Replying to this one here - Sonya’s journal - #188 by Vineeto :
Hi Vineeto,
Vineeto: The latest spat between you and Kuba (link and following) only shows that each has still plenty to look at.
That is a rather succinct way of describing it and I totally agree, and gosh looking at what is currently going on in the forum it looks like we may have infected others too! 
. It is instructive to read your response in Sonya’s journal and be reminded of what harmlessness looks like.
So now that I can look at it sensibly there is something useful that this “latest spat” (broadcasted publicly no less) highlighted for me.
Essentially it is that I cannot be harmless as long as there are ‘hooks’ in me or ‘buttons’ which can be pressed. And in fact that is exactly what everybody else is doing / has been doing already, in that everybody wants to be peaceful and harmonious and yet good intentions are simply not enough if one is carrying all these ‘hooks’ or ‘buttons’ which can and will sooner or later be activated. Then of course it is easier to apportion blame to the other, for having been “unreasonable enough” to trigger my response, and yet I am the one carrying those unexamined buttons. Also this sets in motion a race to pinpoint the first person who was “out of line”.
I see the above very clearly now, I mean it’s right in the open and cannot be ignored. The other related thing is that as long as those ‘buttons’/’hooks’ remain whatever ‘harmlessness’ I generate will be conditional, which means it will require that I change others in line with it, which means that sooner or later I have to resort to force, so then it is still not harmless! And thirdly, and this is exactly what I have been doing for years now - not wanting to engage in conflict I will resort to a quiet resentment against “all the unfairness, injustice etc”.
So I see this whole house of cards that has been exposed here, in that sense I am glad that those events took place, along with the “public broadcast” as there is no hiding now. So I am actually rather excited now, to see what ‘buttons’ exist in me and to attend to those so that a genuine and unconditional harmlessness can be discovered, exciting times!
And rest assured the vibes in the household have already shifted from a thunderstorm to white cloudy skies with some sun poking through 
.