The "Rift"

I wonder if you guys can clarify for me how becoming actually free is more beneficial to my partner than actively trying to be caring. For example, if my partner is in a slump or depressed, I have this urge (drive) to push her to get out of it and do everything I can for her. Based on past experience, this usually has the opposite effect as people actively resist being told what to do. OTOH, if I focus on feeling good, I feel like I’m leaving her behind, marooning her to a life of suffering…