Thank you for those quotes, they describe perfectly what I was getting at. The last quote (below) also touches on something I wanted to write about - the enormity/totality of ‘my’ extinction. Specifically in this quote it is clear that the correspondent can’t quite grasp that there is no ‘entity’ of any description inside the flesh and blood body called Richard to “CREATE thoughts” or “have free will” etc :
So I have been drawn lately to contemplate the enormity/totality of ‘my’ extinction, I have been getting glimpses of what it entails. That not only am ‘I’ erased in ‘my’ totality but it is also the end of the species known as ‘humanity’ - it is the end of all of that. So the totality/finality of ‘my’ extinction is indeed enormous, not a shred of ‘me’ to be found anywhere in the universe.
And whenever ‘I’ get a glimpse of this, it is exactly what ‘I’ want, it pulls ‘me’ forward, it is the most perfect destiny - for exactly that to happen.
Kuba: Hi Vineeto,
Thank you for those quotes, they describe perfectly what I was getting at. The last quote (below) also touches on something I wanted to write about – the enormity/ totality of ‘my’ extinction. Specifically in this quote it is clear that the correspondent can’t quite grasp that there is no ‘entity’ of any description inside the flesh and blood body called Richard to “CREATE thoughts” or “have free will” etc :
• [Co-Respondent]: ‘You think you have free will?
• [Richard]: ‘No.
• [Co-Respondent]: ‘What determines your actions?
• [Richard]: ‘The situation and the circumstances in the world of people, things and events.
• [Co-Respondent]: ‘Your thoughts – right?
• [Richard]: ‘Not necessarily … mostly ‘automatic pilot’ operates via habituation. Something new to experience requires thought … reflecting, comparing, evaluating, considering and then implementing. Altogether a rather delightful episodic event.
• [Co-Respondent]: ‘Do you control your thoughts?
• [Richard]: ‘This brain thinks thoughts perfectly without any ‘I’ or ‘me’ in there stuffing things up.
• [Co-Respondent]: ‘Where do they come from?
• [Richard]: ‘Are not thoughts neuronal activity betwixt the synapses? An electro-chemical process? As such they come from the calorific energy of foodstuffs plus oxygen from the air breathed.
• [Co-Respondent]: ‘Can you CREATE thoughts?
• [Richard]: ‘This brain thinks thoughts all of its own accord … easily, simply and fluently. It is altogether a marvellous occurrence’. (Richard, List C, No. 2a, 13 Mar 2000a) from (Sundry, FAQ69a, What is Will?).
So I have been drawn lately to contemplate the enormity/ totality of ‘my’ extinction, I have been getting glimpses of what it entails. That not only am ‘I’ erased in ‘my’ totality but it is also the end of the species known as ‘humanity’ – it is the end of all of that. So the totality/ finality of ‘my’ extinction is indeed enormous, not a shred of ‘me’ to be found anywhere in the universe.
And whenever ‘I’ get a glimpse of this, it is exactly what ‘I’ want, it pulls ‘me’ forward, it is the most perfect destiny – for exactly that to happen. (link)
Hi Kuba,
While it is fun to “contemplate the enormity/ totality of ‘my’ extinction”, the details of what happens and what happens after, will always remain unbelievable and unimaginable to ‘you’. What you can do is enjoy the “glimpse of this” enormity in wide-eyed wonder, knowing that it will deliver you to “the most perfect destiny”.
Here is how ‘Vineeto’ described this period in the Direct Route –
“I experienced an ever-increasing pull to move forward into what I clearly and unambiguously recognized as my destiny – an irrevocable freedom from the human condition. It set in motion a process that was to undo all of my remaining bonds to humanity, my residue of inhibitions, my last hesitations and any and all lingering doubts. Having finally arrived at being out-from-control, living the ‘beer’ rather then being the ‘doer’, filled me with a previously unknown confidence and certainty that ‘my’ redemption was indeed nigh.” (Actualvineeto, Claudiu2, 29 Oct 2024)
Because of the utmost certainty of knowing that ‘she’ was moving closer to ‘her’ destiny, it was a time full of delightment, wonderment and marvelling. Here is how I described it to you in June 2025 –
“For instance I remember that day we set off on the journey to our summer holidays in the remote rainforest wilderness, a two-day journey along the main river towards the long and winding tree-framed Bungawalbin Creek, ‘Vineeto’ was sitting on the bow deck while Peter was steering, and her heart was singing all the way because ‘she’ knew with utmost confidence that sometime during those 4-6 weeks of holiday “it” would happen, and every mile travelled brought ‘her’ closer to ‘her’ destiny. It was a glorious day and a wondrous journey, full of joyous anticipation. … And “it” did happen!” (link)
I am confident you will have a wonderful time at the convivium gathering.
Since being back from the convivium I have been consistently on that boundary where a PCE is imminent. What has clicked is that perfection is right here and right now, always. It is ‘me’ who is a “chinese finger trap” - what I meant when I wrote that ‘I’ am both the problem and the solution. And seeing this over and over means that ‘I’ can allow the perfection which is here right now, it is actually in ‘my’ hands each moment again. The ‘distance’ between where ‘I’ am and the PCE is only as big as ‘I’ make it.
And yet ‘I’ choose to remain on that boundary still. What Claudiu wrote in his report is very applicable here :
The ‘lesson’ was finally fully reinforced Saturday night after I had dropped everyone off at the airport but Geoffrey (who left Sunday morning). Having an herbal tea I told him all this, and he just pointed out how firstly if I can’t even allow a PCE for 5 minutes, how could I possibly be willing to allow it forever? And lastly he pointed out that the confident knowing that it is really better for this body, that body, and every body, has to be confident!! And from direct experience!!
Indeed ‘I’ cannot possibly be proceeding towards self-immolation if ‘I’ am not willing to allow a PCE. Choosing to remain on this boundary and then selling myself on it being a movement towards actual freedom is clearly a tactic to remain, and this is what I had been doing for the past couple of years. So this is all great to finally drive a stake through.
During our time at the convivium “tripping balls” as Emp put it was something we all went into in various degrees. Which was to allow and to ramp up a naive wonder and delight, and to use this as a springboard into actuality.
I was cooking some eggs yesterday and after having heated up the pan sufficiently I cracked the eggs in, they covered the whole surface of the pan and I began to become so fascinated about the whole thing…
The heat quickly formed a crust on the under layer of the eggs and now the residual heat coming through the crust was boiling the top layers and sending tiny air bubbles into the yolks themselves, without affecting their integrity though. The yolks were of the most impressive shape and colour, simply perfect! For a moment it was as if there was only those eggs cooking, and the fascinated awareness of the perfection of it all.
‘I’ blipped out for a short while then but ‘I’ came back in to look to digest, to classify, to distinguish the experience. It seems this is the habit of mine which is preventing these experiences from becoming PCEs proper. But lately there is plenty of opportunities to come closer and closer, it is as if I am carrying the flavour of actuality in the pocket with me as I go about my day, and it is never any further away than the simple allowing of a fascinated attention, at the fact that perfection is already always here now.
It’s funny, I had a similar experience peeling an orange the same day. The way the sunlight was streaming into my office room and lighting up the orange in such a vivid and vibrant way, watching the oils from the skin spray into the air, the smell of it permeating everything. Also looking at the clear gentle sacs of orange pulp, all perfectly lined up! The usual tedious experience of peeling an orange was all of a sudden so fascinating and absorbing. It was all I wanted to do in that moment, I was totally invested in this orange
I relate to the “For a moment it was as if there was only those eggs cooking, and the fascinated awareness of the perfection of it all.” For a moment it was as if there was only the orange .
I find it rather sweet that we we’re both “tripping balls” over food the same day and pottering around the house doing our own things together
