Kuba: At first it began as something like “could ‘I’ really?” as in could I actually proceed in that direction, of no longer being ‘anyone’ in particular, of no longer ‘being’ at all. I followed that curiosity to realise that this is what I always wanted to be as an actuality. That in that blessed anonymity is an actual innocence, but ‘I’ can never ‘be’ that, because ‘I’ am an identity. (link)
Chrono: Mostly I had kept hitting a wall of resistance which I can’t seem to get a look into. (…) Only recently I saw it as being made up of loyalty. And it’s like the loyalty to the Human Condition itself if that makes sense. I’m finding that standing on my own two feet in the sense of feeling good come what may is bringing up feelings of doubt and anxiety as I am doing it irregardless what others feel. Others meaning everyone in my life and even what I read on the news. Maybe I should return to the question “can I emotionally accept that which is intellectually unacceptable?” (link)
Hi Kuba, hi Chrono,
This morning, I read again a correspondence which I figured you, and in fact everyone, could gain possibly insight from – the “quaint little wonder-land tale” Richard told to Rick.
First, it was fascinating to read Rick’s long question where he described in comprehensive detail life in the real world – all its pain and trouble of belonging, the alluring carrots of reward (of being accepted and approved of) and the crushing duty and responsibility in order to gain or those carrots or being punished for not doing enough.
Then continue to read Richard’s response, condensing Rick’s tale of woe to the central problem of self-worth, or rather ‘self’-worth – “and self-worth as derived from others’ opinion at that”.
He then masterly described, in the same masterly perfection as he once produced the pottery when ‘he’ had allowed the pottery to make itself – how at the exhibition and sale of this pottery “self-esteem and all its associated vanity and humility vanished out of my life forever”.
It becomes glaringly obvious that when one can abandon the ‘carrot’, which Rick so eloquently described, i.e. one’s very relationship to humanity and its accompanying highly conditional ‘good’ feelings, then that is the end of all loyalty, duty and obligation towards humanity as well.
This can be done born of the confidence based on one’s PCEs, active pure intent and the memory of previous moments, where one stunningly recognises when for some short moments life was living itself.
Richard’s “quaint little wonder-land tale” is a perfect example how the ‘good’ feelings keep the ‘bad’ feelings in place, and when you realize that this ‘carrot’ is in fact without any worth whatsoever, then all the anxiety and heavy lifting obtaining it is equally useless.
Enjoy. (Richard, List D, Rick, Re: Humanity: My God)
Cheers Vineeto