Hi Sonya,
OK but here you have entirely omitted how such a situation came about for you in the first place and so there is no chance of finding the root cause. How it came about in the first place is that you became overstimulated and irritated by the sound of me eating cereal next to you whilst you were napping and then became hellbent on making it into an argument. When I pointed out how unreasonable you were being (as we always have food in the living room etc) you stubbornly persisted in your annoyance, and then the anger on my side surfaced.
The anger is of course my business but I have to point something out - you cannot be shocked that someone - sooner or later - has a problem with you when you conduct yourself in an unreasonable manner. But it seems you do not pay attention to any of this, rather you come in 2 or 3 steps late and want to sever a relationship or desperately cut some cord of authority.
I am reminded of what Claudiu described a while ago -
”Then they brought up the immediate point, which is very relevant, of what is known in the “Burning Man” culture as a “glitter fairy” (or something like this). This is a person who is completely unaware of the impact of their own actions – they are just frolicking about, littering and disturbing the environment, but they themselves are having a good time. Is this person not being happy yet also remarkably selfish?”
It is as if in your reflective attention those prior events do not exist, there was just the glitter fairy frolicking about and then something bad and mean happened and now she wants to be free. Perhaps the reason why this investment - having me responsible for how you feel / expecting me to be gentle and kind 24/7 - continues is because you have not yet taken full responsibility for yourself. Furthermore if you are indeed interested in taking responsibility for yourself then I would also point out that it is rather odd that you are only motivated to post on here after you have had an argument with me, what is going on for all those other days. This is all rather reactive, why not be proactive.