So sitting out in the garden having a cigarette just now it clicked that ‘I’ cannot self immolate ‘myself’, I can see this clearly that it would mean that ‘I’ remain by the end. I saw this when ‘I’ thought let ‘me’ just try really hard to self-immolate now, like ‘I’ would be the agent doing the self-immolating with great effort and of course it immediately became clear that this is a dead end. It’s like ‘I’ would be the one shifting this heavy load that is ‘myself’ but then of course ‘I’ would remain 
It would literally be a case of ‘me’ trying to lift ‘myself’ up by ‘my’ bootstraps.
I can see how this kind of ‘trying hard’ (as if ‘I’ am lifting a heavy load that is ‘me’) cannot work and in fact it could lead to actuality mimicking ASCs.
In a way that is good news though! To see that ‘I’ could not possibly do it means that ‘I’ don’t have to worry about that.
I am reminded of @claudiu writing prior to stepping out from control that “allowing it is not a lacklustre approach”. So there is some kind of effort that is happening of course but it is not an effort of ‘me’ doing it, rather the effort is for ‘me’ to allow it. It’s a fascinating thing because all ‘my’ life ‘I’ learnt that effort means ‘me’ becoming progressively more passionately involved, that if ‘I’ spin ‘my’ emotional wheels more and more that something will move. And it’s like the whole time with actualism it has been the opposite, the effort has been in ‘me’ getting to a place where ‘I’ agree to get out of the way. It is still an effort though it is just in the other direction. Ha @Felix maybe this will sound familiar? 
So ‘I’ can channel all ‘my’ affective passionate energy towards agreeing to get out of the way permanently. It is not about channeling all that energy towards ‘me’ becoming as if a prime mover to self immolation happening.
‘I’ can channel all of ‘myself’ towards allowing ‘my’ own ending, the doing of it is not for ‘me’ to worry about.
Since that experience the other day things have definitely been progressing and I find myself further than I have been before, initially it staggered me a little bit to consider what actual freedom entails. I can see what is meant now that to be fully actually free is to be pure intent personified, which means that one’s character is no different than the character of the infinite and eternal universe itself.
Initially when I saw that the universe will not force ‘me’ to self-immolate as it is already complete, ‘I’ thought well then why do it? Like if things are already perfect then does it really matter? And ultimately for the universe it does not matter, which is why one does it for this body, that body and everybody. It is still quite weird though because those bodies are ultimately no different than the universe itself and yet they are capable of experiencing the meaning of life, that is what is ultimately at stake. That “invitation to paradise” which I mentioned a while back is handed out to each flesh and blood body. The universe doesn’t ultimately have anything at stake here, the gift is for the flesh and blood bodies to exist in paradise.
So then I was thinking, coming so far out from ‘humanity’, is the motivation to allow self-immolation going to come from this side (actuality) or from the other side (‘humanity’). It’s like the ‘humanity’ side is a place of utter desperation and the actuality side is a place of magical perfection and purity.
I am not sure if it can come from the ‘humanity’ side because ‘humanity’ will be left behind ‘back there’ along with ‘me’. ‘They’ will not be saved when ‘I’ self immolate, in fact ‘they’ will be left in progressively dwindling numbers, huddling in desperation.
Ha so just like the universe is seen to be an uncaring bully by those looking from within the human condition, to abandon ‘humanity’ and proceed to paradise will equally be seen as a betrayal.