Ok so here comes my report from the Portugal Convivium. I have made no effort to present an overall account of what happened, rather I have written about the things pertinent to me, from my experience. Others may report their experience and paint a more comprehensive picture that way. Also the events are not in perfect chronological order, although I tried to stick to that where memory allowed 
. Lastly I want to put a disclaimer that this is all written by me as a feeling being, with all the pitfalls that such a description can entail.
So below is the things which have stood out to me the most, but far more happened, if other things come to mind I will update with part 2.
The first notable thing which happened was upon meeting Geoffrey, initially there was some fear, which was understandable, however it quickly became apparent that I held an image of what an actually free person is like. I found that Geoffrey simply did not fit into any box that I could possibly place him into. At first I experienced this as quite disconcerting, it shook me. That image which I held was quickly broken down but I did not have anything else in its place, hence the disorientation/disconcerted feelings. It seemed that without the image and without the ability to place him into a box I no longer had anything concrete to aim for. I spoke with Geoffrey about this image then, and about how I had projected him as some kind of a saint/superhero and that actual freedom is not that. The following day, with the image gone and with the disconcerted feelings no more I began to experience Geoffrey more as he actually is. That day the focus turned to the next thing, which was locating a genuine target to aim for. We spoke that night about the importance of the PCE, that it is the PCE which provides the concrete target. Around that time I was becoming fascinated by how quickly things were changing, somehow the change was happening on an existential level, and the questions which I had, and the themes which were at play were addressed far more deeply than merely talking or thinking about them. The change that I was experiencing in myself was like the tectonic plates of ābeingā shifting, rather than a superficial change.
We went on a hike one of the days and we all sat down to fully enjoy and appreciate all that was happening, I came close to a PCE then, I mentioned how the enjoyment and appreciation was at first ālocalā (viewed by āmeā to be happening in segregated locations) then there was the experience of it happening everywhere all at once, where it āovertookā āmeā and segued into actuality, yet āIā blocked it right at that point. I found it fascinating that Geoffrey was existentially aware when any of us came closer to the actual world, also we were all having an effect on each other when conveying the flavour of the experience.
The following day we went to the beach, Geoffrey spoke to me then about sensuosity, he saw clearly that it was something that I was missing, that here we were on the most glorious beach and yet āIā was busy with āmyā stuff, missing out on the whole world. Again though the change was happening rather quickly and on a deep level. Some time after we were at a local cafe getting lunch and I found myself in a particularly naive place, this experience was very striking, it answered my questions about sensuosity. I saw that when being naive the world is as if screaming at me, just waiting to be delighted in, casting my gaze anywhere there was only more sensuous delight to be found. What made this experience even better is that I was at ease in the group setting, so there was both the sensuosity aspect and the convivial aspect to be delighted in. Towards the end of the cafe lunch we spoke about the importance of making the conscious decision to continue being naive rather than returning to the ācaveā of āmyā safety. One of the evenings we spoke more at length about this ācaveā of āmyā safety, specifically about rumination, it clicked for me then, on a deep level, that rumination is particularly enticing for āmeā specifically because it ensures that no change/movement takes place.
We were walking back from the beach at one point and I was allowing more and more enjoyment and appreciation, I noticed that something would shift and there would be a quality āin the airā, something that simply does not exist in the real world, and something that is not of āmeā. I spoke with Geoffrey about this quality and confirmed that it is pure intent, although he did mention that pure intent is also far more than just that. Geoffrey talked then about relaxing into pure intent, allowing it to suffuse me, as if relaxing into a jacuzzi, rather than trying to grasp it as if catching a butterfly.
One of the most fascinating experiences happened whilst in a group setting, it was fascinating because I discovered that a PCE can also be arrived at by going for an actual intimacy, but this was a new route for me. I was particularly drawn to look at Emp, and I began to glimpse her as she actually is, āpast the curtainā. It was a very sweet experience because I saw her in the place where she is already perfect, as a flesh and blood body. This experience then expanded to include all of us sat around the table. It was a near PCE but this time I was able to spend enough time in that place just before the shift into the PCE, to notice that at that very point the last thing to happen, the only thing left to happen, is for āmeā to leave the experience also. Later on I spoke to Geoffrey about this experience, he was pleased about the fact that it happened in a group setting, via intimacy (new route for me), and that it got right to the point where - as he described it - there was just that little āloss of equilibriumā needed to be allowed and the PCE would indeed happen.
Another significant thing to see on a deep level, was that āIā am both the problem and the solution, which is no different to saying that āIā am āmyā feelings and āmyā feelings are āmeā or that when āIā am whole feeling good is a choice. The most important implication of this, which was also seen on a deep level was that it is all in āmyā hands and āmyā hands alone. One of the nights we discussed how this relates to proceeding towards actual freedom, and it did click then, in a strikingly thorough way, that it is in āmyā hands. I understood then that actual freedom is not granted when enough boxes have been ticked, or when enough coins have been slotted into the machine to warrant a reward, that it is a choice made by āmeā, as a whole.
This sense of existentially proceeding as a whole was in fact one of the main aspects of the convivium. Towards the end on one of the days I found myself completely existentially exhausted, although I was still feeling good and having a good time I simply had no capacity to existentially move even an inch. Geoffrey recognised this and mentioned that at this point all that we had done needed time to integrate, and to relax into this also. The following day that exhaustion was done and I experienced the capacity to existentially extend myself again.
On the last day we decided to visit the beach for the final time, we went by foot and got a little lost. We ended up sat by some steps in front of a tennis court, resting in the shade. Then as a group we went into the experience of the stillness of infinitude, which I understand now that this was something facilitated by Geoffrey. I was coming close to it and then backing off time and time again, then to my complete surprise the stillness washed over me like a large wave.
We spoke then about this aspect of being totally surprised by the experience of actuality, that this is a good sign, indicating that it is the genuine thing experienced, rather than an experience which was fabricated by āmeā, from various descriptions.
The last thing which currently comes to mind is what a life changing and perspective shattering thing it was to spend a week with a fully free human being - Geoffrey. And not only meeting here and there but spending all of our time together, it has filled me with every confidence that actual freedom delivers the goods, and far far more.
When the convivium ended I briefly experienced something like a deep grief, and it was because that precious place/atmosphere/milieu enabled by Geoffrey was no longer directly accessible. However he did point out on several occasions that the pure intent personified as a fully free human being and the pure intent of the actual world are one and the same thing. So this has become even more of a drive, to enable that, and to be that.
Cheers 
Ps it is clear from reading this report (and this is what we arrived at during the convivium) that it is the PCE which is required for me to proceed, and furthermore that I am blocking it.
I also barely remember the first few hours at the house.
and ventured into the swanky villa area hidden away behind the restaurant. I remember looking at a pair of deeply red oleander buds and thinking āthese will do me in if I stay to look at themā, so I stayed and manā¦ I donāt quite remember how it all started (but by the end of the week I started seeing a pattern in my experiences), but a deep feeling of rowdy playfulness welled up inside of me while the ground came to meet me. Everything went solid again but above and beyond all I could feel a deep sensuosity from the very centre of my being just welling and welling and coming in waves. It was like sex but without the dirtiness. I remember thinking ānow I understand what Richard meant when he said font of beingā. I started crying, which unfortunately meant I constantly had to pull back (residential area). I remember looking at the crowns of the palm trees waving in the wind and the way the sun reflected on their leaves resonated with every cell in me (this is very hard to describe), so I started having to take deep breaths just to make it through it. Every time they waved in the breeze it was like being hit by the most gorgeous sensation, welling over me and through me. I once again felt how matter, every single stone I was walking on, myself, the houses, everything was imbued with life force. This kept going on for a while, I got completely lost, had to pull back from the brink so that people wouldnāt wonder what was wrong with me, but I kept rushing back into it even when I thought I was completely wrung out. Eventually I had to return back home and the experience faded. I came back to the house and I wanted everyone to wake up so I could play with them. I may have forced Kuba to look at rosemary bushes.
When thinking about writing this the main thing that stood out to me most was that it was what I could remember to be the most fun Iāve ever had. Nothing was particularly ānewā in the activities we did but I remember making the decision at the beginning to allow the fun, playfulness and enjoyment. More than usual.
I was particularly excited to meet Emp! I also didnāt really have many expectations in place when meeting Geoffrey. I had met him a couple times on zoom and he wasnāt a weirdo then and had every marker of a normal guy . What pleasantly surprised me was how playful he is . There was no fun he would āshyā away from. I would say itās what brought out the decision to let the walls down more and just enjoy and appreciate each moment. I also would like to say a massive credit to Emp, Claudiu, and Kuba for the amping up of the fun. We had all, at some point, made the decision to let the walls down and interact as freely and as intimately as we could. I think this is a huge part of why this was so successful to me! I canāt say it enough hahah it was so so much fun, and so easy 
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. Such confusion is very cunning and clever, and is fed by such things as for example reading how Vineeto wrote at some point she didnāt need PCEs anymore but to go out from controlā¦ and Geoffreyās reply was yeah but she had spent years having tons of PCEs
- it is not that.