To explain further: when out-from-control – out from being under control of the ‘controller’; that self-centred/ self-centric ‘doer’ (i.e., the ‘doer’ of deeds; the ‘actor’ of acts; the ‘speaker’ of words; the ‘thinker’ of thoughts; the ‘feeler’ of feelings) – the primary impetus of agency is the benevolence and benignity of pure intent being dynamically operative via the full concurrence of the ‘beer’[1] of those deeds, acts, words, thoughts, feelings (i.e., being the experiencing of same, as a state-of-being, as opposed to doing them).
And the words “primary impetus of agency” (‘impetus’ as in, “being dynamically operative”, that is) are used advisedly as, with the ‘doer’ abeyant and the ‘beer’ ascendant, the modus operandi of this mutual agency is indeterminable due to an incapacity to distinguish between the one and the other.
The ‘Beer’
• [Richard]: There is, of course, no ‘beer’ to be the experiencing of agency in actuality: here in the actual world this flesh-and-blood body is the agency itself; as such, this infinite and eternal and perpetual universe is experiencing its own infinitude, as an apperceptive sentient creature, and this is truly wonderful. ↩︎
RESPONDENT:In writing this and the other things I wrote this weekend somehow there is no effort involved (perhaps that shows!). My experience is just deep, round, soft, full, still, pleasure of moments of being here, and of understandings building on each other.
RICHARD: Good … yet one has to reach out – extend oneself – like one has never done before. One has to want peace-on-earth as the number one priority in one’s life. One has to desire freedom from the Human Condition to the point of obsession and beyond … it is that urgent and essential. And one does it for a two-fold purpose: for the good of oneself in particular and for one’s fellow humans in general.
RICHARD: The very fact of the propinquity of death became a pivotal element in taking the first step on the wide and wondrous path, back in 1981, when a neighbouring farmer’s fourteen-year old son was killed in a car crash. A woman from another farm, whilst telling me all about it, bemoaned the fact that his future as a potential concert-pianist was tragically cut short (quite a normal observation).
What struck me rigid for the nonce was the more valid fact that this boy had virtually missed-out on a normal childhood through being forced, by well-meaning parents of course, into endless hours of piano-practice while his siblings and peers were outside playing games (as children are wont to do). And now he was dead – it had all been for naught – and he would never, ever be able to come out and play.
From that moment on death was my constant companion; an ever-present reminder that to die without having ever lived fully – as in totally fulfilled, completely satisfied, utterly content – was such a waste of a life.
I would say to people, then, that were I to live that which the PCE’s had made apparent – as in an irrevocable permanency – for only five minutes I would then happily die.
The part that stood out to me: “were I to live that which the PCE’s had made apparent – as in an irrevocable permanency – for only five minutes I would then happily die”
RICK:It has been about a year now that I’ve been diligently applying the method and have not been able to remember nor experience one yet.
RICHARD: Maybe, just maybe, the activation of the amazement, the marvelling, and the wonderment, already mentioned above might be in order? And I only mention this because sensuosity is an integral part of the process of being as happy and as harmless as is humanly possible.
[…]
RICK:But I’m still feeling lost and I feel a well deserved PCE is what I need to put some focus, clarity and motivation in ridding the ‘parasitical entity inhabiting this flesh and blood body’. What to do?
RICHARD: Again, and especially as you mention feeling lost, come to your senses – literally – as much as is possible so as to better enjoy and appreciate being alive on this verdant and azure planet, which is simply floating/ hanging effortlessly in infinite space at this moment in eternal time, by cultivating the awareness that everything and everybody is coming from nowhere and nowhen and is, similarly, going nowhere and nowhen as everything and everybody only ever actually exists right now.
Put succinctly: there is nowhere/ nowhen else to be … this is it!
Richard: Is not ‘understanding’ something the same thing as ‘analysing’ something? To understand something is to intellectually grasp a concept successfully. This may be the activity of ‘I’ thinking as clearly as ‘I’ can possibly think, yet it is not the same clarity as the clear seeing obtained in an insight … and an insight is seeing the fact.
When one sees the fact there is action … and this action is the actualising of the insight so that one’s personality is changed, irrevocably. This change is the beginning of the ending of the ‘self’ one was born with. ‘I’ can not stand exposure to the bright light of awareness for too long without crumpling like a leaky balloon. ‘I’ survive only by being able to lurk around in the shadows of inattention and obfuscation.
‘I’ was born with the instinct to survive, and ‘I’ will do anything to stay in existence, for it is in ‘my’ nature to do so. Intellectually grasping a concept and calling it an insight is part ‘my’ game plan. The seeing of this fact is a direct experience of the actuality of the Human Condition. … this is actual wisdom. And out of that wisdom there is the essential intensity for the actualisation.
This actualisation is the ending of ‘me’ in ‘my’ entirety.
Richard: One of the main keys to success is a focus on time itself as a sensate experience. My oft-repeated refrain is this: ‘The first step to being free is the actual understanding that this moment in time is the only place where being alive happens. The past, although it was actual when it did happen, is not actual now. The future, although it will be actual when it does happen, is not actual now. Only now is actual and as it is always now then the purity of innocence is perpetually here already … where time has no duration. Then what one is – as this body being apperceptively aware – is this material universe experiencing itself as a sensate, reflective human being. The physical space of this universe is infinite and its time is eternal … thus the infinitude of this very material universe has no beginning and no ending … and therefore no middle. There are no edges to this universe, which means that there is no centre, either. We are all coming from nowhere and are not going anywhere for there is nowhere to come from nor anywhere to go to. We are nowhere in particular … which means we are anywhere at all’.
To be the consciousness of the infinitude … it is no little thing that one does.