Thanks for the follow up, Vineeto.
Indeed a quick thankyou or acknowledgement on my part would have been polite. Sorry about that.
To your conclusion that I have retreated into classical intellectualisation, and forgotten the success, I will have to consider that a bit more.
I was definitely becoming engaged in the evolution of consciousness discussion, and struggled to stay in a feeling good mood, and identified that I was pushing an agenda which I offered or decided to end the discussion if it was getting in Claudiu’s way. Perhaps ending it for my own peace of mind would have been more sensible. I was enjoying the “intellectualism” I guess, as it is stimulating to have thought about and even discussed the topic of Jayne’s book. It was this book that put the nail in the coffin , at least intellectually, regarding the existence of God.
The discussion with Scout was actually quite fun today. I was laughing and running around with a bowl of water seeing if I it would boil in the sun light!
On top of that, I was able to continue coding a trading strategy (my ongoing “Improve my lot” goal).
Spoke with my son who is 21 today, had a laugh, planned for some outings.
Went for a long walk, and generally was in a good mood.
All that being said, it’s a sound observation that all that intellectual and philosophical type discussion, or scientific discussion, does lead me to be in my head and not maximising feeling good, it is as you say “familiar territory”.
A sort of conditional feeling good, often flat, or even a bit anxious , as it is very dependant on what others are saying and writing and is easy to be caught up in feeling less than good and “grinding” harder on the intellectual discussion to try and feel good via it, rather than stopping and getting back to feeling good deliberately.
Cheers
Andrew