. [Emphases added]. (Richard, AF List, No. 60f, 29 Sep 2005).

(Richard, AF List, Ricka, 22 Jun 2006).

Just out of curiosity, what did you think, for all those years, the actualism method “was about”?

Felipe: Similarly, when you talk about actualism to other people, look how they automatically categorize it as a philosophy or a religion/ spiritual pursuit. There seems to be a lack of a word to hit the nail on the head (perhaps a challenge/ opportunity to “market” it better? haha). (link)

Perhaps it would make more sense, when you introduce your particular … um … philosophy of actualism to others, to rather share your own experiential discoveries instead of a method you obviously have not yet understood even in principle. Possibly, your own difficulty in explaining actualism to others is because you are lacking experiential expertise/ confirmation (and not because of the lack of a word to describe the actualism method and aim). Besides, what good is ‘marketing’ when it’s misleading?

You could also watch out for a tendency to blame something else (i.e. the method and missing words) instead of finding the causes for the lack of expected results in your own misunderstanding –

Richard: What I have observed over many years is that a normal person has a propensity to blame – to find fault rather than to find causes – when it comes to dealing with the human condition … if for no other reason than that finding the cause means the end of ‘me’ (or the beginning of the end of ‘me’).
Whereas endlessly repeating mea culpa keeps ‘me’ in existence. (Richard, List AF, No. 27c, 9 Sep 2002).

I wish you speedy success now, in feeling happy and harmless, as you seem to begin to grasp “what actualism was all about”. A re-read of the instructions and associated webpages might be useful. (Library, Topics, Method). Some answers to the frequent questions and common objections could also be informative.

Cheers Vineeto

[Andrew]

Naivete is something I have been afraid of because I am mistaking it for something else!

I am afraid of the consequences ‘I’ insert after naivete is there.

So, to use Peter and Vineetos chart, which is a divergence diagram.

A moment of ‘naivete’ happens. (the closest a ‘self’ can be to innocent).

Then, a moment of ‘blind desire’ happens.

Then a moment of ‘morality’ happens.

I am sequencing them, but I feel them all together.

My fear of naivete, is entwined with unrequited desire, and resentment of morality.

However, a moment of “wide eyed wonder, of joyous celebration, of playful abandon” is nothing to be afraid of, frustrated about, or angry towards!

[Andrew]

Better said;

‘naivete’ doesn’t need to follow onto blind desire, and thus necessary but unpleasant morality.

Squashing desire with morality has horrible “collateral damage”, a feeling and experience of ‘naivete’ is squashed with it.

Like drinking bleach. It will kill the bugs, but it kills me too!

[Andrew]

Anyway, back to the diagram;

It’s the other unknown path, the other fork on the diagram that is still unexplored.

Normal ‘me’ experience of naivete; buy motorcycle. Fly to other side of world after a girl. Start misguided business…etc etc.

Nothing “wrong” with these activities, but they failed to bring freedom, because they are what they are, desire tacked onto the initial naivete.

What’s the other path like? The one that diverges into feeling good without needing a particular desire fulfilled?

[Vineeto]

Andrew: Naivete is something I have been afraid of because I am mistaking it for something else!
I am afraid of the consequences ‘I’ insert after naivete is there.
So, to use Peter and Vineeto’s chart, (link) which is a divergence diagram.
A moment of ‘naivete’ happens. (the closest a ‘self’ can be to innocent).
Then, a moment of ‘blind desire’ happens. Then a moment of ‘morality’ happens. I am sequencing them, but I feel them all together.

Hi Andrew,

So you discovered Peter’s map and you figured that the next thing to tackle is naiveté. And without reading any further, you jump right in and ‘blind desire’ and ‘morality’ happens. Have you ever used Cabots paint? Here is what it says on the tin – “if all else fails, read the instructions” – they know of people’s tendency to assume they already know what to do.

First let me clarify – this is not naiveté as Peter and Richard describe it –

To be naïve is to be like a child again but with adult sensibilities.

Richard: To be naïve is to be virginal, unaffected, unselfconsciously artless … in short: ingenuous. Naiveté is a much-maligned word, having the common assumption that it implies gullibility. Nevertheless, to be naïve means to be simple and unsophisticated. (Library, Topics, Naivete).

I recommend to read and immerse yourself in as much information as you can find at the links of the above library page in order to get a flavour of this state of being which of course would be quite new to you.

Andrew: My fear of naivete, is entwined with unrequited desire, and resentment of morality.

You also said –

Andrew: Normal ‘me’ experience of naivete; buy motorcycle. Fly to other side of world after a girl. Start misguided business … etc, etc. Nothing “wrong” with these activities, but they failed to bring freedom, because they are what they are, desire tacked onto the initial naivete. (link)

Your ideas, and hence your perception of naiveté sound more like the description of the opposite of depression in a bi-polar personality – unsustainable. Hence your “fear of naivete” is derived from an imagined naiveté (you wouldn’t have been like this as a child, I presume) and you are quite right to avoid such behaviour or attitude.

Andrew: However, a moment of “wide eyed wonder, of joyous celebration, of playful abandon” is nothing to be afraid of, frustrated about, or angry towards! (link)

Yes. Here is another enticing description from Richard –

Richard: Maybe it is suffice to say at this stage that I do stress how essential the pure intent of naiveté is … yet because ‘naïve’ and ‘gullible’ are so closely linked (via the trusting nature of a child in concert with the lack of knowledge inherent to childhood) in the now-adult mind most peoples initially have difficulty separating the one from another. Perhaps it may be helpful to report that, when I first re-gained naiveté (which is the closest a ‘self’ can approximate to innocence) at age 33 years, I would exclaim to whoever was prepared to listen that ‘it is like being a child again … but with adult sensibilities’ (naïve but not gullible). I was soon to discover, however, that being child-like is not it – children are not innocent – and that innocence is totally new to anyone’s experience (it is just that a child is more prone to readily allowing the moment to live one, from time-to-time, than a cynical adult is). (Richard, List B, No. 25f, 22 June 2000)

Now how to you access that? Reach back into your earliest memories and discover the hidden-away-during-puberty childhood naïveté, the one which was driven out of you because it was “entwined with unrequited desire, and resentment of morality” and gullibility. You can nevertheless ‘disentwine’ those attributes, and attentively, in a friendly way, encourage naiveté whilst making sure to distinguish it from impulsiveness and gullibility.

Andrew: What’s the other path like? The one that diverges into feeling good without needing a particular desire fulfilled? (link)

Ha, it’s the same path that you have been travelling along since our recent conversations – which you reported worked well. It’s called the actualism method. Here is some more – you’ll find the word naiveté there too –

Richard: One simply needs to look at the physical world and just know that this enormous construct called the universe is not ‘set up’ for us humans to be forever forlorn and feisty in with only scant moments of reprieve. ‘I’ can realise here and now that it is not and can never be some ‘sick cosmic joke’ that humans all have to endure and ‘make the best of’. ‘I’ will feel foolish that ‘I’ have believed for all these years that the ‘wisdom of the real-world’ that ‘I’ have inherited – the world that ‘I’ was born into – is set in stone. This foolish feeling allows ‘me’ to get in touch with ‘my’ dormant naiveté, which is the closest thing one has that resembles actual innocence, and activate it with a naive enthusiasm to undo all the conditioning and brainwashing that ‘I’ have been subject to. When ‘I’ look into myself and at all the people around and see the sorrow and malice in every human being, ‘I’ can not stop. ‘I’ know that ‘I’ have just devoted myself to the task of setting ‘myself’ and ‘humanity’ free … ‘I’ willingly dedicate my life to this most worthy cause. It is so delicious to devote oneself to something whole-heartedly – the ‘boots and all’ approach!
‘I’ become obsessed with changing ‘myself’ fundamentally, radically, completely and utterly. [Emphases added]. (Richard, Articles, This Moment of Being Alive)

It takes a while to get the knack and the courage to get used to the simplicity of naiveté but it is well worthwhile and truly fun when you do (and don’t let ‘me’, the sabotaging controller redefine/ spoil the game).

Cheers Vineeto

[Kub933]

Hey Andrew,

I came across this quote on Facebook this morning that made me think of your recent explorations. I am not sharing it for any ‘wisdom’ that it apparently carries but rather because it demonstrates very well the modus operandi of an “intellectualiser”, and just how silly it is.

Recently you described your past habit of not using “‘squotes’ simply because it always seemed to be an attempt at fitting in” and that you eventually saw this to be silly and getting in the way of clear and therefore constructive communication. In general your writing style has often been in the flavour of “stream of consciousness / off the cuff”, the kind of communication that is perhaps not yet fully fit for consumption .

And indeed every ‘deep thinker’ (intellectualiser) is afraid of being understood (seen clearly) and therefore ‘they’ are invested in making sure ‘they’ are misunderstood, which means ‘they’ have reason to be unclear. For the intellectualiser the more obfuscation the better because it means that ‘I’ get to play that game forever, and never risk being changed by the discovery of a fact.

So what may appear as simply “not trying to fit in” or just being somewhat “off the cuff” really is a fear of commitment. Because to genuinely enquire means ‘you’ might find out, and then ‘you’ will be changed. Indeed this is what the ‘deep thinker’ fears, so much so that ambiguity, obfuscation and even hypocrisy can be made into virtues. The more unclear the better… the archetype of which would be the mystic (and I write this because I remember you writing of your past involvements with this kind of thing).

But of course you have now discovered the alternative to all this (which is sincerity and naiveté) so I am writing this as I thought it might spur some further discoveries for you in this area.