It is a weird one because experiencing that “utter fullness” of infinitude the other day it was like a 100% guarantee, there is actually no other way to travel other than into illusion/delusion. It is more a case of sooner rather than later - just like those enlightened masters ensured a continuation of suffering for 3000-5000 years because they did not dare proceed all the way - if no further pioneers take action now it could be another thousands of years before the human condition comes to an end.
So it’s like the universe ultimately does not care, that utter fullness of infinitude is already always here, it doesn’t have to do anything extra because it’s already complete. Indeed it has all the time in the universe, it is human beings that are only alive for a limited time, so indeed it is doing it for this body, that body and everybody, as in why allow suffering to continue for even another day.
Yesterday something changed in how ‘I’ see ‘myself’, because those experiences a while ago where ‘I’ was seen to be merely a feeling were useful and yet as Richard wrote one does not go about eliminating feelings in order to eliminate the ‘self’, this is the wrong order of operations. Yesterday I was contemplating all this business with enlightenment and I could see that what ‘I’ am as ‘self’ is like an ancient imprint, this sense of ‘self’ is merely a feeling and yet it takes something away to treat it as a feeling only. ‘I’ am this imprint that feelings swirl around to form, a ‘structure’ that has absolutely no substance, an intuited ‘presence’.
The thing is that no matter how much ‘I’ try to get rid of ‘my’ feelings this ‘intuited structure’ remains, this is ‘me’ as ‘self’.
It is the ‘self’ that has to disappear, then there will be no passions, it cannot work the other way around, so indeed it has to be self-immolation. I could see yesterday that this ‘intuited presence’ will forever get in the way between me and others, there is no other way to ensure peace on earth other than by eliminating ‘me’ as ‘self’.