Something with regards to the ‘commitment to feeling good each moment again come what may’ is becoming clearer.
It seems lately I am on the precipice of living that commitment. Since the start of applying the method it was somewhat like this :
At first there was the intent to feel happy and harmless however I was completely slanted away from living this goal and completely inclined towards chasing the ‘real world dramas’. So at first it was difficult to consistently feel good because I was only committed to feeling good if A, B and C were met. I was trying to feel good consistently whilst still being fully involved in pursuing the ‘real world dramas’. When I say ‘real world dramas’ I mean all the beliefs, values, fantasies etc that epitomise living in the real world.
And looking back now it makes sense that it would not work, it is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
It is saying that I will continue living the very same values that other miserable and malicious entities are living and YET I will end up somehow being happy and harmless, how!?
So I wanted to have my cake and eat it too, as in I did not want to change myself and yet I expected a different result. I wanted to continue ‘being in the rat race’ whilst not playing by the same rules as other entities are playing!
But of course each time it always circled back to the same realisation (sooner or later) that it was ‘me’ who was the problem and who needed to change.
With each component of those ‘real world dramas’ being investigated and eventually eliminated I then began inclining myself more and more towards enjoyment and appreciation as a MO and away from the ‘real world dramas’.
I can see this commitment dangling in front of me now, it is that shift towards finally and wholeheartedly stepping out of the ‘rat race’. Most of those ‘dramas’ I was involved in, they went round and round until I was basically sick of it all and decided to stop, it’s funny really but this is how they all disappeared, it wasn’t some momentous realisation that would eradicate them in one fell swoop, it was more a process of gathering all of myself to finally admit that going down this path is pointless and sucks 
, very much down to earth.
So there is all these ‘paths’ that I have no interest in travelling down anymore, I simply had enough of them and I have no inclination of going there again.
There is this one path though dangling in front of me that does deliver the goods, the wide and wondrous path! The path of enjoyment and appreciation. It seems at this point there is nothing but walking it fully, although it is like I still have an emotional hangover from those real world dramas, like I am holding back out of fear of ‘something out there’ even though every time I check there is nothing of substance there.
It’s actually kind of funny to observe because those dramas that used to be so very concrete are like bits of rubble now, however ‘I’ will still desperately try to piece the bits of rubble together and go “look there is something you need to worry about here!”
Nice insights.
