Henry: Recently travelled to another city, I got back home last night. I saw how while I was gone there was a breath of fresh air as I was outside my usual environs, habits, and triggers. Similarly, when I got on the plane and began to anticipate being home, I could see my old triggers popping up again one by one, as though I was dressing in ‘my’ familiar clothing, one article at a time to complete the outfit.
From this perspective the actualism method is obvious – seeing each of those triggers and questioning its usefulness, ultimately choosing to discard them each one by one, revealing enjoyment & appreciation in their absence. Similarly, it’s obvious why the method can only be completed from the position of being ‘me’: each thing/ identity structure can only be observed while it is in operation. Success is apparent as each thing is discarded to never return.
Hi Henry,
What a great report of success. And you spelt it out precisely – progress can only happen “from the position of being ‘me’”. PCEs are fundamental to experientially understand actualism, for renewed confidence in your growing comprehension of an actual freedom and a firm connection to pure intent. But to apply the actualism and move towards your goal of becoming free the “identity structure can only be observed while it is in operation”, and subsequently dismantled and discarded.
Henry: It’s also obvious how much more ‘light’ and comfortable I was when I was outside my usual – illustrative of the things that ‘I’ still consist of. ‘I’ have felt very awkward and uncomfortable since being back, the contrast makes this obvious. I’m aiming to make the most of this period of contrast.
Your feeling “awkward and uncomfortable” is due to ‘me’ having lost some of the strict control ‘you’ had over your life. You can direct those feeling towards opening more and more to being naïve and unsophisticated, allowing yourself to to embrace and enjoy the already lost control and this new-won freedom, and revel in the magic it provides to your ongoing experience of enjoyment and wonderment.
It reminds me of Richard’s story on his personal web-page –
Richard (speaking in the third person on the 3rd of February, 2016):
(…) as the new year dawned in 1981 and as the grandmother of ‘his’ four children was driving them all down the driveway of ‘his’ ex-farmhouse after having heroically elected to have all of her grandchildren stay with her in the city for a three-week holiday (which had left ‘him’ and ‘his’ wife on their own together for the first time since the birth of the first child around fourteen years previously) so as to give her daughter and son-in-law a break from parentage, and, hopefully in her mind, to be of assistance in the resurrection of their failing marriage. (…)
When their children were duly returned by an exhausted grandmother, after their three-week exposure to the big-city lifestyle had run its course, ‘he’ was particularly determined not to lose what ‘he’ dubbed the ‘honeymoon atmosphere’ by reverting to type – although ‘his’ wife fared badly in this respect (as per the ‘not-even-peeved’ mouse-hover tool-tip, for instance, in the next paragraph below) – and four weeks later as the official school year was due to commence ‘he’ was similarly set on not losing, as the minimal or bottom line of moment-to-moment experiencing, what ‘he’ dubbed the ‘holiday atmosphere’ (engendered via interacting with ‘his’ children as if a child again, albeit with adult sensibilities, due to an irrepressible re-emergence of ‘his’ hidden-away-during-puberty childhood naïveté).
For what ‘he’ had twigged to, in the beginning stages of their joint venture (and particularly exemplified by ‘his’ wife’s predilection for venting over voicing), was how it was far, far easier and simpler to stay in a good mood come-what-may – preferably a happy and harmless mood of course – than claw ‘his’ way back up to feeling good, again and again, after having habitually reverted to type. (Richard’s personal Webpage, tooltip after “the birth of the first child”).
Henry: On the flip side, it makes it clear how much better being even somewhat closer to felicity & innocuity is. ‘My’ life, priorities, and triggers seem so transparent and ephemeral right now. All it took was for me to get on a plane and fly an hour from home for ‘me’ to go into somewhat of a hibernation (or ‘holiday!’). All these objects, attachments, ‘needs,’ narratives etc. were discarded and forgotten, why pick them up again? (link)
Well, “all it took was for me to get on a plane” is only the start – now it is the fun challenge to keep the ‘holiday atmosphere’ going and with diligent and fascinated attention avoid to return to the “usual environs, habits, and triggers”.
What do you think – isn’t this doable?
Cheers Vineeto