Kuba: Hi Vineeto,
So with the strop over now… your reply was excellent.
I wrote earlier that there is just no other direction that ‘I’ could travel within ‘myself’, that is true. But all the journeys within ‘myself’ were always journeys with a return ticket.
Hi Kuba,
Isn’t it amazing how the human mind works. Sometimes you have to exhaust all possibilities of a certain course of action until you stop – and suddenly the new, so far unseen or unconsidered option becomes visible. It has been sitting there all along but you weren’t ready for it … until now.
Kuba: I had your reply in mind all day today, especially the below:
Vineeto: Once “given oneself prior permission to have one’s life live itself (i.e., sans the controlling doer), and a different way of being comes about (i.e., where the beer is the operant) – whereupon a thrilling out-from-control momentum takes over and an inevitability sets in – whereafter there is no pulling back (hence the reluctance in having it set in motion) as once begun it is nigh-on unstoppable.” [Emphases added]. (Richard, List D, Claudiu4, 28 Jan 2016).
Kuba: And indeed I can see now there is a direction in which I have never travelled before and this one is not a path within ‘myself’.
And I can see that it is possible, that such a direction exists, in fact in the back of my mind I have always suspected that this is exactly what it would take, it just seemed too radical a direction to actually go.
Now though because I have literally ran out of the possible journeys with a return ticket, this one is staring me right in the face.
You know I have (about 30min ago) sustained a ligament tear in my knee, possibly partial but it seemed quite severe so possibly a full tear, but actually that currently seems irrelevant (well I know it will get sorted either way). That’s just to highlight how significant this is what I have seen today.
This is an excellent development, and now you have a (serendipitous?) pause in some of your physical activities as well to discover and explore this new, different-way-of-being. It is indeed a radical direction to actually go – radical as in “going to the root or origin”, “characterised by departure from tradition” (Oxford Dictionary).
Kuba: And although I am not currently travelling in that direction / have never travelled in that direction – I can now see that such a direction exists, and has done all along, and this in itself Is huge! Even just coming close to this possibility, allowing/ accepting that it exists, has led to a completely different type of experiencing today.
To sum up, I can see now that a direction exists which does not lead in a circle back to ‘me’. And the “how” of it is spelled out in that quote above. (link)
Obviously, in that complete understanding that everything else has failed to reach your goal you are now ready to explore “just seemed too radical a direction to actually go”. Have you also considered, when contemplating the quote above, that by giving oneself “prior permission to have one’s life live itself” this includes the acquiescence to ‘my’ demise?
It takes the abandoning of hope (in the old ways) and a goodly dose of daring to do that. As you described it before –
Kuba: Which is to say that it seems to me by all means that ‘I’ am no longer deterred from proceeding, this is what ‘I’ want, and I know this is the case because I have not experienced any of that “unpalatable resistance” in the past few weeks. but it seems ‘I’ have all those ‘loops’ that ‘I’ can go round in, ways to put off what must happen / what ‘I’ want to happen. (link)
Cheers Vineeto