Vineeto: … Wouldn’t be the fact and experience that actuality is irresistible provide enough pull to proceed without having to ‘kick’ yourself into action with dire projections?
Kuba: Yes it should shouldn’t it and yet there is clearly something which pulls ‘me’ back and that ‘I’ then seek to overcome with the dramatisations. It seems this “I am not good enough” needs to be rooted out fully. There is something atavistic to it, it reminds me of a post I wrote a few years ago when first getting some success with applying the actualism method. (…)
I can see now that this is the atavistic basis of this “I am not good enough”, this is not just ‘my’ personal feeling but rather where ‘humanity’ has been stuck for thousands of years. It segues into what you wrote about actual freedom not being possible in a finite and expanding universe. It was enlightenment which set the parameters of what is possible for a human being, it provided the ‘wisdom’ that human kind has been living to. One of the primary tenets of this ‘wisdom’ is that perfection is never to be lived by any human being, that we are all sinners until we depart for an after life – only there perfection can be allowed. In a way I have been living to a commandment which was given by those god men – do not dare to live perfection in this life time as this flesh and blood body. Not only is it not possible (apparently) but it is taboo, it is not allowed.
Hi Kuba,
Yes, you found it – it is the atavistic taboo to leave humanity, its ‘wisdom’ and its Ultimate Authority, or else you’ll be punished if you don’t obey its (holy) tenets, you’ll be marked as a traitor.
You might like this quote – it dramatically describes Richard’s part of the journey that he had embarked upon at this point –
Richard: With pure intent one will not settle for second best, for it has been seen in the peak experiences that the very best is possible, here on earth. One sees that ‘I’ must disappear entirely. There will be no transcendence, no transmutation, no metamorphosis … not any of these. For one who goes all the way, no phoenix will exist to arise from the ashes – nothing Metaphysical will remain. There will be no ‘being’ at all. ‘I’ will become extinct.
I use the word extinct deliberately for it carries a definitive meaning. Physically, death is the end of an individual member of the species, whilst extinction is the ending of the species itself. The psychological annihilation of ‘I’ – in its entirety – is the psychological ending of the species known as ‘humanity’. It is the end of ‘being’ and the end of an illusion. It is also the end of ‘Being’ and the end of delusion. The Human Condition, with all its appalling sorrow and malice, can come to an end. All those would-be wise people who state: ‘You can’t change human nature’ are, fortunately, wrong. Because it is possible for ‘me’ to become extinct, thereby releasing the body from the ‘being’ within, I can walk freely in the world as-it-is … this actual world. I, as this body only, can live in that perfect purity twenty-four-hours-a-day. I can live in a state of benignity, which means a kindly and harmless disposition. Life is a sincere and yet playful game and one is then free to enjoy it all, every moment again.
‘Humanity’, which gave birth to ‘me’, is being sustained by ‘me’ remaining as a ‘being’. ‘I’ am forever fettered by the Human Condition. The species known as ‘humanity’ has searched for an Ultimate Fulfilment within the arena of the Human Condition for all of history. Such a search is endless and futile, for it is a search within an illusion. Only further illusions – further states of ‘being’ – can be found there … or delusions. Becoming Divine is a delusion – a state of ‘Being’ that is actually an insult to intelligence. ‘I’ will never find the ultimate fulfilment for ‘I’ am standing in the way of the ‘Mystery of Life’ being revealed. There is no way out, ‘I’ am doomed. ‘I’ must, inevitably, cease to ‘be’. Instead of bemoaning ‘my’ fate and vainly searching for an escape, ‘I’ can see ‘myself’ for what ‘I’ am. This seeing is the beginning of the ending of ‘me’. The extinction of ‘me’ is the ultimate sacrifice ‘I’ can make to ensure the possibility of peace-on-earth for not only me but for all humankind.
Ultimate fulfilment lies beyond extinction. (Richard, Articles, A Brief Personal History, #2)
Kuba: It is such a perverse feeling/belief and yet it is active in ‘me’ because why wouldn’t ‘I’ just walk through that door and leave ‘myself’ behind. It seems as though it would be too easy?! Like ‘I’ am addicted to forever journeying as a sinner. Like ‘I’ am addicted to ‘my’ problems and ‘my’ solutions. But underneath all this is the commandment that I am never to live in perfection, that life is not meant to be easy.
Experiencing that “utter fullness” the other day it was clear that it is here for everybody and that it provides an utter safety, the magnitude of which has to be lived to be known. And yet it was experienced that it would be “too easy” if it was all over just like that. That for some obscure reason ‘I’ should suffer some more. The best I can describe this in ‘myself’ right now is the belief that life is not meant to be easy, that it is wrong to live without suffering, that life should be an ongoing struggle of the good over the bad. I am basically describing that ancient ‘wisdom’ handed out by the god men. But with the discovery of an actual freedom this wisdom was cut at the very root, its very founding principles were shown to be incorrect and so the rest of the worldview topples down.
That is a great insight and, with sincerity, action will follow.
Yesterday you wrote about having discovered the “presence”, the “imprint” – “‘I’ am this imprint that feelings swirl around to form, a ‘structure’ that has absolutely no substance, an intuited ‘presence’”. (link) And now that you have peeled away all the layers of the onion and have discovered the very core – the ‘self’, which if allowed to expand would become the ‘Self’.
Richard: This second identity – the second ‘I’ of Mr. Ventkataraman Aiyer (aka Ramana) fame – is a difficult one to shake, maybe more difficult than the first; for who is brave enough to voluntarily give up fame and fortune, reverence and worship, status and security? One has to be scrupulously honest with oneself to go all the way and no longer be a someone, a somebody of importance. One faces extinction; ‘I’ will cease to be, there will be no ‘being’ whatsoever, no ‘presence’ at all. It is impossible to imagine, not only the complete and utter cessation of ‘me’ in ‘my’ entirety, but the end of any ‘Ultimate Being’ or ‘Absolute Presence’ in any way, shape or form. It means that no one or no thing is in charge of the universe … that there is no ‘Ultimate Authority’. It means that all values are but human values, with no absolute values at all to fall back upon. It is impossible for ‘me’ to conceive that without a wayward ‘me’ there is no need for any values whatsoever … or an ‘Ultimate Authority’.
Thus I find myself here, in the world as-it-is. A vast stillness lies all around, a perfection that is abounding with purity. Beneficence, an active kindness, overflows in all directions, imbuing everything with unimaginable fairytale-like quality. (Richard, Articles, A Brief Personal History, #3)
Vineeto: The question is how long will it take until there are enough people virtually free and actually free to influence and replace the ancient wisdom still being taught in homes, schools, universities and religious/ spiritual institutions with common sense, facts and actuality, as well as equity and parity amongst human beings.
Kuba: This same thing is happening inside of ‘me’ right now. The seeing which can undo ‘me’ (as well as that entire ancient worldview) is already in place. And it is in place in ‘me’ specifically and in the ‘psychic web’ in general. So indeed there is no need for dire projections, rather it is an incredible time to be alive.
As you wrote now it is the case of each human being – “using their initiative and native intelligence to be perfection personified, which is both one’s birthright and one’s destiny.”
Yesterday it clicked what you have been encouraging us to do, which is to find something that ‘I’ deeply and passionately care about. I can see that this is something that needs to feel true to the core of ‘my’ being, something that ‘I’ have wanted so much all of ‘my’ life. I understand this is meant as an open question and for the answer to come experientially but I just wanted to write about the general flavour of this so far. (…)
My whole life there was this sense that something was off and yet I couldn’t put my finger on it, until I had that PCE at 18.
In short what ‘I’ deeply and passionately care about is to be innocence personified. To live that which the PCE demonstrated and in doing so to offer (and demonstrate) a solid alternative to the “hypocrisy, the lack of equity, the ignorant irresponsibility and the harm that was being done by all”. This innocence is what I (and I am sure others on this forum) detect from you and if I had not experienced it first hand I would probably have believed it to be impossible.
Remember, on February 27 you wrote – “So the question is what will seduce ‘me’ to want to gift this gift, it will have to be big!” (link)
It is indeed “big” – “to offer (and demonstrate) a solid alternative to the “hypocrisy, the lack of equity, the ignorant irresponsibility and the harm that was being done by all”, “to be innocence personified”.
It is wonderful beyond words that this is what you passionately want to be … Richard called it service.
Richard: […] As for service: the reward for going to the very end of illusion and delusion is to emerge, unscathed, as the actual. The benefits of doing so are beyond price; to remove oneself from the invidious position of being betwixt sycophants and traducers, being one among many. The immediate bestowal of universal peace upon oneself is the benefit worthiest of acknowledgment. Yet, rewards and benefits notwithstanding, to have reached one’s destiny is to be of the ultimate service possible … the universe has been able to fulfil itself in a human being. Finally there is an intelligence operating unimpeded … blind nature has been superseded.
To live this is what service is. (Richard, List B, No. 25d, 29 Sept 1999).
Kuba: So this is the flavour of ‘my’ deepest desire – to be that. I thought before that it is pointless to proceed in this direction precisely because ‘I’ can never ‘be’ innocent. But this is exactly the point isn’t it?
Ah, this is wonderful. This is what your open question has revealed to you. For this ‘you’ are willing to give 100% of your ‘self’ in order to make this deepest wish an actuality, to be innocence personified, which is something entirely new to human history.
Kuba: That ‘I’ must give up ‘myself’ in order to allow ‘my’ deepest desire to become an actuality. (link)
Ha, once you are willing to say “‘I’ must will give up ‘myself’” then what you deeply wished for, all your life, will be granted – by ‘you’, the only ‘being’ which can grant this wish.
It is pure magic.
Cheers Vineeto