Thanks Vineeto,
Indeed, I was wondering about those moments that I clearly was flat or anxiety about the discussion was there, what was the attraction to continue? Why persist past while it’s clear I did let myself “forget” the recent success?
I can see I need to be far more “ruthless” in catching this habit. I had really only been considering intellectualisation in relation to how I deal with feelings. With the endless complications and theory, and rumination, etc…but the flip side is when the habit is “somewhat” enjoyable, but in a very rollercoaster way. Where I am persuing a point, or trying to convince someone, or teach, or save, or appear smart, or let some mission take over, which has a feeling of obligation to it.
I will keep looking into these feelings that arose over the last 2 days that did turn the “flower being more there” into normal me, intellectualising and basically ignoring the obvious, I was not feeling good anymore, and I was justifying it habitually.
That’s very cool though, that the habit can be worked on all the time! The feelings can be experienced because I am not tempted to intellectualise them, and further not lose contact with the feelings because I am habitually intellectualising about everything else too! 