Recently traveled to another city, I got back home last night. I saw how while I was gone there was a breath of fresh air as I was outside my usual environs, habits, and triggers. Similarly, when I got on the plane and began to anticipate being home, I could see my old triggers popping up again one by one, as though I was dressing in ‘my’ familiar clothing, one article at a time to complete the outfit.
From this perspective the actualism method is obvious - seeing each of those triggers and questioning its usefulness, ultimately choosing to discard them each one by one, revealing enjoyment & appreciation in their absence. Similarly, it’s obvious why the method can only be completed from the position of being ‘me’: each thing/identity structure can only be observed while it is in operation. Success is apparent as each thing is discarded to never return.
It’s also obvious how much more ‘light’ and comfortable I was when I was outside my usual - illustrative of the things that ‘I’ still consist of. ‘I’ have felt very awkward and uncomfortable since being back, the contrast makes this obvious. I’m aiming to make the most of this period of contrast.
On the flip side, it makes it clear how much better being even somewhat closer to felicity & innocuity is. ‘My’ life, priorities, and triggers seem so transparent and ephemeral right now. All it took was for me to get on a plane and fly an hour from home for ‘me’ to go into somewhat of a hibernation (or ‘holiday!’). All these objects, attachments, ‘needs,’ narratives etc. were discarded and forgotten. Why pick them up again?