Making feeling good a priority. It’s very easy for me to slip into procrastination with the method (especially when there’s no momentum) and think, “things are okay now so we’ll just do the method later”. But no, the method does take effort to get going, it’s not something I can half ass or put off. One of my biggest hang ups is feeling good when my relationship is on the rocks or my partner is upset with me. Before today, I’ve never even tried to feel good in this scenario. I had resigned myself to the belief that it’s not possible, I’m too caught up in love etc.
But no! All it takes is intent and I am now feeling good. This is a reminder to me to try, to give it my all.
Things are going in the right direction for me at the moment. I got so tired of worrying all the time, and I realized that “I” am nothing but a perpetual problem finder and fear producing machine. Since then I’ve just been…not worrying. I find that since I am less fearful, I am more dynamic and can more effectively deal with situations. Fear just completely paralyzes you and stops you from taking action on the things that you fear. But it’s so odd that being without fear allows one to take the very actions effortlessly that one would want to take when they’re fearful but cannot. Anyway, I’m experiencing a lightness of being and am continuing to enjoy and appreciate while nipping any fear in the bud
I now have an experiential answer to my query. When I am happy and harmless, in a good mood, I am not affected by my partner’s depression. I want her to be happy, but it’s not a want that’s coming from “me” because I’m scared, upset, etc. It’s simply a wanting what’s best for her. And this is WAY more effective than me selfishly wanting her to be happy for “my” sake.
And you can take this further and contemplate on the ultimate benefit of becoming actually free with regards to your partner.
Which is the possibility of her actual happiness and harmlessness (as long as there is ‘being’ there will be suffering).
So instead of pacifying the sorrowful and malicious entity (the one actually causing all the harm) which is parasitically inhabiting it’s host body, there is a possibility for the actual flesh and blood body that is your partner, to be free.
It is easy to downplay the effect that becoming actually free can have on the rest of human kind. But let’s propose a world where ‘Richard’ and ‘Vineeto’ never proceeded towards self-immolation, then it quickly becomes clear just how important it is. No less than actual peace on earth, and no less than human beings living life in full meaning, each moment again.