Kuba: Hi Vineeto,
My head is spinning a little this time, well there is 1 bit of your response which caught my attention though :Vineeto: Hence the persistence of “the morning resentments and the evening gloom” (link) as “diversion into feeling bad”. The intention to step outside the compounds of the territory of ‘me’ is missing. So you can ditch all three aspects (“try to resolve it or go through it” and going “adjacent”) of your way of handling any emotions interfering with felicity and innocuity as avoidance and effectless and instead activate pure intent which is the fulcrum outside of ‘you’.
Hi Kuba,
It can be fortuitous that your “head is spinning” – you might be seeing if a major readjustment is in order. Let me respond here before you go on devising a new strategy to stop your head from spinning. I am going by your phrasing of “skilfully manoeuvring” your “resistance” in combination with “adjacent” in your recent message as in –
Kuba: Also what I noticed today is that the resistance ‘I’ put up is not to be pushed through, the resistance is when ‘I’ am not in agreement, it does have to be skilfully manoeuvred but I noticed that the wide and wondrous place is not so much past the resistance, it’s more adjacent to it lol. (link).
I suspect (and I could be wrong) there is a stumbling block that you seem to have never taken squarely into account – that there is just no way that the actual world is “adjacent” [“adjoining, neighbouring (on), next door to, close to, close by, bordering (on), beside and alongside”] to ‘me’, the imaginary but very passionate alien entity inside your flesh-and-blood body. Therefore there is simply no way that ‘I’/ ‘me’ can devise a strategy (“skilfully manoeuvring”) to enter the actual world whilst remaining ‘me’.
Richard: To put it bluntly: ‘you’ in ‘your’ totality, who are but a passionate illusion, must die a dramatic illusory death commensurate to ‘your’ pernicious existence. The drama must be played out to the end … there are no short-cuts here. The doorway to an actual freedom has the word ‘extinction’ written on it. This extinction is irrevocable, which eliminates the psyche itself. When this is all over there will be no ‘being’ at all. (Richard, List B, No. 13, 26 May 1999)
When you understand this basic fact, at the deepest core of you ‘being’, that the actual world, and therefore pure intent and all the wonderful experiences you had of the “mirificent flavour of pure intent”, is outside of ‘your’ domain then you won’t continue to fool yourself and end up “in a similar if not the same place to where I was when you began writing on the forum”. (link)
I am reminded of something Richard wrote to Alan in 2016 –
Richard: (…) – such tergiversation [equivocation, evasion, prevarication, shuffling, and ambiguity (Merriam Webster)] reminds me of what feeling-being ‘Vineeto’ reported after the first few weeks of listening to me/ reading my words.
Speaking in regards to the effects any and all attempts to fit this totally new paradigm into ‘her’ existing mindset were having, ‘she’ explained the process as being … (1.) as if ‘her’ brain was being turned upside-down … and how (2.) ‘she’ was having to relearn how to think all over again.
Could it be a stage you have skipped, perchance, upon having jumped the gun? (Richard, List D, Alan, 29 Feb 2016).
Could it be that you inadvertently were trying to fit actualism into the spiritualistic paradigm for instance that it is enough to have realisations without ever needing to actualise them in a practical down-to-earth way to reap their benefits? Or into the materialistic paradigm that these realisations are merely a screen to present (to yourself as well as others), to hide that the true primary purpose, your ‘self’-survival, remains in power? It would only be natural given that ‘you’ are the instinctual survival passions therefore there is no need to be ashamed or embarrassed. And if this indeed part of ‘your’ modus operandi it would be both beneficial and liberating to discover so as to avoid future traps.
The reason I am saying that is because many times in the last months you have apparently gone to the brink of ‘self’-immolation, only to pull back with more doubts and more objections and then go again to the brink and backward again. For example –
Vineeto: Indeed, after all the frightening, thrilling and daring experiences, in the end you find out that there is “no-one at all stopping ‘me’ from setting ‘myself’ free” – isn’t that in itself a hilarious proof of the benevolence of the universe and the beneficence of the human consciousness, which enables such revelation.
KUBA: I remember you wrote to me a while ago asking (to the effect of) – can you hear it yet? Indeed ‘I’ can now hear the sound of ‘my’ extinction approaching. (23 March 2025)
And finally conclude –
Kuba: “It appears that I am now in a similar if not the same place to where I was when you began writing on the forum”. (link).
To further explain what I mean by actualisation – in a PCE ‘I’ go into abeyance and when ‘I’ appear again, ‘I’ am the same as ‘I’ was before the PCE – so any insights or understandings gleamed from experiencing the actual world remain impotent until ‘I’ actualise them by imitating the actual as sincerely and progressively as possible. For example Geoffrey’s suggestion –
Geoffrey: … find it in yourself to take a first clear step in the right direction, such as making a commitment to happiness and harmlessness.
The door is wide as the universe, just as the path is by imitation. When one knows what it is one wants, and when one knows what it is one must sacrifice, then only the sensible action remains. [Emphasis added]. (link)
Here Richard describes in detail how ‘he’ actualised the information (and intent) gleaned from the PCEs –
Richard: As to how simple, easy and thus effortless this way of living/ this course of action is, when sincerely put into practice, it may be handy to also anecdotally reference how the identity inhabiting this flesh-and-blood body all those years ago took the first step, on what has become known as the wide and wondrous path to an actual freedom from the human condition, as the new year dawned in 1981 and as the grandmother of ‘his’ four children was driving them all down the driveway of ‘his’ ex-farmhouse after having heroically elected to have all of her grandchildren stay with her in the city for a three week holiday (which had left ‘him’ and ‘his’ wife on their own together for the first time since the birth of the first child around fourteen years previously) so as to give her daughter and son-in-law a break from parentage and, hopefully in her mind, to be of assistance in the resurrection of their failing marriage.
It was an opportunity ‘he’ grasped with both hands to not only regain the honeymoon intimacy, of 1966, as ‘his’ wife was spontaneously proposing while they waved them goodbye as they drove away down the driveway – specifically, a twenty-hour mutual peak experience, which both of them remembered well, wherein naïveté featured prominently – but also by so doing to thereby enable the actual intimacy each had experienced, some months prior, during their respective perfection experiences which had indubitably evidenced to both of them that peace-on-earth was already always here (a much-discussed issue over those preceding months). What they both set about doing thereafter, consciously and with knowledge aforethought, was to deliberately imitate the actual each moment again – as magically manifested in their respective perfection experiences – simply because the imitative course of action had been demonstrably successful in the area of the fine arts (as per my oft-mentioned ‘enabling the painting to paint itself’ theme).
When their children were duly returned by an exhausted grandmother, after their three-week exposure to the big-city lifestyle had run its course, ‘he’ was particularly determined not to lose what ‘he’ dubbed the ‘honeymoon atmosphere’ by reverting to type – although ‘his’ wife fared badly in this respect (as per Message № 12901 List D, No. 33, 13 Jan 2013 for instance) – and four weeks later as the official school year was due to commence ‘he’ was similarly set on not losing, as the minimal or bottom line of moment-to-moment experiencing, what ‘he’ dubbed the ‘holiday atmosphere’ (engendered via interacting with ‘his’ children as if a child again, albeit with adult sensibilities, due to an irrepressible re-emergence of ‘his’ hidden-away-during-puberty childhood naïveté).
For what ‘he’ had twigged to, in the beginning stages of their joint venture (and particularly exemplified by ‘his’ wife’s predilection for venting over voicing), was how it was far, far easier and simpler to stay in a good mood come-what-may – preferably a happy mood of course – than claw ‘his’ way back up to feeling good, again and again, after having habitually reverted to type.
Hence being (affectively) aware, each moment again, of more and more subtle variations in the quality of one’s moment-to-moment enjoyment and appreciation of being alive/ of being here so as to earlier and earlier pre-empt any potential reversion to type.
Also, repeated experience had shown ‘him’ that minor dips in that quality presaged each major diminution – indeed miniscule blips soon became evident even earlier than those minor dips as ‘his’ ability to (affectively) detect subtle variations in the affective tone of mood and temperament became evermore fine-tuned – and the earlier such habituated silliness could be (affectively) discerned the sooner ‘he’ could thus nip these instinctual potentialities in the bud.
And all this while ‘he’ worked 12-14 hours a day for 6-7 days a week, as already mentioned, and yet all this while such work increasingly resembled the play it is in actuality. (Richard, List D, Claudiu4, #actualise)
Allow yourself time to contemplate, which can increase your being ruthlessly honest and deeply sincere [true to the root] with yourself – which are the keys to naiveté. You know if you have actualised some of your profound realisations when your daily life actually changes and the “outlines” that you mentioned two days ago noticeably and consistently change in one direction – more happy and harmless, gentle and kind.
Kuba: In that how could ‘I’ possibly agree to ‘my’ extinction if ‘I’ am not even willing to abandon those various outlines of who ‘I’ am. (link).
Kuba: OK so I am not going through bits of ‘me’ and neither am I going adjacent to the bits of ‘me’. You are suggesting to have the intention to step outside the compounds of the territory of ‘me’. Well, the question that comes up is how? The mirificent flavour experienced over the weekend was indeed outside ‘my’ territory, it’s what makes the experience so utterly delightful and wondrous, it’s having the time of my life. The flavour was available because of something like a “holiday atmosphere”.
So the question is how to consistently “step outside the compounds of the territory of ‘me’” or how to make the “holiday atmosphere” a way of life. It seems it is naiveté that makes this possible, because only as a child was the world wonderful and magical as an ongoing experience or a way of life.
It’s interesting actually that as a child the world was magical and wonderful in itself, whereas later on as an adult one has to travel across to some holiday destination to maybe rekindle a tiny shred of that magical flavour and even then it is never quite the same.
You know there is this thing I have seen in computer gaming, where people keep asking for old games to be re-made believing that the games themselves were better back then, but actually what they are looking for is that sense of wonder they experienced whilst playing those games as children, and that flavour is never quite found again.
I actually have a lot of solid memories of the “wonderful world” of my childhood, and yes if I could live like that all the time that would be utterly amazing. (link)
Kuba gave some good advice in January 2025 –
Kuba:
Richard: Okay … this is important, vital, pivotal: ‘I’, the thinker, know that ‘I’ cannot do it … ‘I’ cannot disappear ‘myself’. Only the ‘utter fullness’ can, and the ‘utter fullness’ is ‘calling one’, each moment again, and it is only when ‘I’ fully comprehend – totally, completely, fundamentally – that to be living this ‘utter fullness’ is to be living ‘my’ destiny will one be able ‘to answer that call’.
This full-blooded endorsement means it then becomes inevitable. (Richard, List B, No. 25f, 18 Jun 2000)
Allowing this “utter fullness” is indeed not about ‘me’ keeping busy, it is about ‘me’ becoming (or more specifically accepting that it has always been so) totally redundant, and agreeing to this with the entirety of ‘my’ being. When ‘I’ contemplate this possibility there is such an incredible sweetness to admitting this, it’s where release is located. (13 January 2025)
And being naïve is the way.
Cheers Vineeto