The future looks grim. Fortunately, I don’t live in the future. I live in the now and right now I’m still on my feet and managing my pain.
I have an appointment with a top back surgeon on Monday who specializes in minimally invasive surgery on the back. He might can help me or it might be another dead end.
Either way I will keep dealing with the facts as they present themselves.
In the meantime I feel good right now and am managing to enjoy and appreciate.
It was good to read @claudiu and @Kub933 recently talk about what there is to do is be sensuous. That also applies to me. I can still be sensuous no matter what my circumstances which will still enhance my enjoyment and appreciation.
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I wonder if it could be helpful or even paradigm shifting for you to experience the facts of your back condition whilst in a PCE. Specifically to experience the back condition anhedonically, that could be the end of this obstruction / resentment.
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I haven’t had a PCE in 2 or 3 yrs. It is helping me to apply sensuousness as suggested by you and Claudiu. I just thoroughly enjoyed a salad and a taco. I intend to keep being sensuous which could help me to experience my back condition hedonically as you suggested. Thru being sensuous a pce might happen. Thanks, I am feeling better already.
Yes this came to mind because of my experiences today which I wrote about here - Kub933's Journal - #1257 by Kub933.
It can all be so clean and so pure that I cannot see even pain being an issue.
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James: I haven’t had a PCE in 2 or 3 yrs. It is helping me to apply sensuousness as suggested by you and Claudiu. I just thoroughly enjoyed a salad and a taco. I intend to keep being sensuous which could help me to experience my back condition hedonically as you suggested. Thru being sensuous a pce might happen. Thanks, I am feeling better already.
Hi James,
Let me correct you with your own quotes, your last PCE was far more recent than “2 or 3 yrs” –
James:
7 Nov
It’s so wonderful here in the actual world.
And a few minutes later –
James:
7 Nov
Erased.
Followed by a post the next day –
James:
8 Nov
I am still waiting for the dust to settle. My experience of being in the actual world lasted for about 24 hrs. I am not actually free. My faded memory of it is it came on slowly and then faded after 24 hrs. I still have a lot of work to do.
I am now looking to get back on track and not fall completely back into the real world.
I was wondering what I need to do next instead of just enjoying and appreciating although I did e & a.
My experience of it was I was having a lot of fun in everything I did whether it was eating a cheeseburger or going to the doctor. I enjoyed interacting with everyone.
My pain was gone or not relevant.
ps: My catalyst was seeing there is no inner and outer world. There is only the actual world. (link)
Reawakening the memory of this astounding PCE can give you a reliable connection to pure intent.
As Claudiu demonstrated in his recent posts (link) (link) you might also have to attend to possible objections to feeling excellent and/or becoming actually free that might be still lurking unseen in the background.
Enjoy the discoveries and process.
Cheers Vineeto
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I went to see the spinal surgeon about my back today. He showed me on my MRI that I have a collapsed section of my lower back and my only option is to have spinal fusion which is major surgery and that there is only a 50% chance of it succeeding.
I am going to try and see the surgeon who would do that and see what he says. The good news is that if it succeeds my back will be fixed.
I am ready to face the fact of it at this point no matter what happens.
The fact right now is the pain is tolerable with pain meds and I still have limited mobility.
In the meantime I am enjoying and appreciating the fact that I feel good and am still able to function.
If Richard can do it I can do it.
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Hi James,
Richard was offered the same fusion operation with the 50% chance. He did research of what people said for whom it had failed.
Perhaps you want to do a similar research before you decide?
Cheers Vineeto
Thanks, I will. I take it that he didn’t get the fusion because of what people who had it said.
Hi James,
I rather not say – you need to make your own decision based on what you find out and how you assess the circumstances. It is different for everyone.
Cheers Vineeto
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Understood , that is a good answer.
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I keep worrying about having to get a serious and difficult operation that takes up to one year to recover from and only has a 50% chance of succeeding when right now I am doing fine.
I am sitting here typing feeling good and there is no pain. There is some pain when I walk and there is limited mobility but that is not real difficult to deal with.
I can still enjoy and appreciate right now without worrying about what might happen and right now is all there is. Right now the pain itself is not difficult to deal with and I am not suffering. Right now there is no reason not to enjoy and appreciate.
The pain might get worse and the pain meds might quit helping and I can deal with that when and if it happens.
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Sensuousness is working. As long as I’ve got sensuousness
along with enjoyment and appreciation then some pain and discomfort is no problem.
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