Scout: My responses here will be as scattered as my energy levels which have been consistently low the past couple months after a health flare but I have very much enjoyed reading all of your responses, and have thoughts too that I will muster the energy to write out at some point.
Hi Scout,
Welcome back.
The last correspondence we had you talked about that you “definitely still retain some degree of buddhist passivity” and that you struggle with the “high moral virtue” that “compassion and martyrdom” had/have for you. (link)
Have you had any success in recognizing, contemplating and dismantling some of your feelings/ patterns/ principles and beliefs in tribal allegiance and loyalty, especially towards your family. Are these particular feelings/ patterns/ principles perhaps related to your experience of “consistently low” “energy levels” and “health flare”?
Scout: For now though I have a question for Vineeto – how do I nip emotions in the bud without suppressing them? What’s the difference? (link)
If the above is the case, that your present emotions and low “energy levels” are related to the issue of “compassion” (suffering together) and “martyrdom” then nipping in the bud is not the solution. The solution is dissolution of loyalty and addiction to belonging when you can clearly recognize and acknowledge that this interferes with your well-being and enjoying and appreciating of being alive.
The difference between suppressing and nipping in the bud is significant. As you said in our last correspondence that “I definitely still retain some degree of buddhist passivity” (link) suppression of unwanted feelings does still seem to be somewhat habitual. Such suppression needs to be recognized when it is happening to stop this habit in its track. Hence my suggestion to stop fighting the fear/ feeling when it arises and allow, in the experiencing of it, to get the information you need in order to get back to feeling good. (link). Then begin to acknowledge that you are your feelings (instead of having feelings). Once you do that you have a choice which way to direct your affective energy, for instance the felicitous and innocuous feelings.
Nipping in the bud is only useful when you recognize a thought- or feeling pattern that you have already recognized, investigated and resolved and which may pop up as a habitual hang-over, so to speak.
Richard: The phrase ‘nipping them in the bud’ is not to be confused with either suppression/ repression or ignoring/ avoiding … it is to be consciously and deliberatively – with knowledge aforethought – declining oh-so-sensibly to futilely go down that well-trodden path to nowhere fruitful yet again. (Richard, This Moment of Being Alive, Tool-tip after “nipping in the bud”).
I recommend re-reading the above article, especially after the third banner, and include the informative tool-tips. Each time you read it and can recognize it as your own applied experience, the understanding deepens.
Cheers Vineeto