Kuba: So last week or so has been a bit of a germination period, this time I have not been getting upset over phone transfers or anything of the kind though.
The past day or so I have started to experience these moments of apperceptiveness but it’s different now. Perhaps it’s because when ‘I’ come back ‘I’ know that ‘I’ become extinct for an actual freedom to eventuate. It’s like before ‘I’ saw it as 2 worlds and it seemed like maybe (if ‘I’ hoped very hard) ‘I’ would manage to squeeze through into the actual world… But of course in practice it ended up being something like the below : (snipped video with membrane)
Vineeto, I think this is the video that you were looking for the other day, I had a good giggle re-watching it.
So since that experience of ‘the veil’ it has been so clear that ‘I’ become extinct and then actual freedom eventuates. BUT this “then” is actually instantaneous, this is what those moments of apperceptiveness show. That when ‘I’ blink out there is already a completeness in place, as Srinath wrote there is “a new consciousness – of a piece with the body”. From those experiences I can understand now what Peter wrote here :Peter: The whole experience was like a seamless transition between two worlds – from being a feeling being trapped within an illusionary all-encompassing self-created and sustained bubble to being here in the actual world.
(link)
Hi Kuba,
Thank you for the update report and the video – I vaguely remember it from the first time. After you had these experiences you described are you now confident that it is safe to give the ‘green light’ to leave your ‘self’ behind?
Peter’s quote continues where you left off –
Peter: There was no dramatic end for ‘me’, no death-like traumatic experience, no prior psychic events or escapades, no “wall of fear”, no “abyss” – rather there was a profound experience of sweetness, a ready acknowledgement of my destiny and a final understanding that the feeling of separateness was nothing other than an illusion of ‘my’ own making.
The paragraph finishes with a comment from Richard partly quoted below –
Richard: And the reason why the word ‘magic’ is utilised (magic as in prestidigitation and not as in a sorcerer’s magic) is because no other word currently exists to adequately convey how a lifetime of cares and woes – all the misery and mayhem which epitomises the human condition – can vanish in an instant (and vanish so completely as to have never been in the first place). (Long Awaited Announcement, 3rd [R] tool-tip).
It is a truly wonderous adventure.
Here is a correspondence I had on the Direct Route mail-out three weeks after becoming actually free –
Vineeto: Peace-on-earth, the desire of the identity for peace-on-earth is the means to an end and the end is far, far bigger than peace-on-earth, which is quite a big thing already. The desire for peace for everybody, the near-actual caring for everybody (which always includes yourself, of course) and the yearning for a near-actual intimacy with your fellow human beings is what carries you across personal fears and panic attacks when the identity throws its survival-driven tantrums.
A goal beyond one’s personal happiness is required to cross or slide on past the wall of fear (as we recently termed it) or to overcome nagging doubts and buckling knees in the face of extinction. Without it you would be defeated by confusion, everlasting hesitation and pernicious power play.
I found near-actual caring for others to be the path to the gate to an actual freedom for both Peter and I but once I am here, as this flesh-and-blood only, in the actual world, actual caring comes effortless as a by-product of actual intimacy and is no longer the means to an end but the delicious fellowship regard that comes with the territory of having discovered something so magical, so precious, that I can’t help but want to share it with everyone.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write this to you. It gave me a memory of the sweetness that the identity experienced when ‘she’ was soo close to her destiny. (Direct Route, Vineeto to No. 4(D), 20 Jan 2010).
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Kuba to Chrono: Just to add to the above, I was thinking about this with regards to me and Sonya, that it is simply “how things are” now when we are together that there is a lack of conflict and a mutual liking. That it would be ‘weird’ to operate in the way which would be classed as ‘normal’. As in those felicitous and innocuous vibes are the norm, to relate in sorrow and malice would now be the outlier. (link)
It’s a good sign and great to hear that you now consider ‘normal’ behaviour, i.e. the way ‘sane’ people operate and behave with each other as “weird”. I remember ‘Vineeto’ giggling at some point when ‘she’ realised how far ‘she’ had moved away from being ‘normal’ – and then it no longer mattered in the fascination of what was unfolding.
It’s also the perfect situation of exploring even more intimacy and playing with “how close we can get” – a game potential crew members of the convivium played after becoming new actually free – but one can play it at any time.
Cheers Vineeto
P.S.: I noticed that in the embedded video people in the alleged paradise all only danced by themselves, apparently intimate interacting is beyond normal imagination of a ‘good trip’.