Henry: The biggest thing which has been sticking with me since my ‘trip’ Saturday has been a realization of who ‘I’ really wanted to be, who ‘I’ had once been as a kid and had lost track of in the pursuit of proving myself as a serious adult. I remember having a mental image of a naive but lost & lonely kid, seeing all the adults all focused in one place and thinking “Oh! That must be where I need to go!” and diving with all my energy and focus into the place of seriousness, of sophistication, of being someone important. I’m incredibly happy to say that this serious adult has been mortally wounded… my delight, lightness, humor, and appreciation of my fellows on the beach in the sun put paid to that person. I remembered myself as a ‘plucky kid.’ Looking up the definition of plucky: “having or showing determined courage in the face of difficulties.” I’m reminded of the Geoffrey quote that Kuba brought up not long ago:
"Who is that ‘me’, if not humanity?
‘I’ am humanity. And as such, ‘my’ destiny can be achieved.
“Pleasant and wholesome” could become a refuge, a hiding place, for an individual ‘I’, a special ‘I’, fortified in dissociation from the dark soil of humanity by its acquired ‘actualist identity’.
If one is to be humanity, then nothing of humanity shall be foreign to one.
“The psyche is a frightful place” indeed.
What is it that Richard admires about ‘me’? Daring, and audacity. [emphasis mine].
Henry: It’s so wonderful to have pursued all seriousness to its end, to the point that I can no longer ‘take it seriously.’ This plucky kid is both who I once was, who I want to be, and the perfect launching-place to become free from… the delight is everywhere, and I delight in myself and who I am as well… everyone is a peer and a play-mate, I want nothing but the best for them and need nothing.
The courage is of examining and questioning the conclusions of all those serious and sophisticated adults, determinedly pursuing each aspect to its end in the face of the potential reprobation of society. Of enjoying and appreciating even though it is the last thing approved by the sophisticates – indeed, it’s considered the domain of simpletons. Fools may rush in, but only a sophisticate can remain forever trapped in confusion & depression, and then characterize that condition as a virtue!
Hi Henry,
What a wonderful report and how eloquently you describe your new-found ‘domain’ – that of the ‘simpleton’ and ‘fool’ in others’ eyes but actually the naïve unsophisticated explorer for a whole lot of enjoyment and appreciation of this moment of being alive like child’s play.
You may have to remind yourself when old habits try to reassert themselves and seduce you to inadvertently slip back into serious familiar moods – but with affective attentiveness that too can be a fun game.
Henry: From this position who I have been is cast in sharp relief… the bemoaning and anxiety, the skulking, the constant embarrassment & shame. From this naivete there is no need to pretend I know some deep truths that are beyond my ken… my puzzling is simple, graspable, accessible to myself and to everyone. My path is easily trod, as easy as a walk in the woods. All I have to do is continue as I am, and as each step is a delight, there’s no sense of effort involved at all, but instead delight & fascination at having arrived at this place that Richard wrote about, which I have visited but never lived for long, and now see as the jewel of life, the thing that answers all the questions of philosophers and the rest of the lost wanderers.
I can’t say enough about how glad I am to be here. To all those reading, I encourage you to find this simple naivete, your own ‘plucky kid,’ as a priority over all other priorities. (link)
It is a joy to read your descriptions, “plucky kid”.
Henry: The dynamic quality is absolutely here as well – if a PCE is being ‘teleported to another world,’ this virtual freedom is the outcome of 10,000 leagues of travel, dead-ends, perseverance at its best, rewarded with the best living I’ve ever had and with the promise of more to come. I wouldn’t trade my place in the world with anyone, and I would say I can’t wait for what happens next except that what’s happening right now has my entire attention. In this space thoughts come from seemingly nowhere, surprising new conclusions adding fascinating new facets to my reality, each with a clean & glowing quality that tells me pure intent is freely operating… the actual world is near and nearer. (link)
Ha, now you know why Richard keeps emphasizing that virtual freedom is not to be sneezed at in an all-or-nothing approach and a serious bid for self-immolation before one has discovered and explored the fun of being like a child again with adult sensibilities. You described it well, and with actualism slowly spreading over all continents this will be the trickle-down effect of the third alternative for everyone, not to mention the effects of happy and harmless affective vibes and currents.
Henry: Incidentally, Vineeto, you recently questioned whether I had a habit of being hard on myself – upon investigation that has absolutely been true, and I’m happy to say that as I am now it’s no longer necessary – I have the confidence that I will tackle whatever comes with aplomb, that any mistakes to come are unavoidable parts of the living process, and any ‘being hard’ will only slow me down. It has come up a few more times in the last few days and has been quickly recognized and swept aside, each time greeted with yet another gust of increasingly fresh & delicious free air. I appreciate the observation & comment! This is all becoming so easy! (link)
Oh, was that ever necessary to be hard on yourself – or did you mean to say it was an acquired habit and is no longer applicable? You are so right – it will only slow you down in feeling good, feeling excellent and walking around in wide-eyed wonder. I am pleased to see you “appreciate the observation”, don’t forget to apply this same appreciation when you make the observations yourself and unmask your tricks and cunning to “slow me down”.
It is indeed “so easy” and fun once you discover the long-lost childhood naiveté.
Cheers Vineeto