Hey, Vineeto.
It was purely a hobby-related reply rather than actualist-related this time around, but point taken. When I watch eSports like this, it has the potential for both as a distraction to cope with life (be entertained) or an excuse to enjoy and appreciate the moment in such a form. When I watch competitions of this video game in particular there’s a feeling of comfort, of coming home, since it’s been my favorite of all time, so at times I allow myself to use it as platform or background to try to enjoy and appreciate, but mostly is more like traditional entertainment in which I frequently lose track of the actualist awareness, if I am to be honest.
Yeah, I think there’s some cool aspects to be appreciated in this game besides the mere competitive aspect. It’s like a modern version of chess with so many dimensions that make it amusing and elegant: the civilization you pick, how it counters the one picked by your opponent, general strategy, macromanagement, micromanagement, the map generation, even the topology of the terrain matters. So one can appreciate the elegance and skill of the players as they go solving the challenges presented, besides just taking sides as a fan. It’s just a cool, complex, fun video game to me.
That being said, one naturally takes sides in the hopes for the game to be more competitive and hence thrilling. This is where the strong emotional part comes in, as in taking sides, rooting for the underdog, hoping for an even and spectacular game, are all ways to crave conflict and drama as conditional entertainment and cope. This is indicative of such sentiment, when I said:
The challenge with pro tournaments now is not getting too bored with Hera winning all the time.
Though a reason for anyone to watch any sport or movie, I guess even being actually free, is for it to be more engaging in some way (a conflict or a dramatic structure), I guess the difference being that a feeling being craves way more for these emotional condiments and spices in life, and for an actually free person is just a matter of preference. I think Peter, for instance, liked (likes?) watching cricket. So, assuming he still likes watching it, I bet that if the same team won every time 20-0, he’d lose interest and would prefer spending his time differently. So there’s some to that competitive aspect that makes the hobby worthwhile besides the conventional emotional thrill.
It’s been a rocky road for me 
Not a linear progression, but actualism never entirely wanes. It’s always in the background even when I take detours. Last one was that I started psychosomatizing weirdly when I tried to feel good (I’m guessing because I was misapplying it, making it sudorific or repressing in my last iteration), but I’m returning once again and that’s why I was reading the old messages I missed. As I told you before, some months ago I got to a state that set a rich benchmark that showed me what’s possible, when I had what it seemed like a mini virtual freedom that made me make sense of actualist aspects like never before. I want to reach that again. 