The biggest thing which has been sticking with me since my ‘trip’ Saturday has been a realization of who ‘I’ really wanted to be, who ‘I’ had once been as a kid and had lost track of in the pursuit of proving myself as a serious adult. I remember having a mental image of a naive but lost & lonely kid, seeing all the adults all focused in one place and thinking “Oh! That must be where I need to go!” and diving with all my energy and focus into the place of seriousness, of sophistication, of being someone important. I’m incredibly happy to say that this serious adult has been mortally wounded… my delight, lightness, humor, and appreciation of my fellows on the beach in the sun put paid to that person. I remembered myself as a ‘plucky kid.’ Looking up the definition of plucky: “having or showing determined courage in the face of difficulties.” I’m reminded of the Geoffrey quote that @Kub933 brought up not long ago:
"Who is that ‘me’, if not humanity?
‘I’ am humanity. And as such, ‘my’ destiny can be achieved.
“Pleasant and wholesome” could become a refuge, a hiding place, for an individual ‘I’, a special ‘I’, fortified in dissociation from the dark soil of humanity by its acquired ‘actualist identity’.
If one is to be humanity, then nothing of humanity shall be foreign to one.
“The psyche is a frightful place” indeed.
What is it that Richard admires about ‘me’? Daring, and audacity.
(emphasis mine)
It’s so wonderful to have pursued all seriousness to its end, to the point that I can no longer ‘take it seriously.’ This plucky kid is both who I once was, who I want to be, and the perfect launching-place to become free from… the delight is everywhere, and I delight in myself and who I am as well… everyone is a peer and a play-mate, I want nothing but the best for them and need nothing.
The courage is of examining and questioning the conclusions of all those serious and sophisticated adults, determinedly pursuing each aspect to its end in the face of the potential reprobation of society. Of enjoying and appreciating even though it is the last thing approved by the sophisticates - indeed, it’s considered the domain of simpletons. Fools may rush in, but only a sophisticate can remain forever trapped in confusion & depression, and then characterize that condition as a virtue!
From this position who I have been is cast in sharp relief… the bemoaning and anxiety, the skulking, the constant embarrassment & shame. From this naivete there is no need to pretend I know some deep truths that are beyond my ken… my puzzling is simple, graspable, accessible to myself and to everyone. My path is easily trod, as easy as a walk in the woods. All I have to do is continue as I am, and as each step is a delight, there’s no sense of effort involved at all, but instead delight & fascination at having arrived at this place that Richard wrote about, which I have visited but never lived for long, and now see as the jewel of life, the thing that answers all the questions of philosophers and the rest of the lost wanderers.
I can’t say enough about how glad I am to be here. To all those reading, I encourage you to find this simple naivete, your own ‘plucky kid,’ as a priority over all other priorities.