Kuba: What has come to my attention recently is this habit of ‘mine’ where ‘I’ seek to lay out what is ahead, essentially planning out and scheming how things will happen. And not just concerning self-immolation but even day to day living. It seems lately this habit is being chipped away at, and not even by ‘me’ as much as by the facts of life.
It dawned on me this morning that ‘I’ have woken up thousands of times and planned “how the day is going to go” and not a single time it happened as per the plan/scheme, and yet ‘I’ wake up once again and do the same thing… lol. It is becoming more and more obvious that it is simply impossible for ‘me’ to create a plan/scheme and to have life fit into it. In fact by the time ‘I’ say ‘my’ plan out loud things have already changed enough that it no longer applies, so it is now progressively being seen as completely useless to do this at all, what for? (…)
Hi Kuba,
This is what you understood at that time when you considered allowing going out-from-control in July last year –
Kuba: Those ‘last remaining cobwebs’ is exactly how I would describe those remaining dramas, it seems ‘I’ am only holding onto what’s left of them in order to block the momentum that would otherwise follow. This is the tricky part, proceeding without knowing with certainty what the destination is like, it’s stepping into the unknowable. It seems ‘I’ am instead searching for 100% certainty before ‘I’ dare to step out of the cage, which is of course an impossibility as this can only be had upon actual freedom. [Emphasis added] (link)
However, despite knowing that ‘you’ will never know with certainty what the destination is like, because ‘you’ will have to become extinct in order to reach the ultimate destination, ‘you’ still play the game of finding out the impossible, even when you *“*dispensed with” “all of ‘my’ planning and scheming” . At some point your unequivocal agreement to ‘your’ demise is imperative to reach your destiny.
Kuba: So what I am contemplating is whether all of ‘my’ planning and scheming can be safely dispensed with. (…)
In the meantime, to “safely dispense with” “all of ‘my’ planning and scheming” means allowing the ‘doer’, the ‘controller’, the ‘planer’, the ‘schemer’ to be fully recognized and disappear for good in order for the ‘beer’ (with pure intent) to fully come to the fore. This is exactly what the word naiveté refers to.
Kuba: Of course if Richard needed to go to the shop which closes at 8pm and the drive is 15min then he would understand that he needs to leave before 7:45 and would act accordingly. But is this kind of “planning” the same activity as what ‘I’ am doing when ‘I’ wake up and create a stencil of the day ahead which ‘I’ am then seeking to live out? (link)
Ha, if Richard had followed the advice of ‘your’ planner he would have arrived at the shop exactly at the time it closes. Obviously this kind of “planning” is not “the same activity as what ‘I’ am doing when ‘I’ wake up and create a stencil of the day ahead which ‘I’ am then seeking to live out”.
Joking aside, upon honest contemplation you might see that ‘your’ habit of *“*planning and scheming” has no role to play in how Richard describes out-from-being-under-control –
Richard: Being out-from-control/ in a different-way-of-being is quite daunting to contemplate as an on-going EE marks the end of the beginning of the end of ‘me’ and the commencement of the actualism process – as distinct from the actualism method – wherein a momentum not of ‘my’ doing takes over and an inevitability sets in; in an on-going EE the actual world has the effect of impelling one towards it – like a moth to a candle as the overarching benignity and benevolence of the actual increasingly operates such as to render ‘my’ felicity/ innocuity increasingly redundant; this is where being the nearest a ‘self’ can be to innocence – the naiveté located betwixt the core of being and the sexual centre (where one is both likeable and liking) – is attached as if with a golden thread or clew to the purity of actual innocence; an on-going EE is, thus, where one becomes acclimatised to benignity and benevolence and the resultant blitheness because the purity of the actual is so powerful that it would ‘blow the fuses’ if one was to venture into this territory ill-prepared. (Richard, List D, No. 12, 9 Dec 2009a)
Richard: In effect, the actualism process is what ensues when one gets out from being under control, via having given oneself prior permission to have one’s life live itself (i.e., sans the controlling doer), and a different way of being comes about (i.e., where the beer is the operant) – whereupon a thrilling out-from-control momentum takes over and an inevitability sets in – whereafter there is no pulling back (hence the reluctance in having it set in motion) as once begun it is nigh-on unstoppable.
Then one is in for the ride of a lifetime! [Emphasis added] (Richard, List D, Claudiu4, 28 Jan 2016)
Cheers Vineeto