A few days ago I started to rememorate the flavour of the “blessed anonymity” which I wrote about previously :
Since then I had this question pop up - “who am ‘I’ in relation to others?”, this fascinated question has been held specifically in a way to reveal those very outlines of ‘me’ as an identity, to see exactly what it is that stands in the way of the “blessed anonymity” for this flesh and blood body, which is ‘me’ in ‘my’ totality. A fatal attraction is a good word for the pull towards this blessed anonymity, because it is the end for ‘me’ and also the end of ‘my’ struggle, that blessed anonymity is where pure intent beckons.
At first it began as something like “could ‘I’ really?” as in could I actually proceed in that direction, of no longer being ‘anyone’ in particular, of no longer ‘being’ at all. I followed that curiosity to realise that this is what I always wanted to be as an actuality. That in that blessed anonymity is an actual innocence, but ‘I’ can never ‘be’ that, because ‘I’ am an identity.
Geoffrey wrote that it is about knowing what one wants and going for it. It looks like I have the target now.
The other thing which I started to understand is the necessity of altruism, that those outlines of ‘me’ cannot be dissolved any other way, it is why no psychology or philosophy etc could ever succeed, because it takes something different altogether, that is what Richard discovered. In short it takes a powerful instinct (altruism) to overcome another powerful instinct (selfism), these things are rooted way deeper than mere intellectualising could ever reach.