Leila: Thank you Vineeto for providing the link for me.
And also my deep appreciation for what you are doing in helping us.
I have a question regarding Felix and Vineeto correspondent.
what does “Splitting” oneself mean?
And what is the difference between “splitting and dissociation”?
By ‘splitting’ I mean when you have one aspect of your identity argue with another aspect of your identity, the same as what “internal conflict” means. It is a result of the perception of having feelings instead of the recognition that I am my feelings.
Leila: I understood that “dissociation” is for example when one says “I have feelings”, instead of saying “I am my feelings” …
If someone would provide other examples of splitting …
Thank you
In a way they are similar, dissociation however can be much more pronounced in one can be convinced that one is not angry, never angry, because one trained oneself that those feelings are not allowed. Splitting means you are aware of both sides of the internal argument as in ‘I am angry but I shouldn’t be’.
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Leila: edit and adding : this is one example Felix wrote, but I don’t get it …
>>Felix: And what you say about “splitting” oneself is very apt, because at that point I’m becoming anxious that I’m feeling anxious – as well as the notions I mentioned of fears that I’ll never make it, that I’m not cut out for actualism, or that I’m wired “wrong”.
This is a great example of Felix becoming aware of previously dissociated, i.e. suppressed, feelings such as being anxious. But instead of being a friend to himself he castigates himself for being those feelings and thus compounds his anxiousness by being anxious about it. This results in an inner conflict. I am pleased to say that after a longish period of punishing himself this way he finally was able to leave all that behind and start feeling good (link)
In short, when you recognize an internal conflict/ argument with yourself, stop and acknowledge that you are your feelings and that the inner conflict is a distraction from the choice you have to be your feelings and thus have the choice to be feeling good instead.
Cheers Vineeto