Part Two
CrossChrono: Another clue that stuck out for me was the word ‘unilateral’. Richard writes that only unilateral action will do the trick. That means it is not dependent on others. I had the fear that I would lose my partner if I chose to just feel good. But thru the few times that I have chosen to be that way with her, it definitely was better in every way. In being that way, there was a freedom that love could never grant. I did not experience her thru my insecurities or other fears. She is a free person and another individual. Unlike love, this is a free intimacy and nothing like what my fears intuited it to be. In fact, I think love is a bondage and yet another way of being in thrall. Even writing that, I can feel Humanity shaking its finger at me.
Yes, acting unilaterally is a very important clue. Richard reports when ‘he’ first realized that nobody was in charge of the world.
Richard: I saw with a starkly-staring clarity how no one knew what was going on and – most importantly – how no one was ‘in charge’ of the world (unlike childhood schools where the headmaster or headmistress in charge is the ultimate preventative of playground fights going out-of-control lethal). There was nobody to ‘save’ the human race insofar as all gods and goddesses were but a figment of febrile imagination. (Richard, Personal webpage)
Hence you can do with your life as you choose (as long as you obey the local laws and social protocol) and it depends on every person’s unilateral action to bring about peace-on-earth. It does not require the cooperation of a single person … let alone “Humanity”. So whenever “Humanity” is “shaking its finger at me” you know you are on the right track. 
Richard: If you have followed what I have written so far, you will see it is a question of attitude, predilection, disposition and intent, because one can bring about a benediction from that perfection and purity which is the essential character of the universe by contacting and cultivating one’s original state of naiveté. Naiveté, as I have said, is that intimate aspect of oneself that is the nearest approximation that one can have of actual innocence – there is no innocence so long as there is a self – and constant awareness of naive intimacy results in a continuing benediction. This blessing allows a connection to be made between oneself and the perfection and purity of the infinitude of this physical universe. To reiterate: this connection I call pure intent. Pure intent endows one with the ability to operate and function safely in society without the incumbent social identity with its ever-vigilant conscience. Thus reliably rendered virtually innocent and relatively harmless by the benefaction of the perfection and purity, one can begin to dismantle the now-redundant social identity.
To unilaterally relinquish one’s esteemed identity is to go in the face of all received wisdom. Any psychiatrist would readily advise against such a foolish move – they will state that one would fall into a condition of mental and emotional ill-health. They would diagnose that one is likely to suffer from a severe mental disorder – probably ‘Depersonalisation’ and ‘Derealisation’ – with its accompanying anxiety and panic attacks, resulting in the prescribing of anti-psychotropic medication and prolonged psychological counselling. To ‘lose one’s identity’ and to ‘lose contact with reality’ is considered a very serious psychiatric illness indeed. So one must proceed carefully – with the indispensable aid of pure intent – in order to dismantle, step by step, one’s accrued identity and reality. (Richard, List A, No. 26)
CrossChrono: Then realizations had been hitting me back and forth for a bit. One thing that just smacked me in the face was like ‘all I have to do is feel good’. And this is easy. Whatever comes, I will do it feeling good. So I decided that I would not think about anything or do anything unless I was feeling good. This worked for quite a few days. I had the longest stretch of feeling good that I’ve ever experienced in a long time. Right around at the beginning of this I had another realization about being alive. It actually caught me by surprise. I was taking a shower and I became aware instantly that this entire time it has been this moment. It sounds like almost mundane. But quite literally, this entire time (forever) it has only been this moment. Even as I am writing this the implications of this are churning in my mind. All the ‘past’, ‘present’, and ‘future’ don’t have an actual existence. When I realized this, I became fascinated and I felt even more good automatically. So much safety and security in this moment. What a relief that only this moment exists. And another realization came some time after this one. Only I as this body can know that this moment exists. This one has been simmering for a little while longer. I am allowing it to gestate. There were a few other stand out experiences of perhaps a similar nature. […]
This is a serendipitous insight – only this flesh-and-blood body “can know that this moment exists”, and that now is the only moment you can actually experience. And given that this is the only moment you can actually experience, any time spent feeling bad is a waste of this precious actual moment. And with this experience comes the insight that there is “so much safety and security in this moment” – it is truly magical.
Remember those valuable insights – they need actualizing for them to take effect in your life.
Cheers Vineeto
.
. I had the thoughts after my pure intent experience before like there’s ‘no way that this is possible’. Now it seems possible!
. Sometimes I get overwhelmed. Perhaps I have a tendency to more easily give weight and importance to negative feelings than felicitous feelings. They seem to have a more urgent feeling to them and perhaps even more ‘truth’ to them. It’s like once I am feeling good, then there’s really nothing to think about. There was really no reason to feel bad. It was all a self-fulfilling prophecy. I simply had indulged in them and perhaps the underlying resentment and seriousness gives rise to an obsessive urge or tendency to do something about it. And that in turn sustains the resentment and seriousness. The way I went about it though was misguided.