Kuba: I have so much appreciation for being able to talk like this and not just as idle discussion or “looking for problems to solve” because just as you mentioned in the past that peace on earth was your favourite subject I can now unreservedly say the same. And not just as a subject to be discussed but as an overarching goal in my life.
Hi Kuba,
And your recent post is right in that vein –
Kuba: There was his deep and sincere intent to bring about a world where children are not subjected to such an appalling fate. What a shame that this exquisite joy at being alive is turned into something so horrendous that only suicide or belief in ‘other worlds’ can ease the pain. There was very much a sense that I would gladly die for this. (link)
Once you change the last sentence to “I will gladly die for this” it will be happening.
Kuba: It was always there, buried underneath all these other values and pursuits.
There was always this intent to find a way for myself and my fellow human beings to live how the PCE demonstrated to be possible. Yet this intent was as if filtered through various lenses of ‘my’ identity.
As the ‘high achiever’ deep down ‘I’ wanted the same but knew of no other way. This ‘high achiever’ could only go so far though because ‘he’ had locked ‘himself’ apart from others by ‘his’ own quest.
Indeed, and not only “from others” but from your own deepest longing for peace-on-earth as well. But you outwitted your own identity by taking up actualism and (inadvertently?) ended up where your deeply “buried” longing wanted to be all along.
Kuba: As a ‘high achiever’ ‘I’ was in ‘my’ own ivory tower which means I could not be a fellow human being.
And it is a tricky position to be in, there was a certain severity that came about as a result of locking ‘myself’ away like so, ‘I’ had separated ‘myself’ from ‘my’ roots.
Yes, it’s a serious business to get to the top and stay there, whichever ‘you’ consider the top. Yet because you wanted to the a “high achiever” in your avowed new-found aim of actualism and discovered, one by one, all the cunning plans of the identity to distract you, you nevertheless dismantled this “high achiever” in the end. Well done.
Kuba: This ‘high achiever’ did well to get thus far, ‘he’ used what was already at hand but ‘he’ could never altruistically sacrifice ‘himself’ out of the ivory tower.
No ‘he’ can’t, it requires a deep caring for one’s fellow human beings – which you discovered when you met this young, deliciously naïve girl in New Zealand.
Kuba: ‘I’ proceed towards ‘my’ self-immolation so that I can be what I have been all along – a fellow human being. (link)
Now that the “high achiever” met the end of ‘his’ career, ‘self’-centricity can drop away like a redundant cloak and deep caring for the plight of your fellow human beings will do the rest.
Cheers Vineeto