Excellent, this is very helpful in understanding you and also in understanding my own relationships.
I can see that I have judgmentally misunderstood and underestimated you. I appreciate you clearing this up.
Looking forward to hearing more about your journey.
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How wonderful! And this outcome is always guaranteed as long as there is a willingness to stick with the topic long enough for the facts to be discovered and for the fiction to be stripped away. As Richard wrote :
This maintains my view that beliefs, fiction, always lead to dispute, disagreements, fights, and in the long run, war. Facts always bring people together in concert and therefore promote peace
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And @Sonyaxx has just demonstrated that this the case also! We are currently looking into getting married so that she is able to remain in the UK long term. Now I don’t have much interest in the cultural aspects of marriage with all the various customs and traditions around it. I was considering whether it makes sense to follow any of these customs, especially blowing a load of money on engagement and wedding rings.
Either way the point is that this entire area would normally be a minefield of holy cows, so many expectations, so many beliefs, so much pressure from friends and family etc. All in all extremely volatile territory to be poking around in… and poke around we did 
The way that conversation panned out would be simply impossible if either of us were still under the spell of the ‘tried and true’ ways, too many precious values and beliefs would have been trampled all over in the process. It would be blasphemy to dare to poke around in these things.
To my delight @Sonyaxx was able to blast through this area without getting stuck in any of those feeling patterns, although she mentioned some feelings came up, some beliefs were seen, but that is exactly the point. All of that which is fiction was experienced and mercilessly exposed until the facts were discovered, what a way to relate! And the outcome of course exactly as Richard wrote -
“Facts always bring people together in concert and therefore promote peace”
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Glad to know you had success in this area @Kub933.
I am going through a similar situation, however as my partner is not an Actualist, she is very much under the spell of marriage traditions, engagement rings, weddings and the like 
For me it doesn’t make sense to follow any of these customs, but it doesn’t really matter to me either. I can pay “lip service”, so to speak. Financially I’m not going to be ruined or anything. “I” am very threatened by having to do something not sensible though. Other than that, my partner is someone I’d like to continue to live with. But there is such a tremendous momentum to all this tradition that it’s difficult to stop it.
Sometimes I find it’s easier to go along with it. I wonder if you have any advice for me
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Interesting! Yes sounds like a very similar situation. In terms of specific advice I think in such a situation you are the most qualified to live your life. But I do have some observations around this topic that might be beneficial.
Yes I started from a similar standpoint, ultimately it doesn’t matter which way it plays out BUT it was clear that it was an area which was begging for some exploration.
You wrote :
So can you see that this “paying lip service” in this case is not clean? There is some conflict going on ‘inside’, which means there are beliefs to be exposed.
There is the option to “pay lip service” and yet right on the other side of it there might be some flavour of resentment - ““I” am very threatened by having to do something not sensible though” or maybe some flavour of fear - “But there is such a tremendous momentum to all this tradition that it’s difficult to stop it.”
One pays lip service because it is sensible, is it sensible in this case? The fun thing is that in the end it doesn’t matter which way it plays out, what matters is your freedom from this internal conflict. So you can enter this kind of exploration free from any preconceived notions as to what you should find at the end.
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There’s definitely some resentment here. My “lip service” is not clean, but rather a coping mechanism because I lack the fortitude to go deep sea diving into this massive belief structure. Or rather, when I have gone into these investigations I have always gone into self-hatred such as “why don’t you have the autonomy to dictate your terms in this situation?” and the like and it hasn’t yet proved fruitful.
And when I’m feeling good…it simply doesn’t matter what the outcome is. That’s the issue I have sometimes with the actualism method. I say I’ll investigate when I’m feeling good, but often I don’t care enough about the problem anymore. It seems that it is possible to be truly happy with very, very little and that most of “my” problems are not actually problems at all. But then am I just taking the easy way out? The path of least resistance and conflict? Who knows
Ah yes but isn’t that jumping from one belief to its opposite? From being meek to attempting to be powerful (or hating oneself for not being powerful haha)? And still the sensible answer has not been found. Is it that you are entering the investigation with a tacit assumption - one that says something along the lines of “I should not have to go along with their demands”.
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Yeah I guess I have a deep belief in personal power, as in I should be able to do whatever I want and no one should be able to force their will upon me. Isn’t this what autonomy is? This belief is definitely backed by feelings of fear though, like if I give in to someone’s demands, I will lose control of my life and become a puppet or pawn. Something like that
Yes nice, I was looking for this quote just now and I found it, it is very pertinent here :
Welcome to The Actual Freedom Mailing List … your phrasing ‘the confidence of a fact’ is well put: facts are liberating, not only of opinions, but of choice and decision: the marvellous thing about a fact is that one can not argue with it. One can argue about a belief, an opinion, a theory, an ideal and so on … but a fact: never. One can deny a fact – pretend that it is not there – but once seen, a fact brings freedom from choice and decision. Most people feel, and thus think, that choice implies freedom – having the freedom to choose – but this is not the case. Freedom lies in seeing the obvious, and in seeing the obvious there is no choice, no deliberation, no agonising over the ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’ judgement.
This is a great one to contemplate on here. Can you see that in this case you are equating autonomy with the freedom to choose (or should I say the power to choose)? As in ‘I’ am free to make ‘my’ decisions, whereas all ‘my’ life ‘I’ conceded to ‘their’ decisions. It is the seeing of a fact which provides freedom from both ‘their’ way as well as ‘my’ way, it is the end of the internal conflict.
Autonomy then is freedom from dominion, both ‘internal’ and ‘external’, the freedom to live in accord with facticity, it has nothing to do with ‘my’ freedom/power to choose. Wow this is so much fun!
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As to this one I have found that sooner or later those beliefs will need to be looked at. Basically they will lay dormant waiting for the next similar situation to activate them. Of course you want to get back to feeling good asap but eventually nothing can be swept under the rug.
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I came across some art yesterday and I noticed how much I enjoy looking at it. But there was something there, some flavour that came out whenever I looked at these images.
I realise that l was rememorating a world where ‘I’ and ‘humanity’ never existed. It is a world utterly free from the influence of ‘being’, a magical fairy tale like world.
I realise that this fairy tale like quality is precisely because ‘being’ and ‘humanity’ have never existed there. That flavour is of the final destination, and I have visited that place and walked around in it as a flesh and blood body only.
So now it is about having the confidence to proceed towards this final destination. To allow this body to live in that unimaginable fairy tale like world, irrevocably.
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Continuing with the above here :
So it appears that the issue at core is around this old dichotomy of free will vs determinism, this is the lens I have been viewing the situation through.
I can see that ‘I’ as a separative entity can only view life as either having dominion or being under dominion. Being forever separated from actuality ‘I’ can only view ‘myself’ as either some disembodied ‘prime mover’ or merely an object being deterministically acted upon.
‘My’ conceptions of what agency or autonomy are all about are wrapped up within these constructs. I can see that both ‘me’ as a psychic entity and ‘I’ as a psychological entity arrogate ‘myself’ over life as it actually happens. This has been made even clearer through the recent articles.
‘I’ am forever locked out of time and forever locked away from being here which means that whatever dramas ‘I’ have around free will or determinism are simply projections, it is a story of ‘my’ life which happens as it were parallel to life as it actually happens, except that not a shred of it is genuine.
I have seen this many times over the years, that all the various interactions and events that happened in ‘my’ life never actually took place. So it is ‘me’ worrying about what this body will do when ‘I’ am gone without realising that ‘I’ never had any genuine say in the first place. It is like a paradox, an illusory entity worrying about it’s illusory role in actuality, whilst keeping this actual flesh and blood body chained, ‘my’ worry about what things will be like in actuality (when ‘I’ am gone) is keeping this body chained.
So I can see @Vineeto’s recommendation was on point :
Yes, the actual world cannot be imagined and neither can ‘being’ conceive of ever not ‘being’ and this is truly “funny to consider that ‘I’ might even try” . It will save you a lot of head-ache to not even try.
What I can see is that ‘my’ conceptions of autonomy or agency and how these would look like in actual freedom can only ever be faulty, because ‘I’ will construct them from the only tools which exist in reality (such as free will / determinism), and the product will be a monster that ‘I’ will waste time wrestling with, this monster is ‘my’ construct and so it cannot be an accurate depiction of what life is like in actuality.
Indeed it is the confidence which comes from the experience of pure intent which paves the way forward. I can taste the flavour of what it is like, but ‘I’ cannot posses it, because ‘I’ can only translate it back in ‘my’ language and distort it.
All this talk about progressing into full actual freedom is making it seem to me like I am still stuck playing a kids game 
Especially the below seems to have kicked me back into gear :
Richard being the first only had his own experience to go by when he started writing about an actual freedom, until others became vitally interested, and then some succeeded in becoming free and one in becoming fully free. These events all added enormous information to the data pool but also may give the impression, and the expectation, that everyone can succeed as easily as Richard and Vineeto. Hence all the complaints that the method doesn’t work and isn’t as easy as depicted, and so on. This is cutting edge of human evolution in consciousness, something never seen or experienced before !!! And it needs true pioneers.
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Kuba: So it appears that the issue at core is around this old dichotomy of free will vs determinism, this is the lens I have been viewing the situation through.
I can see that ‘I’ as a separative entity can only view life as either having dominion or being under dominion. Being forever separated from actuality ‘I’ can only view ‘myself’ as either some disembodied ‘prime mover’ or merely an object being deterministically acted upon.
‘My’ conceptions of what agency or autonomy are all about are wrapped up within these constructs. I can see that both ‘me’ as a psychic entity and ‘I’ as a psychological entity arrogate ‘myself’ over life as it actually happens. This has been made even clearer through the recent articles.
Hi @Kuba,
You said it well, it is always the real-world affective/social-identity perception of two opposites and the third alternative only hooves into view when you reject them both and turn to the memory of your PCE/pure intent as your guide. This has been so with many problems you have already solved this way and will be so with any further problems you devise in order to postpone the last step. You already know that and how you can resolve any problem you come up with, it’s a successful pattern.
As I said to you before on September 30 –
”This last step is something entirely new in your life and is necessarily a jump from the known into the unknown (which you had glimpses of). But you cannot reason it out in advance – you cannot rely on your trusted sensible pattern of action.
That’s why Richard emphasizes that actualism is not scientific, it is experiential.
To succeed, you will have to dare to care, to care so deeply that you dare to do something, to allow something to happen, that has never happened to you before. This aspect of it is an immense daring and hence it needs a deep and abiding caring – and then, in the blink of an eye, you are here, here where you belong.” [emphasis added].
There comes a time when you, with the supreme confidence born of the memory of your PCE, take the last leap into the unknown, i.e. the inconceivable, which the ‘self’ can never conceive of.
And to drive the point home what lies ahead –
RESPONDENT: What kind of peace?
RICHARD: It is not only both a personal peace (as in calmness, tranquillity, serenity, and so on) and an interpersonal peace (as in harmony, amity, cordiality, and so forth) but the ultimate peace of having attained to one’s destiny (as in fulfilment, satisfaction, contentment, and so on) whereupon the meaning of life lies open all about … complete with an utter security or an absolute safety the likes of which is inconceivable/ incomprehensible and unimaginable/ unbelievable to any identity whatsoever.
There is a vast stillness here in this actual world. (link)
Kuba: All this talk about progressing into full actual freedom is making it seem to me like I am still stuck playing a kids game Especially the below seems to have kicked me back into gear :
Vineeto: Richard being the first only had his own experience to go by when he started writing about an actual freedom, until others became vitally interested, and then some succeeded in becoming free and one in becoming fully free. These events all added enormous information to the data pool but also may give the impression, and the expectation, that everyone can succeed as easily as Richard and Vineeto. Hence all the complaints that the method doesn’t work and isn’t as easy as depicted, and so on. This is cutting edge of human evolution in consciousness, something never seen or experienced before !!! And it needs true pioneers.
This is music to my ears.
Not that Richard or even Vineeto had it all that easy – Richard was trapped in institutionalized insanity (spiritual enlightenment) for 11 years (link) and then had 30 months of a “macabre and gruesome transition phase” in which he was “determining the validity of uncharted territory” (link), and Vineeto practised the actualism method for 11 or so years until she could finally take advantage of the newly opened “direct route” and become newly free – without any smidgen of Richard’s difficult transition phase for having been the first pioneer. Hence it is now demonstrably easier for other pioneers to continue the exploration into the evolution of human consciousness of enabling peace-on-earth whilst nevertheless being at the historically significant stage of true pioneers.
What a grand time to be alive.
Cheers Vineeto
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Haha well this really highlights what I have been doing, devising further problems to solve. And it is a successful pattern in a sense, this is that practicality of working through the human constitution which I always enjoyed about the method from the start. As Peter wrote somewhere it always seemed eminently sensible to just roll my sleeves up and begin chipping away. And I did successfully chip away at so many things. But this successful pattern is like a distraction now, I can always find the next thing to chip away at whilst remaining a feeling being.
Whilst all that chipping away can be done in the meantime, this has absolutely nothing to do with it. This is clear now from the recent discussions. I would like a situation where I can chip away until the last issue resolves and then boom - actual freedom, but it is not at all like that.
As you and Richard mentioned to Geoffrey in the Australia Q&As - there is no link at all between the application of the method, between chipping away at the social identity and self immolation. It is a separate event altogether and cannot be ‘trained for’ in that sense.
It’s like I thought that all this “in the meantime” business would be training me for the last event, to make it easier. But it seems the option to self immolate has been here all along, it could have been taken at any point, it did not require any training and it will not be made easier by any training.
I remember reading (in disbelief) the story of the lady who flew in to visit Richard and was actually free shortly after, this makes sense now.
So it’s funny really because all these various tools I have been sharpening over the years whilst applying the method, they have no use for self immolation, and I have always been particularly bad at proceeding without knowing what is ahead, not a pioneer at heart at all 
It’s a little like these BJJ shorts I have which have printed on them - “you can’t teach heart”, this is how I feel.
Although I can pinpoint a couple of events which required that I allow something to happen which I cannot plan in advance. The first one was having the first PCE after starting the method, it seemed like I was chasing the impossible, but after 6 months or so it happened, I couldn’t believe it but it happened!
The second was stepping out from control, this had that same flavour of proceeding somewhere where I haven’t visited before and therefore I couldn’t work it out in advance, and yet all this energy was needed to proceed.
So I am clearly capable of it, it is more that all the various tools and techniques I was taught throughout my life cannot prepare me for this event. @jamesjjoo has/had his habit of reducing things to a single sentence and I have my habit of wanting to have the territory meticulously charted out before any motion forward.
Whereas what is needed is to be a pioneer, even though it has been done before I am a pioneer by virtue of proceeding into the unknown.
There is 1 aspect I find very freeing in the prospect of being a pioneer though, which is that there is no need to get bogged down in the ‘how to’, no need for processes and rules and regulations. No need to wait at all.
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Kuba: Whilst all that chipping away can be done in the meantime, this has absolutely nothing to do with it. This is clear now from the recent discussions. I would like a situation where I can chip away until the last issue resolves and then boom - actual freedom, but it is not at all like that.
As you and Richard mentioned to Geoffrey in the Australia Q&As - there is no link at all between the application of the method, between chipping away at the social identity and self immolation. It is a separate event altogether and cannot be ‘trained for’ in that sense.
It’s like I thought that all this “in the meantime” business would be training me for the last event, to make it easier. But it seems the option to self immolate has been here all along, it could have been taken at any point, it did not require any training and it will not be made easier by any training.
Hi @Kuba,
Yes and no. There is no link and, as you worked out before, there is no requirement from the actual world to enter. But most people feel more confident when they are experientially well acquainted with the subject matter.
Kuba: Although I can pinpoint a couple of events which required that I allow something to happen which I cannot plan in advance. The first one was having the first PCE after starting the method, it seemed like I was chasing the impossible, but after 6 months or so it happened, I couldn’t believe it but it happened!
The second was stepping out from control, this had that same flavour of proceeding somewhere where I haven’t visited before and therefore I couldn’t work it out in advance, and yet all this energy was needed to proceed.
So I am clearly capable of it, it is more that all the various tools and techniques I was taught throughout my life cannot prepare me for this event. @jamesjjoo has/had his habit of reducing things to a single sentence and I have my habit of wanting to have the territory meticulously charted out before any motion forward.
Whereas what is needed is to be a pioneer, even though it has been done before I am a pioneer by virtue of proceeding into the unknown.
Well, everything you have done “in the meantime” has gained you confidence and experience so that you are now sufficiently equipped to dare to do the third step into the unknown – first a PCE, second going out-from-control and the third will be leaving your ‘self’ behind.
You do have pioneer qualities after all. The question now is, how to pinpoint the best moment to activate them.
Kuba: There is 1 aspect I find very freeing in the prospect of being a pioneer though, which is that there is no need to get bogged down in the ‘how to’, no need for processes and rules and regulations. No need to wait at all.
With no “processes and rules and regulations” you are free to choose the right moment for ‘you’, the identity, to be in full agreement to lay down ‘your’ burden and go into the secretly yearned-for oblivion.
‘Vineeto’ had several reasons for ‘her’, the identity, which drew her forward – there was a growing uneasiness of knowing ‘she’ was a fake, an imposter. Then there was an every-increasing awareness of a deep desire for oblivion, and an acute awareness of evil, felt as psychic vibes and currents, in others and by extension in herself. And lastly there was a caring, grown out of a deeply felt, at times, painful awareness of all the mayhem and misery which humans do to humans – and ‘she’ wanted to be instrumental to help bringing it to an end. I wrote to you about it on 24 September.
You’ll gather your own motivations for making the supreme sacrifice of what ‘you’ hold most dear, more dear than “wanting to have the territory meticulously charted out”, and find the right moment to allow it to happen and go blessedly into oblivion.
Ah, what an adventure!
Cheers Vineeto
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So I woke up today to the recognition that life is already always happening of it’s own accord. I remember the experience which got me back onto the wide and wondrous path about 5 years ago was that of experiencing my breath breathe itself, it was after taking some LSD and I immediately recognised the flavour to be the same to the PCE I had at 18.
It was utter freedom, there was no need for anything ‘external’ or ‘internal’ to support life, it was already happening, what a relief, what a burden dropped. It only lasted about a second or so but it was complete and utter freedom from the burden of ‘being’.
This is exactly what I seem to have activated this morning, it is ‘me’ giving ‘myself’ the green light to finally drop the burden.
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Ahh this reminds me of a time I was supremely upset with my partner, and somehow a PCE happened right then and there. Not only did the upset completely disappear but so too did the ‘person’ that a bad thing could happen to such as to be upset!!
It was remarkably freeing and there’s nothing quite like something like that to show how superior apperceptive consciousness really is
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So I have been having fun investigating self esteem / self worth. I can see this aspect of the human condition is what underpins most of the themes which remain. The archetype which I can narrow the thing down to is one of the ‘messiah’. This is the ‘key’ which ‘I’ use to enter and to seek safety in the various ‘groups’. Essentially ‘I’ am constantly driven to achieve and succeed, to mine these ‘golden nuggets’ which ‘I’ can then trade with ‘humanity’ in exchange for a feeling of belonging.
This desperate need to belong however is a beast that needs to be fed over and over, it never rests. Which means ‘I’ lock ‘myself’ in the never ending pursuit for the next ‘golden nugget’. This archetype of the ‘messiah’ is a tricky one to see for what it is, because this desperate need for a feeling of validation is masked by ‘doing good for others’ or ‘seeking excellence to uplift others’.
It’s like ‘I’ want to be Jesus, bringing light to those below ‘me’ and in doing so solidify ‘my’ place in the group forever, ‘I’ will then be forever needed.
But this set up is rotten in many ways, firstly ‘I’ am chained by ‘my’ obligation to continue bringing light to others, to continue living up to this identity of ‘messiah’. In seeking self esteem / self worth ‘I’ stand in the way of that which is genuine. Secondly this structure inevitably gets in the way of equity and parity, ‘I’ cannot help but despise those ‘below me’ to whom ‘I’ am bringing the light. Not only because they were not capable of doing it themselves but also because ‘I’ am forever obligated to assist them, this burden ‘I’ choose to carry in exchange for ‘my’ place in the group.
The funny thing is that I never wanted any of this, it is just that somehow I only saw 2 options, to be a ‘nobody’ - to disappear in the ‘sea of others’ OR to fabricate a place for ‘myself’ in the group, to ensure that ‘I’ am recognised by the group by attaining some special status. Yet being special ultimately ends in aloneness, even if ‘I’ succeed in climbing to the very top of that ladder.
The thing which I always wanted deep down was to be free to be me as I am, to be genuine, to be original and to be authentic. In short to exist completely outside of this structure of the ‘group’, of belonging, of identity etc.
So @jamesjjoo it looks like you were onto something in your posts to me recently, there was indeed this pesky aspect of social identity which remained. It is funny writing this out because it becomes immediately apparent how silly it all is. Do ‘I’ seriously hold ‘myself’ as some ‘messiah’? So what do ‘I’ truly think of other human beings then? It can’t be that ‘I’ hold them in equity and parity for sure.
Furthermore I can see that this psychic/psychological creation called ‘the group’ is a projection in itself, it has no existence outside of the psyche. It is an archetype bestowed by blind nature and made sophisticated by ‘human wisdom’. To see ‘groups’ and to fit into those ‘groups’, then to seek safety within those ‘groups’.
Which means that as a ‘group member’ ‘I’ am forever bound to continue distinguishing ‘myself’ from others in the ‘group’, thus locking ‘me’ into the values and beliefs of the ‘group’.
Furthermore ‘I’ am inevitably wired to fight others in the ‘group’ to protect ‘my’ position and thus ensure ‘my’ safety.
Then on top of this ‘I’ am wired to see ‘other groups’ and continue playing out that same game but just on a different scale.
Now the truly rotten thing is that none of this is actual, so it is all over nothing.
So ‘I’ have been keen to find that something ultimately precious which ‘I’ will be willing to give up ‘myself’ for. This seems to be in the right direction, the freedom to be me as I am for one and all.
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Richard wrote in his journal :
These simple things are the very stuff of the joy of life … I do not need the stimulation of frenetic ‘busyness’ to enhance my day with a self-induced sense of importance. I no longer have to justify my existence here on earth by doing and achieving something that is considered ‘worthwhile’ by the denizens of the real world
This I am discovering also, because I notice there has always been this voice (which is ‘me’) whenever there was not much going on, it was a need to go ‘do something’ as opposed to ‘doing nothing’. There would be a feeling of boredom, but the more I looked into it the more meaningless it was to separate some things as ‘doing something’ and others as ‘doing nothing’. Afterall this moment is already always happening.
So what is this ‘doing something/nothing’ dichotomy based on? It is based on the need to continue mining those ‘golden nuggets’ which ‘I’ can trade back with ‘humanity’ for a feeling of acceptance, self worth etc. And so boredom is self induced, it is the feeling that ‘I’ must do something now to continue earning ‘my’ self worth, and this can never ever stop. So the feeling of boredom itself arises out of the need to do something ‘productive’ as seen through the eyes of ‘humanity’.
This was always a great challenge for ‘me’, to ‘do nothing’. To allow enjoyment and appreciation outside of this whole realm of achievement.
I can see now that it is a fork in the road, for to allow perennial enjoyment and appreciation I cannot remain trapped in that system at all, this system of ‘earning ‘my’ reward’ is directly opposed to perennial enjoyment and appreciation, they could not be more at odds. So ‘I’ have to be willing to completely give up ‘my’ self worth in order to allow enjoyment and appreciation. There will be nothing left of it by the end.
Ha if this is not an example of peasant mentality I don’t know what is! “Please sire accept this golden nugget I found and gift upon me some crumbs” 
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Kuba: So I have been having fun investigating self esteem / self worth. I can see this aspect of the human condition is what underpins most of the themes which remain. The archetype which I can narrow the thing down to is one of the ‘messiah’. […]
This desperate need to belong however is a beast that needs to be fed over and over, it never rests. Which means ‘I’ lock ‘myself’ in the never ending pursuit for the next ‘golden nugget’. This archetype of the ‘messiah’ is a tricky one to see for what it is, because this desperate need for a feeling of validation is masked by ‘doing good for others’ or ‘seeking excellence to uplift others’.
It’s like ‘I’ want to be Jesus, bringing light to those below ‘me’ and in doing so solidify ‘my’ place in the group forever, ‘I’ will then be forever needed.
Hi Kuba,
That is a pretty hungry “beast” indeed the way you play it out.
What ‘Vineeto’ discovered the further ‘she’ inquired into her ‘self’ is that this entity which dictated ‘her’ life is deep down very fragile, very insecure and the reason is that ‘she’ knew that this entity is fake, a mountebank, a fraud, a confidence trickster – and therefore not only in need to constantly justify ‘my’ existence but also to have others confirm ‘my’ existence (hence the need to belong).
You may have observed when you believe something (but are not quite sure), you need allies, whereas when you know something for a fact, you don’t need anyone to confirm that to you, you just know.
The more ‘Vineeto’ became enthusiastic to the point of being obsessed with actual freedom, the more ‘she’ became autonomous and confident, because ‘she’ didn’t waste energy to constantly hide ‘her’ fraudulent existence but instead was actively endevouring to expose it of ‘her’ own accord. The focus changed.
There was still a desire to ‘change the world’, to help the plight of humanity, but ‘she’ had now a clearer vision – become actually free and by this very act do something beneficial for everyone who wants to also be free from the burden of being run by the instinctual passions. In fact, ‘she’ dedicated ‘her’ life to it.
Kuba: The thing which I always wanted deep down was to be free to be me as I am, to be genuine, to be original and to be authentic. In short to exist completely outside of this structure of the ‘group’, of belonging, of identity etc. […] So ‘I’ have been keen to find that something ultimately precious which ‘I’ will be willing to give up ‘myself’ for. This seems to be in the right direction, the freedom to be me as I am for one and all.
It looks to me that the only thing you need to realize, and then actualize, is to get your priorities right and everything will fall into place.
You can “be original and […] authentic” and still be “‘doing good for others’” and “‘seeking excellence to uplift others’” – in fact much, much more efficiently – by genuinely caring, not for your own validation but for everyone’s actual benefit. Caring so much that you dare to show the way, not only to set everyone free from your own insalubrious identity (every identity is insalubrious) but also lead by example how easy it is to walk out of the human condition and to leave ‘yourself’ behind. And when you are without ‘self’ no one is below you and no one is above you either.
Now wouldn’t that be a genuine and thoroughly beneficent archetype, hey?
Cheers Vineeto
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