Considering @Vineeto 's quote above from @Felix 's journal, I began to smell something was off in myself, and it quickly became clear that I was dissociating… from good feelings!
I know I have had this habit for a long time as I can remember something similar from all the way back in 2019, so I’m happy to be catching it today. It is clearly very habitual for me and has often led to a somewhat robotic existence.
I suspect that it came from a combination of some bad romantic experiences (souring me from many ‘good’ feelings) and an inaccurate application of the method early on which became habitual.
I reminded myself of the steps for getting back to feeling good (from the state of dissociation, the first step is to re-associate with whatever emotion), and was somewhat surprised to find that it worked essentially the same as the method I had been using with bad feelings. I soon found myself feeling peaceful and sensuous (rather than dissociated or ‘good’ feelings).
I’m pleased to have uncovered this one, it has dogged me for quite awhile!